Replica

The ceiling isn’t interesting enough to stare at for several hours. Yet, it’s every feature - from the cracks in the corner to the flaked paint around the lamp, I had now memeorized. Usually I’m too exhausted to put up much if any resistance against the overwhelming instinct to doze off which accompanies me after dawn. However, tonight carries an ominous feeling too present for me to succeed in ignoring. I turn annoyed and drape the cover around me tighter, about to make another failed attempt at sleeping. Just as I close my eyes I jump at the sound of a crash from downstairs.

A horrifying thought crosses my mind -perhaps the paranoia I’m experiencing isn’t truly paranoia but in the highest degree justified. Although, the thought flees almost as quickly as it arrived. I had after all not inherited my mother superstition. After some hesitation I, against my many objections, force myself out of bed. I lay a hand at the bedroom door and feel how my heart involuntary trembles. Then I make my best efforts to open it and sneak down the stairs as silent as possible. I’m not actually convinced there’s anything to investigate and if I actually were, I would have locked myself in the bathroom instead. No, I blame my spontaneous night walk on the crippling anxiety my bedroom started giving me. Even my big sleeping t-shirt had felt claustrophobic after a while. As I reach the bottom of the stairs I hear faint voices.

Annoyed, I pace towards the tv I realize I forgot to turn off. Its soft illumination lights up the living room in an eerie fashion. I’m about to shut it up for good when I stop midways, my hand with the controller in it stretched out and frozen in front of me. Stay inside the title reads. A sweaty man I recognize from the news channel is rambling. His words are melting into each other inside my mind, making them at first incomprehensible. After a while a picture of what he’s trying to say forms. A rather strange one not making any sense at all. Hooked, I throw the remote at the coach and lean forward, eyes glued to the machine. I notice my skin prickling and how I begin to register the quiet around me as threatening instead of as previously, comforting. 

“The government is ushering a warning against all citizens to be aware of your surroundings and following how the events will be unfolding very closely. Since two hours back, a house arrest has been governed in the whole country. All citizens must lock their doors and windows, they must under no conditions leave their houses. We want to remind everyone the military is making this top priority and there’s no reason to panic as long as you stay inside. We will be streaming all night.”

A small sound escapes the hallways. The type of tortured sound an old wooden floor makes as it bends under a person's weight. In an instant I feel the fear forming in my chest, tightening my throat. I didn't just imagined that, right? Before I can stop myself, I turn my watered eyes against the location of the sound. I regret it immediately. A tall figure sways in the doorway, completely covered in the dark. The breath gets knocked out of me and as I heave for air, a broken cry escapes my lips. As it does the creature twitches. I bolt towards the kitchen and before I even can register what I’m doing I lunge myself directly into the kitchen table knocking a chair over. The chair falls with a sound best described as horrendous. Even though I know there’s no chance of hiding from the creature, I still desire to make an effort in being quiet.

In a panic I turn around and for a second everything slows down as the blood in my veins run cold. My own heartbeat thuds loudly in my ears and I’m frozen in horror. Once again it towers in the darkness. This time much closer yet I struggle to make out its features. I stumble backwards until I hit the kitchen countertop with my back. A burning sensation shots across my spine and I wince. My hand instinctively searches out the right drawer as I nail the creature with my eyes. As if I had any chance against it at all. For a second I look away, searching out the right item before I grab it with both my hands and turn back. I point the knife at it, the blade faintly shimmering in the dark. For a moment I can’t make out what I’m seeing. My brain doesn't know how to understand and I don’t think I want to either.

I’m not met with a six foot silhouette but rather I stare into eyes at the same level as mine. It has stepped into the middle of the kitchen now, fully visible in the moonlight shining from my window and I’m not looking at a horrifying monster. I swallow in fear - I’m staring at a reflection of myself. An uncanny, wrong version of myself yet almost exactly the same. Scream. You must scream. The thought is pounding at my consciousness but I seemingly have lost control over my body. I wrap my arms around me and sink down against the kitchen floor, now violently crying. My whole body hieving with sadness of what seems to be the end. However, my helplessness momentarily disappears as my replica takes a few limping steps forward.

A wretched voice I don’t recognize as my own but must be mine fills the night. I could never have imagined how much desperation could have existed in one word alone. It’s too late though, I argue with myself. Help is now only a foreign dream, too far away to reach. Instead I shut my eyes to wait out the inevitable when like an echo the “help” bounces back to me. I stare back at the nightmare and it stares back at me. It mimics what I screamed, sounding like a mixture between an animal and something electronic. Then, it repeats it again, now just a whisper. Fragile and vulnerable enough for me to feel a little more at ease.

Why hasn’t it attacked me already? Like one would have switched channels a faint shimmering appears around the creature before it transforms to its previous form. Its tall dark body collapses on my floor and not until then I notice the trail of blood it has left behind. Frighten, I press against the counter watching its body contract. Its head turns against me (something looking like a cross between human and lynx coated with thick black fur) and stares into my eyes. Now I’m sure the pain I saw in them before wasn’t only an impression of my own. It utters another broken ‘help’ and something inside awakes to life. Perhaps it’s an occupational injury -not being able to watch another one's pain without feeling the need to soothe it or more likely, I’m just crazy beyond comparison.

Slowly I’ll make my way over and both of us are admin not to break eye contact. At last I kneel at its body examining the bullet wounds. I count them to four. As I draw an unsteady breath I reach with my hands against the closet wound. Using my other hand to grasp around my wrist to ease the shaking. Besides me the creature moans in pain as I press against the wound. It closes its eyes and lets its head fall on the floor. A sharp pain pierces my heart when something glimmers at its side. I relize the creature must have been holding the object all this time. Tears immediately dwell in my eyes. I pick up the photograph which now has a broken frame. A sad smile escapes my lips.

I will never be able to forget that day. It was such a beautiful weather and not long before we found out she was sick. Those days, before everything went to hell, are the ones I remember the best. Like as if they were tattooed to my memory. A single tear searches it way down my chin and falls onto the picture. Suddenly awarness of the situation kicks in again and when I look up I understand the creature has been watching me. 

“That’s my sister.” I explain. A sorrow pride in my voice. The creature only whines again in response, as if in more pain. When silence falls over us again I become aware of another conversation taking place. I redirect my attention to the television where this time a woman is speaking.

“Around four hours ago the military was encountered with an unfamiliar flying object which was shot down by our forces and later crashed at a classified location. The object was first thought to be of Russian origin but when the military arrived at the object they were met with resistance from an unfamiliar enemy. Some theories believe it to be an extraterrestrial meeting. During the conflict a now confirmed number of a hundred and fifty soldiers lost their lives and nine unidentified bodies believed to be aliens were also to be found. The government..”

Pictures and video cams from the scene are showing. In the corner of my vision I notice how the creature watches the tv with a new found focus. Confused and nauseous over my sudden understanding I raise myself up and stumble over to an aid kit. The floor swaying at my feets seeming both distant and awfully close. Hundred and fifty casualties I repeat to myself. A feeling of dread washing over me. I must have understod the secound I saw the creature for the first time, what it truly were. Just like I could speculate what must have happened between them and us to cause such chaos. Although, to hear it out loud...

“Sister.” I turn around to find the creature pointing at the tv. A blurry video of what looks like a speeding shadow is playing. It ends in gunshots fiering and a shriek I don't recognize as human. Reluctantly I acknowledge a streak of empathy tugging at my heartstrings. I wish I didn't knew what it felt like to lose a sister but when I look into the creatures eyes I see that we carry the same heavy burden of grief, and something more. A desperate begging to be fixed beyound surface wounds. It beggs me to turn back time and undo everything that will never stop hurting. I know because long ago sorrow molded me the same way. Longing for a different fate. Surprised, I realize what I’m about to do.

"Okay. Look I’ll fix you up but then you’ll have to leave in the morning.” I state like it would understand what I just said. Quickly I collect a few more things before I once again lean over its body. An hour and then one more goes by. When all the bullets are removed and all wounds tended for, I wipe the sweat from my forehead. A relieved smile is displayed on my face but abruptly fades to the sound of sirens. The sound too loud for it to have any less than five sources. A panic grasp me. What if they start knocking door? Or investigating the area? Suddenly, the possible consequences of this situation seem more real than ever.

“Listen, you can’t look like that. You have to change back. If they find you like this.” My voice is dreaded with desperation. What would happen to me if they found out I helped it? To my dislike I realize I ask the same question about the creature too. I worry about it. As I decide I must find it a hiding spot for the night since I probably have no luck reasoning with it, a faint shimmer fills the room.

In a shook I stare at a face I haven’t looked directly at for ages. Quickly I clasp it with my hands before it blurs behind my tears. The most beautiful face to ever exist. I embrace her and refuse to let go. At first she is stiff, unsure, but then her arms wrap around me as well.  

“I thought I lost you forever.” I cry out and she doesn't respond. Scared she might disappear again I pull back to look at her. She’s still here I note to myself, relieved. My head is dizzy from happiness as I take in her auburn looks and pointy nose. 

“But you’re here now.” I whisper to her, high on the triumph.

“Yes, here.” She echos back and I frown my brows. Her eyes gleaming back at me in the dark. Strange, her voice doesn't sound like I remember it. I wish to hold her forever but eventually I let go, leading her to the coach and wrap her in blankets. I kiss her on the forehead in a familiar movement. There was a time I thought I’ll never get to do that again. Completly at peace I find my place in the armchair across from her, watching her fall asleep. When her eyelids twitches and breath calms, I realize for the second time this evening I forgot to turn off the tv. The news is still running. Talking about how dangerous the unidentified enemy can be. With a grimace I turn back at my sister. A memory flashing my brain of how she once accidentally crushed a caterpillar which promted her to cry for a good thirty minutes. Carefully, I scoff over and take her hand in mine. It’s delicate, far too delicate to ever hurt anyone. 

“I will not let them take you from me.” I whisper and in response she hymns back at me. Agreeing, I figure, there's no reason for them to try.

Tomorrow I’ll tell her I whisper out in the dark already tormented of having to wait. I see for myself how her eyes will lit up and her laughter bless will my ears. She won’t have to leave in the morning, in fact she can stay here forever.