In The Shadows of The Night

Since I was a young girl, it would take me some time to fall asleep at night. The dark was comforting to me, especially since my bed was near a window where I could gaze at the night sky. That was the most beautiful thing to me, watching  the moon light stretch across the sky. Before, I knew it morning had arrived.  Looking out my window at night allowed me to appreciate nature's beauty. As a child, I loved just looking up at the sky. I recall watching the heavy rain hit against the glass as lighting streaked across the sky. It was briefly terrifying but beautiful at the same time. I would place my feet up on the windows glass feeling how cold it got. This would rock me to sleep. To this day I love the sound of rain and hearing thunder clap across the sky.  It was a mix of fear and beauty.  The sounds of rain and thunder to this day resonates with me.

   One night while laying in bed looking at the night sky and plugging my ears singing, I would eventually hear my mother call out from her room, "Girl be quiet and go to sleep."  I did. I stopped singing and went back to looking at the dark sky dimly lit sky from the moon.

    Looking out the window the streetlights became apart of my nighttime tapestry. All the lights in the surrounding houses were out, but I wondered if anyone else was up like me. Staring at the sky through their window.

    Sometime after being told to be quiet I felt a energy shift. It broke me away from my eight year old train of thought. I shared a bedroom with my brother at the time, and I was privy to have my bed near the window, but across from the door that would lead into a short hall way I could see the bathroom. The door would be cracked, and adjacent to the bathroom was my mom's bedroom. My brother was still knocked out sleep, even through my apparent loud singing I just spontaneously wanted to do. 

    When, you walked through the short hallway from the dining room  the floor boards would creak slightly before getting to my bedroom door.  I heard the floor boards creak that it made my mind still, my body slightly froze, and I became aware something was in this house that shouldn't be. My mind then drifted off too, 'but how did it get in? I locked the front door.' That was my chore at night. To turn the bolt on the door and place the link chain on. We lived  in a two- family flat, and this door would lead out of our house to stairs that took us down to the main house door to go outside. Adjacent to this door was another door that was the entrance to the neighbors/ landlords house. I remember her being a nice lady.

    Whatever it was stopped.  The creak in the floor board must have briefly startled it. I'm staring out into the dark hallway when suddenly I see something short, wide and hairy with no face, waddle fast and sat down quickly at my door entrance.  It looked as if it tucked its legs under itself to sit on top of them. I sat up in my bed looking at it briefly as it positioned itself at my door. That was too much for eight year old me that I jumped out of bed, sprinted passed,  whatever that was, into my mom's bed.  I jumped in the bed behind my mom, fear running through me as I peeked over her sleeping body to see if this thing had followed me or, if it had decided to move at all. When I noticed I was safe I laid down mind and heart still racing. I laid there for a moment wondering where and how this thing got in the house. After calming down and feeling safe in my mom's bed I drifted off to sleep.

     This creature reminded me of 'Cousin It' from, The Adam's Family or the 'Gobblin' puppets from the McDonald's commercials that were covered in fur.   It was hairy. It had no face, no arms, but self aware of where it was going. My mom asked why I came in her room that  night.  I explained some creature came and sat at my door, but she didn't believe me.  She chalked it up to a child's imagination when I knew what I saw. I didn't care much for 'Cousin It' or the 'Gobblins'. I know what I saw whether she believed me or not.

     That night after taking my bath and watching a favorite TV show things felt different.  I didn't know if that creature would return back. Regardless I wasn't looking for it. I was a little scared now of what presence the dark now held. The dark for me was a comforting place, now I was considering the moonlight as my night light. I had developed a fear of what lay in the shadows of the night. I didn't stare out at the beauty of the night through my window. I laid in bed with the blankets over my head and fell asleep. That's the way I would fall to sleep after that. There were times I would peek my face out from the blankets to stare at the sky. The blanket still covering my head. Back turned towards the door.  It was my way of disappearing so that creature couldn't see me if it ever decided to come back.

     When my family  moved from that two- family flat into our own house I got my own bedroom.  I loved not having to share a room with my brother any longer.  My room made me feel safe and when it was time to go to bed I closed the door. This simple act gave me comfort, even though I curled with the blankets up to my chin, my back turned to the door.