It-Girl in a cage

Sun doesn't starts its day.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!", someone says from above.

The bright blinding light does.

510 doesn't know if there is a voice from above. Reality?

Or imagination? It couldn't tell.

No one would judge if it wouldn't make its bed.

The scientists don't really care.

But Mareesha's Mummy, the one she loves much, would care.

So it does. For her.

It's hard to keep track of time without sunlight.

Or clocks. Or the moon.

But 510 always recives its breakfast at some point. (Lunch? Dinner?)

Water (500 ml)

Vitamins (50 mg)

Food-Pills (200 g)

Antibiotics (30 mg)

Unknown-Pills (300 g)

The food pills should substitute food. It doesn't really know why.

Don't ask questions. They're useless.

Doctors refuse to tell it what the unknown-pills are for.

It doesn't want to know.

Surviving in the organization meant staying silent (including the staff).

The walls always seemed near.

Mareesha hated silence. She hated unanswered questions. She hated cages.

But Mareesha wasn't here. Luckily.

It missed its Mummy and its Papa. Mareesha. Saorise. Kate.

They were safer, it's better.

It tried reading (just non-fiction. Reality already felt like horror).

Escapsim is just for frees.

510 prayed. A lot. It never did in freedom. It never did.

'Praying is for the desperate'.

Despite the antibiotics, its stomach always hurt. Maybe from hunger?

It doesn't why it's hungry.

Oxford Dictionary: D, desperate (adjective)

giving little hope of success; tried when everything else failed.

At this point, 510 had forgotten.

Mareesha once had a plan, to break free. Run away.

Now, it has forgotten everything.

Wich god does it even pray to? God? Gods? Spirits?

Christian? Hindu? Muslim? Jewish? Pagan?

It tried to remember. Tried to remember how it's possible.

This sounds important, it thought.

It tried to remember, but its mind felt like water.

It didn't worked. No ice.

"Mummy. Papa. Saoirse. Kate. Mareesha", it repeated their names again.

It can't forget them (again.)

Psychological evaluation (even if everyone could tell that it's broken).

It isn't new nor hidden.

Broken (person):

made weak and tired by illness or difficulties.

It's a mockery. So-called food.

Maybe it's better that way. Thinking about real food? Disgusting.

It would make it vomit.

(is the brainwashing already that far? The real world, disgusting?)

Oh above, it's fucked up.

It knew, from the beginning, that this wasn't a good idea.

The human psyche is vulnerable.

Homesickness:

the feeling of being sad because you're away

(from home, family and friends).

"Yes, it makes me sick!"

Someone screamed, her voice full of anger. It scared her.

There was no voice above.

It scared her how unfamiliar it was with using 'me'.

"Mareesha's here...I am here."

I: used when the speaker/writer is referring to herself.

"But who am I, right?"

There is no mirror in the cell. It saw itself.

Messy hair. Crying eyes. Mareesha.

All bargaining, it didn't worked. She was here. Mareesha's here.

"After all time...I forgot."

It forgot that it's Mareesha. Heavy breathing. Panicked looks. Realization.

"It has to protect Mareesha..."

The cameras looked at 510 with interest. Its hands shook. Fuck.

"But...aren't I Mareesha? I-"

My eyes widened. The cameras. The cell walls. The light.

It was made to control.

It-

I?

No, not again! 510 has to obey!

Don't fall out of order. Don't ask questions. Stay alive.

Don't go insane.

Realization (noun) : process of becoming aware of something

"No! No! No", it fighted.

Tears fell out of my eyes. This place makes me insane.

"510?", above said. "Take your pills."

Suddenly I understood what the other pills were for. Why they wanted me to keep them.

It took the box full of pills. I looked for the unknown-pills.

The sound of electricity punched against my ears; my eyes bled from the bright light; it was so bloody cold. This world was disgusting.

The pills were little and yellow, they looked just like Tic Tacs.

"Eat them", above ordered.

I looked above. There was nothing.

Should I refuse? My mind drifted into daydreams. It could just break free, like Mareesha always wanted. Running at the beach, feeling the cold water touching its ankles.

Daydream (noun) :

pleasant thoughts that make you forget about the present.

But it was just a daydream.

My smile faded. After all, everything goes exactly like the plan.

And I may hate it, but I was the one to make it, so there is no one to blame for that.

I nearly smiled again. The plan has harmed me and my psyche already, but I already calculated that, so it's okay. The more important thing: I'm still in control. The system hasn't failed me, I constructed it that way.

With that in mind, I did it again. Loose my mind. Loose my identity. Loose my name.

Again.

It chose this harmful behavior.

Its eyes opened. Why did it sit on the floor?

No questions, it reminded itself.

510 stood up again. It read, ate, prayed. Like every day.

Mareesha was trapped in Eden.

Not in the sense of paradise, because the organization wasn't.

In the 'no questions' sense.

Adam and Eve ate a fruit to realize what's happening.

Mareesha eats pills not to.

Because it's her free will, the one Adam & Eve gained.

And she does, because she can.

Free will (noun) :

the power to make your own decisions about what to do, without being controlled by God, fate or circumstances.

Maybe Adam & Eve weren't real, but when Mareesha's mind was awake, she always compared them to each other. The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself.

Sacrifice (noun) :

the fact of giving up something important or valuable to you in order to get or do something that seems more important; something that you give up in this way.

Your friends, family, home, identity, mind and name are enough, right?

(Idiom) cross my heart (and hope to die):

used to emphasize that you are telling the truth or will do what you promise.

Promise.