The Minion's Grail....

WTF--"With The Family". Janelle was ready for the family vacation. She was holidaying with her husband Jack, the jokester. They were driving to the Lakeside Holiday Inn. Janelle and Jack were not planning on a second honeymoon. They were taking along, in their large car, their five daughters, and her late mother's old apricot poodle, Beau.

Janelle and Jack's daughters were a geographical lot. Ranking in order of age, they were as follows. Africa, aged 12, ( really born 40 years old); Georgia, 9 years old; Nevada, aged 7 years, Savannah, now six years old, and the youngest, Montana, now fully five years old. Janelle had always loved map reading.

So, the WTF vacationers set off, all aboard, buckled up. "I really want to go on a holiday with my best friend," moaned Africa, sulking. "So do I," thought Janelle, but silence is her best option. "My lips are sealed. Africa had started budding, and no longer regarded boys as a waste of space. Scary.

The road ahead was clear, the rest of the family were quite chirpy. Savannah and Montana were coloring their "Frozen" books, all good. Then Nevada shrieked, " Beau's dead!" The WTF vacation pulled over to the side of the highway. Poor little Beau lay motionless on the floor, no longer snoring.

Hysterics ensued from Janelle's five junior drama mamas. Tears rolled, inconsolable. Jack the jokester pulled a small shovel from the boot of the car. He began digging. "Don't worry, girls, we'll give him a proper funeral." Janelle laid little Beau in his small grave.

Miracles happen. Beau immediately arose like Lazarus, and nipped Janelle on her arm, as usual. He had never liked Janelle. The feeling was mutual. The roadside funeral was cancelled, as the ball of fluff widdled on the front tire of Jack's pride and joy, his car.

The girls all giggled. Drinks and snacks were shared. Then, naturally, Jack the jokester had to drive them to a restroom at a Roadhouse. All aboard again for the WTF vacation. Suddenly, a query from Savannah. "Where's Georgia?' "WTF" said Janelle, craning her neck to check, "Jack, we left her at the Roadhouse!"

Wheelies ensued. By the time the WTF vacationers reached the Roadhouse, Georgia was in tears again, hiding in the restroom. Off again, heading down the highway. "Mum, I feel sick!" yelled Nevada, closely followed by Montana. Janelle issued bags. Yes, the WTF vacation had packed their stomach bug. "Barfarama in the back!" joked Jack. "Funny ha," thought Janelle. Again, silence was her best option. "My lips are sealed, " she thought.

Jack tried to hold her hand. "We might have a son next." "More funny ha!" thought Janelle. Was he only after ONE THING? She could hear her mother talking silently. Janelle was always good at map reading. Jack was not. Some time later, as the oil light started blinking on the car dashboard, Janelle summoned her courage. "Honey, you were supposed to turn right two hours ago. "WTF!"

All perfectly normal for Janelle's vacations. WTF! Funny ha! She realized as a people pleaser that she was not supposed to tell a male how to drive, let alone where to turn. Never mind, the intrepid family finally made it to take their lake destination. It was nearly dark by now, but they unpacked and sorted their daughters' sleeping bags on all the bunks.

Janelle realized that she and Jack were making happy family memories for their growing family to treasure. But it was all a bit third world, sleeping in bunks, cooking over open fireplaces, minimal refrigeration, inadequate ablution facilities. Janelle zipped her lip ,everyone was hungry again. "My lips are sealed," she told herself.

Jack always seemed to have two missions in life. One was to breed more junior church people for his faith. His second quest, like a grail, was to find and eat the perfect hamburger. Home cooked never quite made it, in Jack's opinion. So, after unpacking, the explorers all piled into the wheels again.

Jack drove into the gloaming to the nearby township, dodging other vacation traffic. Janelle spotted the good old fashioned rustic hamburger shop. The menu was a bit limited, but she was used to Jack by now. The burgers here were made on the spot, no golden arches. The beef patties were grilled just so, the bacon added a crispy touch, fried eggs were added.

Jack and his family scoffed them down, sitting on a seat nearby. It was cooking the traditional way. Cans of fizzy drinks were emptied. Then Janelle and her family were driven back to the lakeside park. Jack did give the lakeside hamburgers his AAA rating. It was a pattern, everywhere Jack and Janelle went in life, there was a quest for the ultimate burger.

Eventually, the penance of the WTF vacation was over, there had been swimming, canoeing, splashing, children shrieking, parents meeting and greeting, socializing in hot summer nights. Janelle's back was aching by then, occasionally sitting down in a camp chair, hoping no one drowned in the lake. Jack drove his family to all the local rustic burger shops.

Arriving home, Janelle quickly resumed loads of washing, avoiding any more non-immaculate conceptions. She wondered why she was so impatient for all her family of growing girls to grow up and get their own pads. The seasons turned, the years did pass, did time have wings?

Janelle sipped her limited allowance of daily coffee intake. Now she was widowed and old, Africa had recently summoned her adult sisters, and had a family conference. As a result, Janelle,had been relocated to senior residential facility, with some family photos and minimal storage space. She now lived near Africa's house. Africa and her husband had gone on a luxury holiday, definitely not camping. Janelle was not invited.

The rest of her daughters had scattered. Somehow, no one went camping again. Jack had passed quite young. It was the raw hand of fate. Janelle realized now that she should have not been such a doormat, following her husband's quest. She read of minions, and had a quiet chuckle.

These days, even where she was living, she made her own minion fun. She had been searching all her life, for a vacation with her best friend. It had been a quest, like her grail. Now she was tired, her life was one life holiday. Janelle attended weekly prayers and church services, enjoying the old hymns, meeting some other residents.

Yes, this was her minion's holy quest. Jesus had been her best friend through thick and thin. All his gifts had been for Janelle's giving, she had sprinkled kindness through her life. She was still there, on vacation. Her life was still for the living, enjoying her simple pleasures and happy memories, past a mysterious veil of faith. Janelle smiled, tonight's menu for the residents was hamburgers. One with the lot! "My lips are sealed," she told herself.