Forgotten Time

I always wanted a rocking chair. One of those large white ones. On a porch in the sun. Where I could sip tea or lemonade watching the grandchildren play, surrounded by family and freshly baked scones.

I settle for the bench seat with the cushion and stare across the small manicured lawn of the courtyard. The rose bushes bring beauty to the ugliness of the high Colourbond fence.

Memories of younger years run through my mind. I smile at the thought of my nanna baking in the kitchen and tending her garden. I would go with her to pick out plants. Forget–me- nots. I never inherited her green thumb.

The sun’s warmth envelops me; tingles of excitement dance over my body. Something good is coming. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But I know it’s definitely a good thing.

A strong chemical scent hovers in the air. Well, it’s certainly not that. I’ve always prided myself on the use of natural ingredients for cleaning. Lemon and vinegar. Nowadays, everything is toxic and expendable. A soft breeze tickles my face like the gentle fingers of a loves caress. The excitement rises and then dampens with the sun’s withdrawal under a cloud. I inhale the sweetness of the expected rain. It might be time to go inside soon. I wonder what the time is? So easily lost track of these days.

I’m expecting Suzie for afternoon tea. It’s her turn to bring the snacks. Hopefully, it’s one of her orange chocolate cakes. I’m sure they’re my favourite. Perhaps that’s what I’m waiting for.

The sun brightens for a time only to be beaten back by the gathering of heavier clouds. My mood also dips. I feel like I have lost something. Whatever it is, it’s important. I know it is. But what? Why do I have a feeling of impending doom? I’ve always seen the funny side of life. Relishing the strange moments. The mishaps. I stifle a laugh at one such thought. My wedding day. We had just come from the church and awaited being announced at the reception. A server brought a tray of drinks, and as my new mother-in-law handed me a tall glass of soda, she faltered and tipped the whole glass down the front of my wedding dress. I couldn’t tell you who had the bigger look of shock on their face. The marriage lasted a few years. I often credit in jest; she cursed us at that moment. Thankfully, regardless of marital status, we have always been a family to each other.

The creak of the back door sounds, and I turn to see my dear neighbour, Suzie. I think I would be lost without her. I like her far better than that Kate lady. She turns up unannounced. Fusses about, wiping things down. You’d think I never cleaned. Granted, I’m not as spritely as a few years ago, but I still have standards.

“How are we today?” Suzie says, placing the chocolate delight down. The orange slices on top glisten.

“Wonderful, now you are here. And this masterpiece of yours doesn’t go amiss either.”

I’m not sure how long Suzie stayed. We laughed and ate. It was a pleasant afternoon. I guess that’s what I was looking forward to. I told Suzie, tomorrow, when it’s my turn to take the sweets, I will make a trifle. Normally reserved for Christmas, I know. She agreed it was a lovely idea. I need to get up early. It’s best to soak the sponge in brandy for a few hours at least.

A draft whips across me, and I shiver. I searched the room for the source. Before I can close the window, Kate strides over.

“Best we shut this, Ms. Rachael, you don’t want to catch your death.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind that. Then you can take over my entire house.” My eyes burn into the back of Kate as she leaves. I look around. I don’t remember retiring to bed. I must have slept after…after. I’m sure I went somewhere. Hmm, I comfort myself with empty words. “It’ll come to me.”

I reach for my book, my hand landing on the empty bedside. That damn woman. She’s moving my things again. Tomorrow we’re going to have words. I won’t have her touching my belongings. At that moment, who should walk back in, a broad smile across her bony face.

My mouth opens in protest but stops at the sight of a very handsome young man. At first glance, I could have sworn it to be my David. Returned from another interstate trip. It’s been some time since I accompanied him in the truck. My heart sinks. The flicker of acknowledgment. He passed some years ago. The old semi, most likely reduced to a box of rusted metal.

“Ms. Rachael, you have a visitor.” Kate states.

“I’m not blind.” I wave her away.

He waits at the door. His not overly tall but very well built. Broad shoulders. I always loved a man with broad shoulders.

“Please come closer.” Perhaps he’s selling something. I smile politely, already knowing that whatever it is he wants to offload, I don’t need it.

His lip raises in a smile. The warmth of it travels through me, lighting my heart. His eyes sparkle. Small creases on the sides carry a burden. I stare. I see deep sadness in him; it radiates within me as well.

Perhaps I will buy, I say to myself.

“Come, young man. Please sit.” Heat fills my cheeks as I lie in my bed. “I’m sorry; I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“It’s perfectly fine,” he says, sitting beside me. For a moment we sit in silence, then he places a hand on mine. For some reason, I don’t flinch. The memory of David flashes, when he was young, carrying the weight of the world.

“You remind me of someone I used to know.” My voice suddenly became husky.

The young man’s smile grows as a tear rolls down the side of his cheek. “I know, Mum. I remind you of Dad.”