What Comes Next?

*Themes of physical abuse, death, and substance abuse

Dennis

A…B…C

The liquor store down the street wure them shady characters hang out durin’ the night. Momma always said never go down that way, ‘specially once the sun tips over the horizon, back toward the ground on the other side. That old Mercedes had that glint in it’s eye once that sun got far ‘nough.

Shawn say it look like Momma’s wink, remindin’ us in her not-so-subtle way she always watching. Shawn ain’t never seen Momma get mad like me.

I can’t see nothin’.

Momma’s voice knife my head.

“Get over yourself boy. You ain’t hurt. Better quit fakin’ it and get on to school now. Ya’ll got a long walk, I reckon. Can’t be late.”

“Can’t you take us, Momma?” Asks Shawn. He ain’t never paid much attention to anyone but hisself.

C…D…

I can’t think a dammed straight line with all this noise. Shawn always bangin’ something together in the next room. Paw been tellin’ him for years he better learn somethin’ quick. Ain’t no way he’s goin’ to college.

I ain’t never known anyone gone to college from round here. Momma says we belong over there in Paw’s mine. Shawn talks about it like he ain’t got half a brain. I told him, I says, I ain’t goin’ to work in no damn mine. Ain’t nobody ever come out that place once they go in.

He talks about Momma and Paw. Ain’t nobody been to college from round here.

Shawn ain’t made it past the third grade. Paw told him what he says to me.

“Boy, quit with that schoolin’ shit and be a man.”

I ain’t never listen to Paw anyhow. He pull that belt on me whenever we talk. He says to me, “This here leather’ll make a man ‘nough outta you boy.”

Shawn slumps in the corner whenever Paw pulls out his belt. I reckon he had ‘nougha them whoopin’s to make a man outta him.

Ain’t no whoopin’ ‘nough to make Paw’s man from me.

Momma don’t do nothin’ ‘cept cookin’.

She looks at me while Paw step up on me.

Shawn ain’t never been past the third grade. Paw ain’t never gone to school. Momma ain’t done nothin’ ‘cept cookin’.

Charlotte

He ain’t talkin’ nothin’ but mumbles. Look here at his lips. They ain’t even movin’.

Denny always made me feel safe round him. Now he’s layin’ here smellin’ like the commode. He ain’t made no sound ‘cept mumblin’ since. Look here. He’s lickin’ his lips. That’s my brother. My brother is thirsty nurse. Get him some water.

I look at her. She ain’t doin’ nothin’.

Look here. I’ll do it my damn self.

These dammed wheels ain’t movin’. My arms are tired. My glasses ain’t even on. Can’t see nothin’ anyhow.

“Can’t you see he need water?” I say.

She just shake her head.

“They lick their lips often when someone experiences what he’s been through, Charlotte. We have to let him work through it.”

He ain’t even got an eye open! And you ain’t even told me what my brother been through. Look here, miss nurse. His mouth ain’t workin’.

“He ain’t thirsty?” I say.

She just shake her head.

“What comes next?” She asks Denny. He just mumbles. His eyes got that glossy film over them. They ain’t even open. And he smells like the commode.

Dennis

I ain’t goin’ to work in no coal mine, Paw. You done swindled Waylon and Shawn, but you ain’t gettin’ me too.

Paw swings the leather. It ain’t hurt that much no more.

Waylon comes in. He’s got that shotgun round his shoulders. He ain’t never killed nobody with that gun.

“You ain’t gonna shoot nobody with that.” Paw says.

I look at the red marks. Dammed hornet stings.

Waylon puts the shotgun down. He looks at Momma. She’s choppin’ celery in the kitchen. He looks at Paw.

“Ain’t no reason fer beatin’ him, Paw.” He says. “He ain’t made fer this life anyhow.”

Paw don’t like back talk.

“Take your dammed mouth outta my house.” He says. He points to the door.

“Them boys say Denny works numbers better’n any dammed body. I seen it myself, Paw.”

“You want some boy?” Says Paw.

Waylon smiles, picks up the shotgun, winks at me, then leaves. Momma’s choppin’ celery in the kitchen. I hear that knife ping off the wood.

Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here.

Paw looks at me. He snaps that belt in his hands.

“Git outta my dammed house boy.” He says.

I’m tryin’ to say I’m sorry, but I can’t find my mouth.

D…E…

My mouth ain’t workin’ now. Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here. Shawn ain’t never made it past third grade. Waylon is standing outside with that shotgun round his shoulders. He ain’t never killed nobody with that gun. Paw don’t believe him. He ain’t stayin’ neither.

Momma can’t even look at me. She’s just choppin’ celery.

Paw’s drinkin’ from that bottle again. He ain’t never had a day wure he ain’t thirsty. That bottle ain’t never been full in my life.

Mindy

He’s made it up to ‘E’ so far. That’s more progress than yesterday. These people talk like they have cotton balls in their mouths. I can’t understand a word they say.

If he can just get to ‘G’, I’ll let the doctor know.

He still can’t see. The doctor will want to know that too.

Charlotte asks me what I’m writing. I tell her it’s notes for the doctor. She asks me why he can’t be here too. Her brother is lying in a hospital bed after a massive stroke. He just turned eighty two last month. She doesn’t know the doctor has seen him four times already since last night. Or what a stroke is. I tell her again.

“What’s a dammed stroke? I ain’t never heard of that.” She says.

Her accent is thick. I’m losing my patience.

Last night, Denny attacked two nurses in a fit of rage. He’s strong for an old man.

Sundowner syndrome, they call it. Denny’s dementia puts him in a state of rage. He thinks the doctors are trying to hurt him. They think he’s got PTSD.

If he just wakes up, I’ll get the doctor.

Charlotte wheels herself over to the bed. Denny is laying on his side.

“Look here, he need water. He smells like the commode.” She says.

I don’t know what that is.

His eyes start to move. He’s waking up. I turn to go get the doctor. He’s finally awake. The doctor will want to see him.

“Who are you?” I hear him mumble.

The question stabs me in the heart. The pain on Charlotte’s face is clear.

“Have we met before?” He asks, more clearly.

He’s looking at her as someone might look at a stranger. He doesn’t remember his own sister.

A tear flows down my cheek. Charlotte is devastated. She bows her head to cry.

Denny just looks at her.

He woke up. I better go get the doctor.

Johnson

“He made it to ‘E’, doctor. Then he woke up. I wanted to wait until he made it further, but he woke up, so I came and got you.” Mindy says.

Denny hasn’t made it to ‘E’ since he had his stroke over a month ago. The charts say his memory is nearly 90% destroyed or incapable of access. At this point, he’s living long term memories as if they are his present.

Nurse Mindy looks sad. She’s been crying.

But Denny made it to ‘E’. He’s still got some reasoning left in that old brain. If he makes it to ‘G’ tomorrow… He needs rest.

“Excellent,” I say. “Let’s let him rest and try again tomorrow. He’s sure to have quite a bit on his mind.”

Nurse Mindy nods.

“One more thing,” She says.

I look at her.

“He asked his sister if they’d ever met before.”

She looks sad. She’s been crying. I put my hand on her shoulder.

“It’s part of the disease Mindy.” I say. She nods.

Denny doesn’t have long now. Nurse Mindy knows. She’s been crying. He doesn’t know his own sister. He’s been talking about her for a year now. Since his stroke, his memory has been lost.

Nurse Mindy tells Charlotte her brother needs rest. She doesn’t want to leave. I can barely understand her thick accent. She asks me what’s wrong with her brother. She says he smells like the commode. I don’t know what that is.

I tell her come back tomorrow and I’ll tell her.

Dennis

Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here. Paw don’t want me back in that house. Waylon done gone ahead to Knoxville. He ain’t never killed nobody with that gun. Paw don’t believe him.

Paw’s drinkin’ again on the sofa. Momma ain’t doin’ nothin’ ‘cept cookin’. She asks me if the marks hurt.

I tell her no.

She ain’t never done nothin’ ‘cept cookin’ anyhow. Shawn ain’t never gone past the third grade. Paw ain’t never been to school.

“Thought I told you to git outta my dammed house boy.” Paw says. That bottle’s glued to his hand and it ain’t never spilled.

I ain’t goin’ to work in no dammed mine. You swindled Waylon and Shawn. You ain’t swindlin’ me, Paw.

“I’m goin’ to college.” I say. Paw laughs.

“Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here.” He says. He take off his belt and step up on me. Momma ain’t doin’ nothin’ ‘cept cookin’.

“I ain’t afraid of you no more.” I say.

Paw don’t like back talk. He smack me with that belt.

I ain’t afraid of him no more. I swing back and catch him with my knuckles. He stagger back. That drink spill all over him. That bottle ain’t never been full before.

Momma ain’t doin’ nothin’ ‘cept cookin’.

“You ain’t gonna stop me.” I say. He ain’t say nothin’.

I walk out that door. I ain’t never comin’ back here. Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here ‘cept me. Shawn ain’t never made it past the third grade. Paw ain’t never gone to school. They went to that mine, and they ain’t never comin’ out. Momma ain’t doin’ nothin’ ‘cept cookin’. Waylon ain’t never killed nobody with that gun.

I walk out that door. Momma ain’t even stop cookin’. I’m goin’ to college, and I ain’t never comin’ back here.

Johnson

I don’t know how to tell her. Nurse Mindy is next to me. She saw it happen last night.

Charlotte comes in. She looks tired. That wheelchair is too heavy for her, but she won’t let anyone push her.

“Wure’s my brother?” She asks. “He don’t even know he met me.”

It’s hard to understand her accent. It’s thick. They’re country folk.

I tell her Denny has dementia. He can’t remember much of anything these days. And when he had that stroke a month ago, it made it worse. I told her he’s reliving old memories.

She looks sad.

“He fight a lot, don’t he?” She asks. I tell her yes.

“Him an’ Daddy was always fightin’. Ain’t nobody gone to college from wure we’re from, ‘cept Denny.” She says.

She’s crying. How do I tell her?

“Charlotte, I’m sorry, there was an episode last night. Your brother, he thought he was fighting his daddy,”

“Paw… He call him Paw.” She says.

“Okay. Paw. He thought he was fighting Paw. He slipped and hit his head, Charlotte. He’s dead.”

She cries harder.

Nurse Mindy gives her a hug.

That old man is the toughest I’ve ever seen come through here.

Charlotte

Ain’t nobody gone to college from round here ‘cept you, Denny. Shawn ain’t never come back outta that mine. And Paw, he ain’t never been thirsty. Momma ain’t do nothin’ ‘cept cookin’. They all buried, and now you too.

Waylon… He ain’t never kill nobody with that gun. They kilt him Denny. They kilt ‘eem with that shotgun.

You ain’t even know me. Look here, my own brother ain’t even know me.