Wedding Rehearsal from Hell

"No one noticed you staggering into the place" Wayno said as he and Gus were filling their plates from the buffet along the wall. Wayno was Gus's best man. They were at the wedding rehearsal a couple of days before Gus and Lisa, his fiancee were getting married

"Yeah, thanks to David's entrance." David was Gus's soon to be brother in law and one of his hanging buddies.

A few minutes after Gus and Lisa came through the door, David came in with the lady he had been seeing for the past couple of weeks. Lisa's parents, who had set up the rehearsal dinner were across the room, chatting with the pastor who would be conducting the ceremony, along with Lisa's aunts and uncles.

"Hey, everybody, this is my new squeeze, Frenchy" David announced to the rather sedate audience. The parents were not pleased with David's broadcast, especially as the guest list did not include a plus one for the rehearsal. The scowl on the father's face and the look of bewilderment on his mother's, spoke emphatically as all eyes turned to see their reaction to David's entrance. Both David and Frenchy were noticeably intoxicated. They had been at the Rendezvous Brew Pub since lunchtime with Gus and Lisa. Along with pitchers of beer, David ordered shot after shot of premium tequila toasts that Gus was unable to refuse. Lisa had abstained from the toasts, knowing how her father would react to a drunk and disorderly display. She was not wrong. Gus's condition was not noticed because David's showing had run interference for him.

Lisa and David's parents were ultra conservative, in both their politics and demeanor, especially her father. David had a history of disappointing them. This was another straw on his camel's back. Her father was not especially happy with his daughter's choice of spouse, either. Gus's longish hair, propensity to party, and offbeat sense of humor did not make him an adequate addition to the family especially once Gus revealed that he voted along progressive lines. The fact that he had a good job pushed the scale a little further to the acceptable zone.

The rehearsal was held in the upper room of the father's favorite restaurant. The mood the father intended was on the formal side. This display was beyond his expectations, though David's conduct was always a wild card.

"What's the matter with you?" the father shouted. David just shrugged his shoulders.

The mother put her hand on the father's arm.

"Don't cause a scene" she quietly said.

"I'm not the one causing the scene" he shouted. "Get the hell out of here."

David and Frenchy stood and staggered toward the door. At the threshold, David turned around and addressed the room.

"Nice seeing you all. It's been a blast" he said, then turned to follow Frenchy down the stairs to the lobby.

"Good riddance" the father proclaimed. "I apologize for my son's behavior.

By the time they went through the routine of rehearsing for the upcoming ceremony, Gus was stable enough to go through the motions without his condition being noticed. He had been through two packs of breath mints in preparation. Too bad here was no coffee.

Gus and Lisa gave their gifts to the members of the wedding party. The servers brought out the buffet trays for the dinner. Guests lined up take plates and serve themselves with the prime rib, chicken, salad, and side dishes. Gus and Lisa were last to get in line, right behind Wayno, the best man and Carol, the maid of honor. Gus told of how they had been at the Rendezvous all afternoon.

"Wish you'd of invited me" Wayno said.

"Me too" Carol added.

"Just what we needed" Lisa said. "Another couple of drunks for my father to kick out.

They all laughed.

"Next time" Gus said. "We'll have to get together to celebrate when this thing is over."

"How 'bout Monday night?" Lisa suggested. "We don't leave for Cancun 'til Tuesday." They all agreed.

"Hope I'm not too hung over to get to the airport" Gus said.

"I wouldn't worry" Lisa said. "After you faked your way through tonight, I have no doubt you can pull if off. Besides, I'll be there to drag you all the way to the plane if need be."

Even though the reception after the wedding was open bar, Gus kept his consumption to a respectable level.

"No sense falling on my face while we're dancing" he told Lisa.

David and Frenchy were there, avoiding contact with the parents. When David did glance over to the table his father was at, he saw the major stink-eye his father was directing at him. He turned and chuckled.

"How's it feel to be the black sheep?" Lisa asked, noticing the exchange.

"Pretty much used to it by now" David answered.

"You've sure done enough to deserve it" she said.

"Been practicing all my life" David responded. "Sorry if I ruined the night for you."

"You didn't ruin anything. I'm just glad Dad didn't notice the condition my hubby was in. Thanks for taking the heat."

"That's what brothers are for, sis" he said.

"You sure are a good brother, then." She punched his arm and laughed.

When the music started, Lisa got up to do the obligatory father daughter dance. Gus danced with his mother-in-law, hoping to get himself in good graces with at least one of his new in laws. She laughed when Gus lead her in a couple of under-arm turns.

He noticed his father-in-las scowling at the attention this was bringing to them, taking attention away from his own performance of bland dance steps.

"I'm not used to dancing like this" the mother-in-law said. "Wish I could get Henry to liven up a little on the dance floor."

"Maybe get him out to shake it up when the band gets going" Gus said.

"That'll never happen" she said.

"Too bad" Gus replied. "Might do him some good to shake it up."

"Probably have a heart attack" she said.

When the band began playing a more rock and roll set. Gus and Lisa were putting their swing dancing steps on display. David and Frenchy were mostly gyrating with some crazy footwork. Wayno and Carol were also on the floor. They would be dating soon and shared some passionate embraces and kisses as the night went on. By the time the Monday night party at the Rendezvous was over, they were planning to spend the coming weekend together at a cabin in the White Mountains. By the time Gus and Lisa had returned from the honeymoon, Wayno and Carol were an exclusive item. They had both changed their Facebook relationship status to 'in a relationship'.

Gus and Lisa had fond memories of the experience. On their anniversary they were reminded of David's wedding rehearsal entrance and laughed. They met Wayno, Carol, David and his latest girlfriend that evening at the Rendezvou. David's time with Frenchy didn't last much beyond the wedding. Pitchers and shots with a few orders of spicy chicken wings were the carte du jour. At closing time, cabs were called to get them all home.