Phantom Reality

“You can’t understand. You can’t really comprehend. You can’t relate with the burdens I carry.”

“How? What do you mean?” Lester asked.

“I fight everyday. I fight fierce battles. I fight to keep my mind in place. I fight oppositions it’s a tough one.”

Lester nods and responds, “Ok. It’s normal. We all fight everyday. We all fight for our dreams and ambitions. We all fight for what we want. Every sane human being does that.”

“Oh! I said it. You won’t understand.” Timothy holds his head.

“Then please make me. Am your friend. I need to know where to come in.”

“I don’t know how to make a vivid description. See, the only way you can understand is for you to come on the inside of me. Only then can you understand.”

Lester shakes his head. “But that’s not possible. Am not telepathic.”

“Then forget it. Then you can’t understand the extent of what I go through. Oh! It’s crazy. A times am almost out of my elements.”

“Geez!”

“Yeah! Really! A times I can feel tension in the atmosphere. A times I can feel people’s pains and worries.”

Timothy is having a hard time understanding his person. He can’t comprehend the happenings going on, on the inside of him. He has been battling with this for a very long time. When it seems he is out of the woods, the next minute he is encapsulated. He is enmeshed. What’s happening to me? What’s going on? Am I metamorphosing? These are some of the questions he asks himself.

He was having bouts of conflicting thoughts so he decided to take some days off from work. Two days precisely. Lying on the couch he was lost in thought when his phone rang.

“Hello! Son”

“Hello dad.”

“Are you Ok?”

“Yes I am, dad.”

“But you sound different. You sound tired.”

“Yes. Probably because I just woke up.”

“Just woke up! Are you not supposed to be at work?”

“Dad, if you know am supposed to be at work then why did you call knowing I will be busy and won’t be able to pick calls.”

“Yeah! That’s why I called during your lunch time.”

“Ok.”

“So back to my previous question. Why are you not at work today? Are you feeling unwell?”

“Not really. Just kind of iffy.”

“I don’t understand. Please say something. Explain yourself.”

“Dad, it’s just that I have been battling with the same issue I told you about. But this around in torrents I can’t explain. I feel lost in a maze.”

“See son. In life we all have struggles. We all have challenges. We all have fears. Your ability to handle these, is what makes you a man. You have to take the bull by the horn.”

“But, but dad, challenges vary. They have their proportions. Mine is overwhelming. Stifling. Suppressing. Killing.”

“Yes! The more overwhelming, the higher the goal and the higher the benefits.”

“Dad, this is different. Sometimes I feel like running away somewhere from everyone around and staying there until everything is clear.”

“That’s reclusion. You'll end up been a recluse. It’s that what you want?”

“At least until my mind is clear. And am back in my elements.”

“I don’t think that is necessary. All you need is to stay focus on the goal.”

“Dad, it’s more than that. I think I need it.”

“Ok. No problem. Please just keep in touch.”

“I will.”

“Yeah! Bye.”

“Bye dad.”

He makes enquiries and finds a place he could go. He packs some few things and takes his journey. ‘Gateway City of hope’ also called the home of self awareness and self discovery is not too popular a place but has been a host to some of the big wigs. Some said they couldn’t find a pathway, everything looked dark and dreary until they paid a visit to the place. Some said they couldn’t figure out some things about themselves, they felt like strangers in themselves until they were guests to the place. Others said they thought they were going crazy and were no longer in control of their minds until they called at this place. So Timothy decided to go on a visit. He meets Nakrish also called “the wise one”.

“Welcome. You’re welcome my son. How can I be of help to you?

“Oh! Wise one. Life has been chaos and craziness to me. It’s been hell.”

“How has it been hell? And as you said cha-os and cra-zi-ness?”

Nakrish listens with rapt attention.

“Have been going through a lot lately. It didn’t just start but some years ago. It’s as if as time progresses it gets hotter and more complicated. I took some days off from work because I couldn’t contain it anymore. It’s as if I should just run away and hide somewhere or fly away from the whole world. It’s, it’s my mind.”

“What’s wrong with your mind?”

“I don’t know. It’s like am no longer in control of my mind. It’s like it’s going on its own journey. It’s like it’s going haywire. My thoughts are no longer coherent. Am fighting to keep my mind under control. But now it seems am about to explode.”

Nakrish smiles. “You’re not going to explode. You’re not going crazy. It’s just that you're a special breed, a unique person. There are people like you out there. Several I have seen. You only have to learn how to take control of your mind and bring it back when it’s running riot. Also to harness your inner strength and will power.”

“How?”

“Do not worry. We treat our guests well. We’ll teach you all you need to know. You'll sure be glad you came.”

“Thank you wise one.”

“Oh! You can call me Nakrish.”

“Ok. Thank you Nakrish.”

“You’re indeed welcome.”

Timothy stayed at 'the Gateway City of Hope” a year. He was taught the art of meditation, self awareness and self discovery. It was a wonderful and unforgettable experience for him. After he left there he had learnt all needed to stand strong and stay afloat. He could now embrace the world.