Truth About Life: A First-Person Fiction

Grow up and learn what life is all about. It's not about becoming a famous billionaire to prove something, or about getting the most medals in an Olympic contest. Sure, money is nice, and getting those medals make us feel accomplished. But in the end, all of the gold medals you've won are something to be proud of, but not base your life around. My name is Jason Finn, and I'm a thirty-two-year-old lawyer. When I was growing up, all I wanted to do was prove to my parents that I was a perfect, straight-A student, not some failure with D's and F's. It sounds stupid now to think I got upset at a 'C' when I was ten, but then, it was like the world was coming to an end. Well, my world, at least. Now, I'm not saying D's and F's mean failure, because I've been there and I thought the very same thing. The definition of failing is a lack of success. Okay, maybe you screwed up on a test, but it doesn't end there. There's always success around the corner, and you can advance in anything you put your mind to.

Think about it this way: everyone has pieces of anxiety, something that tends to worry them the most; this doesn't mean each person has anxiety attacks thinking about it, but it's something worrying that sticks to our brain like a thumbtack. The part of the brain containing this is called the amygdala, and it controls fear and anxiety. Just like how I would fail tests, thinking I had to prove I was some Albert Einstein protégé. No, that wasn't the case, but it sure seemed like life and death when I got a test paper back. Take it from me, life's too short to always have to worry about the next test. Meaning, don't always look at your mistakes of the past, focus on where you are now and what you strive to accomplish. But with this, also not worrying about the future. See it as a positive chapter in your life, and I'm sure we all know the saying, "tomorrow's a new day". We're all tired of that, I can tell you right now. I sure was, but have you ever stopped and actually taken those four words in? Because I didn't, and that took away years that I could've been happy when instead I worried over the next paper I would get back, or what would happen in the future. Now, enough of the TedTalk, time for my story.

Growing up, I was with my mom and dad, and our Goldendoodle, Max. I called him "Maxy" as a kid, but he didn't really respond to that as well. Then again, I was eight, and I didn't understand. My mom was a teacher, and my dad worked as the CEO of a coffee shop called Bluebell Cafe. He was always up early to open because he loved working behind the counter and socializing with regulars. But for me, I wanted nothing to do with helping him. My mom would drive me to the cafe after school and I'd finish homework, but I almost always wished I had something for school. It sounds dumb, but if I didn't have homework, my dad would always make me wipe down tables or write in new prices for the next week or upcoming month. He only did this because I was told I had very nice handwriting. Now, with that I wouldn't argue, but why me? Couldn't they just have another kid and make him do this when he grows up? Little did I know at the age of ten, then, that that's not exactly how things worked.

All in all, that wasn't the worst of it. As I got older, now turning fourteen years old in June, the stress of high school started to get to me. Now, this wasn't the first-week stress of "What if I miss my classes?", "What if I don't make friends?", or "What if nobody likes me?"; No. My thoughts were the complete opposite. I knew each classroom of that school because my mom had worked there... pretty much my whole life, and I wasn't big on making new friends, I was fine with the close group that I already had from elementary school. Well, the ones that didn't switch schools, at least. And frankly, I didn't care if people liked me or not. Sure, I had insecurities as everyone does, but that never stopped me from doing what I wanted. If I wanted to pass a test- like most of us would I'd think-, I would stay up half the night studying and making flashcards so I was sure I wouldn't fail...; Stupid pop quizzes. They always got me, and on a whole different subject, too! I had a pop quiz in science class once, and when we got the paper, it was all math! I wasn't horrible at math, I had a 'B', pushing a 'B-', but I was fine. I remember staring at the quiz thinking, "When did this happen?", and already imagining the bold 'F' on my paper the next day. From what I knew, we had never learned this! Then, my teacher said something we've all heard before; "You should have learned this last year". Yeah, right. Once I was done with the quiz, I handed it in, and she just looked at me. She stared at me with her oddly cold, blue eyes and said, "You do know your formulas, right?". All I could do was smile, nod, and walk away the second the bell rang.

That was the hardest test I had ever taken. And not even, it was only a quiz! What else was there to come? Already I was stressing about my grade, even though I had brought it up to a 'B+'.

Moving on from that unpleasant memory, then came my senior year. I was already looking into multiple colleges, nearing the end of the year with all A's. But I never said what happened between those two years... did I? Well, Max died, and it affected me more than I had really thought it would. We never got another pet after that, simply because I was already in high school, and didn't want to go through that again; not yet, at least. During those few years before I graduated high school, I went to counseling for feelings of anxiety over the future and scenarios practically made up in my own mind. Of course, they could happen, and they were all perfectly realistic... but that's what was scary. Either way, I hated counseling. I went every Wednesday for a whole month before I couldn't do it anymore. I continued to reassure my parents by telling them I was fine, or I was just a little moody, but that wasn't always it. I pushed the feelings of worry down and struggled with the thought of ever disappointing my family, let alone my parents. The worst thing I could ever think of was between making my parents think I was a complete failure, or losing them without ever getting to prove that I was more than a 'C' or 'B' student. There was never anything wrong with that, it was my own mind telling me I would never measure up.

With this being said, look where I am now. I'm a lawyer with a wife and two kids. Christine and I met when I was in my last year of college, and when we graduated, we got married. Then I was in law school, and during that time she had two beautiful kids; our son, Skylar- who's eight- and our daughter, Hannah- who just turned six. I've learned a lot in my life, but this is my life lesson to you.