Every new years eve- there are conversations on resolutions; how can I change, how can I do better, how can I become the best person I am born to be. The problem with a new year’s resolution; is they are always broken, not followed through on, no strength or power to move forward. The mystery of a resolution and why they have no backbone is because, there is no purpose. It is just a game in society where people are pushed to think that their resolutions will work. It is a fog like a cancer that's spread and blinds people from how to truly focus and push to gain their true abilities of seeing their worth in life.
Resolution is not what should be in our thoughts. The way to
approach a new year is learning how to truly push forward. To do so; with the
key word; RESILIENCE.
Resilience is defined in my eyes as; the power to jump over obstacles, overcome traumas with ease, to shrug off the difficulties we run into; while pushing forward every waking moment. Being resilient means you believe in yourself; your self worth, your mind and spirit. Your body is a temple and you must try to believe that you have the power to do anything.
Life has always been rocky from my perspective. Some people are
just dealt the bad hand in poker; but unfortunately you cannot just fold
when it comes to the 'game of life'. There is a reason to be here; everyone was
born for a reason. Whatever that reason is; it means you have a purpose. Some
people may never know what their purpose is. But- with the power invested inside
of your soul; you can try to see what it is.
It takes a true warrior to see the vision of themselves and
where they stand. If the vision is clear enough; resilience could be achievable
with ease. Sometimes though; there are outside factors that may block someone
from their ability to achieve a resolution or become resilient.
The words can be used interchangeably. The words are just how
you view it. I sat today thinking what my purpose is. I have sunken myself into
a pity of despair yet again. It is hard to dig yourself out of that hole. The
hole of darkness gets deeper and darker each year- the thought of a resolution
or even a small step forward; or a more blunt way of putting it- the next day seems
impossible to manage.
When life has been full of trauma, darkness, and in simpler terms just straight evil; while having interactions with demons and the devil himself... it is hard to
So, if you were to see the side from someone in those shoes- how
can you explain the purpose of life? What is the purpose of a new year’s
resolution? What is the purpose of tomorrow? What is the purpose of yesterday?
Are those questions that you can answer? Does the thought of
those questions being asked; does it frighten you? Does the pure pain and immobility
of someone's life make you wonder? Is there such thing of being resilient? Is
it possible to move on from such traumas; to become a stronger person?
I have so many questions, without many answers. It is hard to
say or type those thoughts and I can barely answer them myself. It scares me to
think, another year coming? 2022? How will it pan out? Should I make resolutions
or should try to find resilience. In a world so cold, dark and terrifying- is
it possible? How does one find the light when they are frozen in the past?
Time... it moves slow, fast or the memories stay on replay. Now
being stuck in that revolving door of pain means the memories, flashbacks and
traumas stay on replay. Any resolutions you decide for yourself get pushed
aside. Because every day you fight demons, dark thoughts, the pain of wanting
it all to go away, the pain of existing, the pain of wishing it never happened,
the pain of wondering what it would be like if I was never born. Those thoughts
that are fought everyday takes the life out of you. It feels like this is not
the life you should be living.
Sometimes you get a boost and think to yourself- wow... today is
a good day. Today I can move forward and move on. But, lets pause and think to the future; the next day you cannot even get out of bed.
The purpose of this short story is to tell a story about a fresh start for someone that had a difficult year. When I started writing this story- I thought to myself; wow I bet I can think of a million ways how to tell a story like this. But- when I truly vision a new year’s resolution or having resilience in 2022- I cannot even picture how to tell that story.
All I have to say is; to think of where you started, what you have been through, how you made it out of those scenarios and no matter where you may be today- you can have a better tomorrow.
Whether you are a newcomer to a country, a woman escaping a toxic abusive relationship, a boy becoming a man, someone that lost a friend or family member, a child in foster care, a person struggling with mental health- I want to believe that 2022 will be a good year. That this is the year that all of your resolutions and dreams will come true within a certain time frame.
Those scenarios all seem like such different aspects of life or different circumstances – but each one has different hurdles to overcome. Each circumstance is given in life to certain people. Some people’s lives may be easier; some people’s lives are a lot harder. But; in reality- everyone has moments that test their abilities and help them grow and become resilient. Now I may be no award winning author or a writer, or even someone that went to school for a field of this mastery; but these are my pure and most true thoughts. My feelings spilled on paper, no edits, no double thinking, just typing erratically while feeling the worst I have felt in 27 years.
So, I am going to end this short story by saying; the grim reaper may control me and the devil may walk among us. But- with my resilience and strength of a true warrior, my resolution will become my dream to succeed forth with. Today I have the power to say yes, I can. Today, I have the strength to have a better tomorrow. My resolution is to move forward with strength of a bear, the knowledge of an owl, and the curiosity of a cat.
I welcome 2022 with open arms and I wish anyone reading this- a year full of happiness, growth and spiritual renewal.
Your friend and fellow short story writer,
Miss Maggie Maria.