A place or a space.

A table.

A seat at the table.

I get it.

Do you get it?

Did you get it.

What are you willing to do, or to give up, to get it.

Who and what will you destroy in your process?

A brilliant kid with a brilliant mind once asked me to save the little table. I looked around as if to say, where, what little table? You know the one that keeps the pizza box “open” that sits in the middle of the freshly cooked, delicious, usually celebratory pizza.

I was dumb founded.

Questions literally raced through my mind. I already knew this person’s heart, their curious nature, their brilliance, but now I needed to know their perspective.

Little did I know. I already did know. At the time, we had more or less been growing up together, so the words, actions and feelings were pretty well known. And felt.

Times may change. But people really don’t. The good parts. The bad parts.

For the sake of argument—and hey who other than an honest lawyer-LIKES to argue. It is a skill, the skill to have people skills. Let’s simply call it “People Management”.

The trick is to not forget. And that is where the mystery of the mind seems to lie. Or lie.

Consider for a moment. Altruism. In its pure and most pure form is the principle and moral practice—for the sake of our discussion, let’s call it MCT as in Moral Code Theory, of concern for happiness of other human beings or other animals resulting in a quality of life both material and spiritual. In many cultures, it is a traditional virtue (Wk)

In some cases altruism may become a synonym of selflessness, which is the opposite of selfishness.

Life is complicated. Or not.

Another bright, take no prisoners-thinker-I know also with a shining heart—coped with complicated life circumstances by repetition. An expressive, repeated message to and of “Stop Draggin’ your Boots.”

Fair enough. Wouldn’t you say? Enough is enough. Wine, whiskey, cookies, candy, lies, stories, shaking, bopping and hip hopping. Full disclosure.

Too much of any of the above makes me drag my boots. So. Sometimes, fool heartedly I spring into action. Oops. Trip. Fall on my face. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch, again, left my safe place, my safe space, my sanctuary at the door, along with my good sense. At times, it is best to not know what we think we want to know. That one may be in a bad place. Need more space. Need to pace.

So. Who, what, where, when, why, but most importantly, HOW do you seek your sanctuary? And how do you come up for air? Does your sanctuary find you crouching in the basement, hiding in a corner, behind a tree, with an overwhelming need or desire to hop a fence and run until you collapse?

I know the feeling. But, at least now we can get some sleep.

Awake. And. Refreshed. Or. Out of Touch. With Reality. Perhaps, the safest kind of sanctuary indeed. A reliable space? A reliable place? Where to seek and find. Where to go. Where to hide. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Looking around to find a “someone”. Sometimes desperate times do call for desperate measures.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

And may come in all shapes and sizes. Even bottles and cans and boxes.

Friendship. Reciprocity. Or an eye-for-an-eye. Yikes. I do not think that I want to know. Crude and mechanical norms, or complex and sophisticated norms. Reciprocity figures prominently in social exchange theory. (WK) Yikes. I am not even sure of what all that means. When in doubt. Punt? Or.

Maybe this is the best time for MCT to come in to play. This game of life. A good alternative. Not perfect. But, consider it a step in the best direction. A better direction. Justice is a hallmark. Justice includes the idea of fairness. Principled and impartial behavior and thinking. Yikes. I have got some work to do. How ‘bout you!? Before reaping any “reward”. Reward and punishment include discussions of merit, desert, blame and punishment inevitably to involve questions about fitting-ness and proportionality of our responses to others. Gotta get to work on this.

Begin to balance the scales. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Double that, and we have a humdinger and a host of helpless situations. Crazed minds need care, tending to in the most gentle of ways. In order to heal in the most gentle of ways. So rather than sticky, the healing sticks. Stop the cycle of hurt. Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people.

The steps to get there from here. From this place to that space. In dragged boots, high heels, or converse flats or high tops, need to be carried on with the gentleness of a baby in mind. With baby steps. We all crawl before we walk. (Unless of course, too much whiskey is present.) Stay aware and awake with the alertness of a new born checking out their environment. Remember with grace. That they too do not know what they do not know.

Do not take advantage of their good nature and let them walk, bump into a wall. Ever. Exploration is part of their world. To learn and grow. In a safe place. In a safe space.

Fear of falling can be a powerful motivator. In a perfect world, MCT may be a more prudent, proper sanctuary, a humane alternative that benefits the most without slighting the few. In a perfect world. Why build a foundation on hatred? That is so sad.

”People are people, so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully”. Let’s change the word, the words to awesomely! Keeping in mind, the back of our minds, that many human beings need help from one another from time to time in order to pursue their individual interests effectively.(wk) O.k. I get it. You got it too, yet? Just start somewhere,

And walk the balance beam of people management very carefully. After all is said and done. People are People.

”So we’re different colors and we are different creeds. Different people have different needs. It’s obvious you hate me , though I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve never even met you, so what could I have done?”(DM)

“I can’t understand.

What makes a man hate another man?

Help me understand.”

I do not think I want to know. But I do want to understand.

You.

In a place. In a space. Who, what, where, when, why, how and until you feel safe. The most basic of life’s questions. The most basics of humane humanity. Not blind loyalty or automatic reward before punishment—cart before the horse. Hard questions need to be asked with baby steps. In mind and heart. Patience, my friend. Patience. Too much violence never amounted to anything good, proper, even if and when sugar coated.

“Pour some sugar on me.” “How do you take it? “One lump or two?” Why, for some reason does it not sound like the words are not talking about a cube(s)…..No. I don’t think that is the route to take. The direction to go. It is fairly safe to say that babies don’t know hate, violence or hatred. Protecting and guiding their world in peaceful humanity and honesty is worth a try. Don’t give up or sell out on anyone or anything.

For a seat at just any table.