Third Times the Charm

Warning: language

The sweet air of my favorite candy shop, Charlotte’s Sweets, fills my lungs as I push open the glass door.

“Good morning, Stella.” Charlotte calls from across the pink counter.

“Morning Charlotte!” I smile back, as I gaze into the cases filled with countless types of chocolate in preparation for Valentine’s Day. “I think I’m going to go with two dozen milk chocolate hearts today.”

“Sounds good! Your students are going to love these.” She smiles, as she starts prepping my order.

Once a month I treat my students to some of Charlotte’s homemade candy. Watching the excitement on the kids’ faces as they open their treat bags never gets old.

“Any big Valentine’s Day plans?” Charlotte asks.

“Eh not this year. I’ll probably just hang out at home. What about you?” I ask as I fumble through my purse searching for my wallet.

“Oh, Matt and I are just going to see a movie, nothing crazy.” She replies. Matt and Charlotte have been together forever. They’re the type of couple you envy. Matt is kind and patient and Charlotte just as kind-hearted and compassionate.

 “That sounds so nice, I haven’t been to the movie theater in so long.” I say as I hand Charlotte my credit card. What I should’ve said was, “I haven’t been to the movie theater with a man in so long,” but I decide to keep that one to myself.

As Charlotte hands me my bag full of chocolate hearts the front door of her shop swings open and there he is, standing in the doorway. I’m pretty sure if Charlotte wasn’t still holding onto the bag, I would’ve dropped it and broken all two dozen of the hearts.

“Stella?” He smiles as he walks towards me, arms open.

“Oh my gosh, Anthony?” I laugh as I wrap my arms around his torso. He looks as beautiful as ever. His short, dark, hair freshly cut, his hazel eyes sparkling under the bright lights of the shop. “What’re you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.” He smiles. “But I’m just picking up some candy for Valentine’s Day.”

Ugh, so they are still together, I thought to myself. He hasn’t posted anything about his girlfriend on Instagram or Facebook in over a year, so I figured they may have broken up. “Oh, how nice. I’m just picking up a little Valentine’s Day gift for my students.” I reply.

“Those kids are very lucky to have you, Ell.” He says.

Ell. The sweet nickname he gave me all those years ago. He’s the only person in the world that calls me anything other than Stella, I can’t believe he even remembers calling me that.

I whisper a “thank you,” as I pick my bag up off the counter. “Well, I better get going. It was so good to see you, Anthony.”

I wave goodbye to Charlotte as she restocks the boxes behind the counter. I begin walking towards the door when Anthony says, “yeah.” And lets out a long breath, almost as if he’s having trouble finding words, “it was really good to see you.” He finally breathes.

I push the glass door open, and the cold winter air burns my face. “What the fuck? Anthony of all people.” I say under my breath. I feel my eyes start to well up with tears. “No way, no fucking way. I’m not doing this.”

I open the passenger door to my car and set the bag of chocolate down alongside my purse. I stand outside of my car and take a deep breath. I shut the door and walk over to the driver’s side. As I begin to open the door, I hear his voice.

“Hey Ell, wait up!” He yells from across the parking lot.

I panic and wipe a tear off my cheek that managed to escape my eye as he runs towards me.

“Hi again.” I laugh as he reaches my car.

He smiles and looks down at his feet. “Um, I don’t know when I will see you again and I’ve been wanting to tell you this for so long. This probably isn’t the right time, but I don’t know that there ever will be, and you know, they always say to tell someone how you feel about them.”

My heart begins to race as he takes his time choosing which words to use next. “I used to tell everyone that I was going to marry you some day. You know, back when we were in high school. I always thought you were the one.”

And just like that, my heart falls directly into my stomach. “You did?” I somehow manage to murmur.

“Yeah. I always thought that some day we would get married. Every time I saw you, I would get nervous and fumble my words, I just always assumed you didn’t feel the same way, of course until a few years ago.” He anxiously says. He always appears so confident; this was clearly a new emotion for him.

Anthony and I were friends in high school, we didn’t go to the same school, but we did run in the same crowd and have a lot of mutual friends. We both were in relationships at different times back when we were friends in our junior and senior years, so there was never a romantic relationship.

 A few years later we reconnected with a new group of friends, and he confessed that he had some feelings for me when we were in high school, but never told me because he was worried I wouldn’t feel the same. I was extremely caught off guard because he still had the same girlfriend that he had all those years ago.

Him and his girlfriend ended up breaking up five months into our newly formed friendship and that’s when we began to explore our romantic connection. He knew I had developed feelings for him during our friendship, but we never explored it while he was in a relationship. His girlfriend was extremely toxic, and his friends eventually had to talk to him about whether she was really meant to be in his life, cue the breakup.

We were never dating, and it was a very casual relationship, but I somehow managed to whole heartedly fall in love with him. I fell in love with everything about him, his eyes, his laugh, the way he would pull me closer to him when we sat next to each other in the backseat of a car, the smirk he would make when our eyes met across the room and the way that he would always find my eyes when he said something funny to make sure that I was laughing, even when in a crowded room.

Our casual little romance ended before it could even begin. After three months I noticed he had become distant, and that’s when I found out, through a mutual friend, that he was in a relationship with someone new. My heart was absolutely shattered. We were never “official” or exclusive, so he had every right to date other people, I just never wanted him to. After finding out about his new girlfriend we remained distant friends but never made an effort to see each other.

Cue to three years later, to this moment, standing in the freezing cold on a Sunday morning, the day before Valentine’s Day, in front of the man who I thought was the love of my life telling me everything I’ve ever wanted to hear from him.

I am completely frozen standing in front of him. My eyes glued to his. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just in shock.” I whisper.

“It’s okay, I know this is so out of the-.” I cut him off.

“Why did you start dating her? Why would you start dating her if you had feelings for me? If you knew that I had such strong feelings for you? I would’ve done anything for you, Anthony.” I spit out.

“I was scared Stella, I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. I had just gotten out of a five-and-a-half-year relationship. I wasn’t in a place for us to be together. You were always going to be something serious to me. It was never going to be something casual. I wanted to spend forever with you, but there was no way I could’ve given you that at that time.” He calmly replies.

“So then what is she to you? Something casual? You chose to give everything to her but couldn’t give that to me?” I begin to cry as the words stumble off my lips.

“We’re not together anymore, Ell.” He says reaching for my hand.

“What? But you were in the store buying candy for her.” I cry.

“No, I wasn’t, I was buying chocolate for my niece.” He says as he gently squeezes my hand.

“Oh. I-I- I just assumed.” I stutter.

“It’s okay, I can see how it looked.” He laughs.

I laugh and look up at him. His eyes sincere, his smile familiar and his hand in my hand, comforting. He pulls me in to his arms again and holds onto me for what I want to be eternity.

“After all this time, I can’t help but feel the same way I did nine years ago, when I looked into your eyes for the first time.” He says wiping a tear off my cheek. “I want you Ell. I want to give this a real shot. I never thought I’d be given the chance again.”

I can’t help but begin to cry again, everything I have wanted is finally standing in front of me.

“Third times the charm?” I laugh.