It's stopped raining

Nobody will know what I’ve done. I know if I can just escape from the city, I will be safe. I climb into my car and press the start button, but nothing seems to happen. I sit there for what seems like an hour, starting at the steering wheel. My hands are clean – too clean. I feel numb. I feel scared. I can hear a dog barking in the distance, but I can’t stop starting at the steering wheel. Then, a new sound. I can’t place what the sound is, but it sounds familiar. It’s tapping on the glass – is someone trying to reach me? I can’t even seem to look up for a moment to look up and see.

Then, there’s a very loud noise! It startles me out of my steering wheel trance, and I look up to see rain pouring onto the car and the sky lit up. It must have been the rain I heard. The thunder must be the loud boom. I need to get out of here. I can’t stay here. How long have I been here? I feel the sudden urge to leave. I have to leave. But why do I have to leave? I feel I’ve done something I should be ashamed of, but what is it? What have I done?

Just drive.

My subconscious tells me, so I do. I drive through the pouring rain. It’s raining so hard I can’t see anything. The wipers are at full speed, but it seems to be getting harder every minute. I look down and see a number around 85 mph and realize I must be going too fast, but I keep going. I can see the lights; I know there are cars. Plus, who gives a shit if something happens to me, not after what I’ve done.

I round a corner and see lights coming straight for me. Maybe they know, maybe they know what I’ve done. I decide to not swerve, but to face them head on, just like I should what I’ve done. The car swerves at the last moment, and I see them spinning out of control. I keep going. I can’t look back. But then I hear it. I hear the crash, and I know I need to go back. But I can’t seem to turn around. Eventually, my fuel light comes on, and I pull into a station to fill up. I see an ambulance pass, and a police car and a fire truck. The rain is coming down so hard, and the wind is so strong, I get soaked trying to fill up the car. I go into the station and buy myself a bottle of wine – a screw top so I can open it now. I sit in the car, open the bottle, take a swig, and then watch another ambulance go by. I realize, I should go back.

I put the lid on the wine, then go back the way I came. When I get there, I see the car that swerved to miss me. It was upside down. I park the car and run through the pouring rain. There’s cones and flares on the road. The road is shut down in both directions. I run through the barriers and up to the car. Nobody seems to notice me, probably because of the rain.

As I run towards the car, I see something familiar. Do I know this car? It’s a blue Ford. It couldn’t be Tess’s car. It couldn’t be. I start running faster and finally a fireman stops me. He tells me I can’t go any further. Without thinking I say this is my daughter’s car and I need to get through. He allows it.

Then I see her.

Upside down, still in the car, eyes open, and blood dripping down her face.

Tess is dead.

I vomit in the street. Thankfully the rain will wash it away quickly. I decide to run again. I run back to my car. I get in, and I drive. I drive fast, and I drive away. Now, the rain is coming down harder, and my tears are streaming so fast, I can’t see the road at all. Eventually, I start to feel so tired. I see a motel sign and decide to pull over. It’s a shitty place with broken lights, and broken bottles in the parking lot. I know this must be a hooker motel, but I don’t care. I just need to rest.

I go into the lobby to check in, and a burly, black man comes out. He’s probably six foot five and weighs 300 pounds. I’m intimidated, but also just ready for sleep. “That’ll be 85 dollars.” I think to myself what a rip off, but I accept anyway. I go to my room, which is room 110, the room furthest from the lobby. I take off my wet clothes and crawl into the bed naked and fall right to sleep.

I’m dreaming of Tess and the blue car, when all of a sudden, I’m woken up by a terrible sound. I can’t place what it is, but it reminds me of the emergency vehicles. I immediately think the police have found me out and have come to arrest me. I start to panic. I find my clothes and put them back on. They’re still wet, and now they’re cold, and putting them on makes me feel like I will die from hypothermia. I walk outside, and then I see it.

Through the lighting, is something in the sky, in the distance, something that’s twisting – a twister, a tornado. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s massive, terrifying, yet beautiful. Everyone is running, but I don’t know where they’re running. The big black man from check in comes and grabs my arm and starts to pull me towards him. He tells me something about a shelter. I follow him, but I also am mesmerized by the storm. I don’t want to go. This is a moment I’ll never forget.

I point out another person who needs help, tell him I forgot something in my room, and I run back. I decide to hide on the side of the building, so I can watch the storm come. And comes it does, ripping telephone poles and trees in its path. I see explosions and fire every now and then as it gets closer.

I decide I should go for a swim. I’m already wet, it’s still raining, and the pool is empty. I take off all my clothes again and throw them over the chain link fence around the rectangular pool that’s in the center of the parking lot. I jump in and lie on my back. All the weight I’ve been carrying seems to fall off me into the weightlessness of the water. I close my eyes as rain pelts my face. It starts to get windier, and I know it’s close.

I saw a prayer of repentance. Not only did I kill Tess tonight, my stepdaughter who’s only three years younger than me, I killed her father too. When I came home from work, I caught him with someone else. I walked into his office, and she was on all fours sucking his dick. Without thinking, I grabbed his letter opener and stabbed him in the throat. She tried to run, but I chased her down. I was able to tackle her in the kitchen, where I grabbed a knife and stabbed in the neck. I didn’t wait around for either of them to die. I washed my hands six times to get the blood off, then I went and sat in the car. I knew if they didn’t come out, they must be dead, so I drove and left them to die.

The wind is getting stronger now, and I need to stand in the pool. I want to see it. I climb out of the pool and walk to the fence. It’s cold now. The wind is so strong my auburn hair is blowing all around my face. I try and hold it back, but the wind keeps whipping it around.  I think to myself how I deserve this. I deserve to feel this punishment. I hold out my arms wide, ready for the twister to take me, when, suddenly, the wind stops, and the sky goes quiet. The twister is just gone. It’s disappeared.

But the sounds are still surrounding me. I can hear sirens growing louder and louder. I close my eyes as they handcuff me and lead me into the patrol car completely naked. Someone throws a blanket around me. Someone reads me my rights, as I duck my head into the back seat. Finally, I open my eyes and see out. I look up to see a full moon shining so brightly, and I realize that it has stopped raining.