FACEBOOK

FACEBOOK

I went with my heart. My old heart. I chose to play Tyreek Hill instead of Jamison Williams. Dumb move. I bet against Detroit. I went for a Miami guy. No more. I’m so sorry Detroit. I hope Montgomery and Williams do wonderful. Even though…

Even though it’s my quarterback that is playing against the Lion’s. And when it comes to Mr. Mack Martin, he plays Jason. He is going to beat Jason. He has Lamar Jackson playing. Points.

Points, points.

Now…

Robby…

We will see. It’s been up and down.

So have the guys.

I think we are going to lose.

Somebody…

Prove me wrong.

Touchdown! 8:02 left in the fourth…

Player, hurt.

Surprise, surprise.

48-35 Buffalo.

Two-minute warning…

Detroit gave good effort, just not enough.

48-42

Buffalo.

Pause, pause…

Nice job Josh Allen.

49.28 points.

I am going to lose to Robby.

He has a couple Monday nighter’s going, so we won’t know until then.

But still.

Jason went to bed, right after the game. Amy may go in there tonight to sleep. It just depends on how tired she is. She lit some candles to make it smell ok in hopes, but she needs to turn on the heater a moment and finish up a few things. Things such as turning the lights down. Turn the tv, off. And pull out a puzzle. A green, sea turtle puzzle. It’s a puzzle that she got from her mother’s apartment. She had received it as a gift from Madison. It was on the Christmas that Amy was in Tucson. It seems like, forever ago. She can’t remember the year. I can remember it was the year Jason bought my bouncy thing for some reason. This was my first trip back to help out my mom with her cancer. In 2020.

Or maybe it was 2021.

Some year…

Anyway, the box had been opened, but the bag that the puzzle pieces came in had not. She started it late. She got the straights, separated from the middles. And she took out a lot of the yellows and oranges. Today she may begin to put it together.

Jason’s idea.

A good idea. It’s been many a moon since she has put a puzzle together.

Anything, to get me to stop writing.

She needs to go to the dentist today for her first fitting for whatever it is that she is having done. A denture, a partial, something or other. This has taken a long time. it’s getting closer.

She thinks that she needs to close her eyes for a while. Maybe. 7:13AM.

11:28AM

I did it. I actually went onto the bed and slept. Diamond came, too. I think she is having a hard time getting up on the bed. It’s a tall one with an extra layer other, mattress. She gets up.

Barely.

12:42PM

Dentist at two. And then go exercise possibly. I wish I knew what was happening at the dentist today. How long I am to be there, I do not know.

It was a quick in-out just to see if the partial fits right.

It does.

Now it has to go back in for, two teeth.

One for each side.

And then they went out to breakfast before exercising. Nothing like biscuits and gravy at 3 pm. She walked some of it off. At least 30 minutes of it. Before that we had to meet up with Logan at the storage unit. His car was full of apartment stuff and the only place for it…was our storage room.

Typical. But, ok.

The boys are now out of the apartment in Saline. That life experience is over.

Another chapter laid to rest.

Too bad Megan.

Speaking of…

I told Jason tonight that I am going to get on social media. The only problem is, is that I hate it.

What am I going to do???

Not Facebook. Not any of the social media platforms. (If that’s what they call them). None of it. Nope. I will be just fine on my own. Have at it, Jason. May you find whatever it is that you have been looking for. Or not.

Example…

Amy is looking to find something also.

It is in the pieces to a puzzle. A sea turtle, puzzle. A puzzle my mother got for X-mas the year I was down there. I remember. I remember everything about that Christmas.

Jason.

She got the puzzle from Madison.

She really knew her grandma.

3:45am.

I’m hungry. I’ve been hungry. I was hungry when I woke up. That was a few hours ago. Before Jason got up to shower for work, as a matter of fact. He’s gone. He should be at work by now.

Time to turn up the heater.

And wait for Logan to go to work. Start the laundry and pick up blankets.

Eat.

The normal stuff.

Heck…

I even put make-up on.

And I straightened out my hair to take the frizzies away.

Good to go.

Nowhere…

Lol.

Perfect.

It’s supposed to snow today anyways. Well, a quick shot of a rain and snow mix. There is nowhere that she needs to go to today. (A reminder) Maybe go exercise. Last time she was there she forgot her headphones. That made for a slow thirty minutes. She may have even cut time off.

She could hear Jason breathing.

And there were four little ladies pedaling on their bikes behind me having a good old conversation.

Today, she will not forget the headphones.

I guess we are planning on going to Florida. We haven’t really discussed it. We are taking it gingerly. There is still six more days. A lot can happen.

No.

I will not be typical. I am going to be different.

Okay.

Hmmm.

Positive waves man…

I play the first round of playoffs against Robby. As of now, we stand just about 50-50. It starts tomorrow and goes through till Monday night. Ya’ know…

My whole life as I remember it, Monday night was always MNF. That is all I know of Monday nights. Monday nights were always good nights. The beginning of the weeknights. Everybody goes back to work and school day, night. Tonight is Wednesday. Right smack dab, in the middle of the week.

I’m sick of it already.

I’m ready for Christmas. I’m ready for Florida.

A trip alone. Just, the two of us.

No kids.

No friends…

No dog.

Just me, Jason, satellite radio and cruise control.

I’m going to take the headphones just in case.

A good back up plan.

Anyway…

Today I don’t want to do much. Not much, at all. No exercise, no shopping, no driving. Unless Jason needs to go somewhere. Possibly the post office. There is a nice fur coat that needs to be exchanged. Too small. It was sized, as a small. 8-10. That is her size. For pants, and jeans. She likes her tops bigger and loose. Such as a coat that zips over, the boobs.

She had a whole catalog to look through.

A wonderful gesture from Rick.

Onto…

Today.

Today Amy planned to do nothing outside of the trailer.

But…

She has stuff to do, inside.

Yep.

We’ll see how long that lasts for.

She always wants to do something.

Fuck.

We have to drive to Fred’s to pick up the Jeep. We can go to the post office first. That scratches my plans to do nothing. Ya know Jason, I have written three books. Over 300,000 words. You refuse to read, one. Okay.

You tell me that I am bitter.

I am.

Just fucking go to bed.

I know it’s like two hours early, but…

Sometimes I would rather be dead.

Hey-hey.

Oh…

Omg...

It’s TNF!

Denver’s defense is going for Robby. That is it. A long weekend this weekend.

There is nothing else here. I have been looking.

I don’t know what it is that I am looking for.

Something...

By the way, Robby’s defense got him some points. This is the beginning of the semi-finals. The less points he gets, the better. Denver’s defense allowed him to get ten points.

A good start Robby.

Today is football day. It’s not a day to watch on tv, but a day to watch on the phone to keep track of the scores. Jason will turn on the sports when he gets up.

Five days.

40…

Plus, hours. A whole week, of nothing in the background. That is not until later tonight when he goes to bed. Early.

I want to go for a ride somewhere. But first I must pick up the trailer. And get dressed in a white and black striped sweater with funky colored tights.

When she was washing her face this morning, she was looking at the lines on her face. She wonders what others see. When Jason looks at her, what does he see?

Does he see me?

How???

What does he judge me by??

What does he respect me for?

I have no idea. And if I asked him, he wouldn’t know how to answer the question.

It’s because I am a miserable human being. I am not happy. Nothing makes me happy. Is he right?? Maybe.

Ok.

How do I become happy?

Let me count the ways…

Honesty.

Trust. Respect.

Love. Like.

Truth.

Maybe.

I don’t know what it is that I need.

Example.

Can you take any responsibility Jason?

Pause, pause, pause…dishes.

I need to write a letter to Dr. Suess. I can’t talk to him face to face because the words never come out right. I see no future. It took a few seconds to realize that I was utterly and completely lost.

Lost….

I can’t see past my fear. I’m scared because I see no future. Sure, I see tomorrow. It is just like today. Cold. All around.

Argue…

Tell Amy that she is delirious.

Argue.

Argue.

She is caught. She has been bouncing and slamming her head from side to side. Bounce, bounce, boom whack!

Hello reality.

Oh yah. Today is Sunday. A day for football. The Lion’s played on Thursday, so it is a Fantasy, Sunday. I’m playing Trevor this week. All I want is points today. points to get closer to Mack.

And of course she didn’t choose to play her Miami players. It was a rivalry game as far as Amy is concerned. Same division. Tyreek Hill and Tua both, would have given me major points.

Josh Allen did good work today.

He is more of a consistent player.

Example…

46.58 pts.

He is gonna get me over fifty, I bet.

Points...

C’mon, points.

Buffalo is playing the Rams. Aaron’s team. A high scoring game. I want the Ram’s to win, but I want Buffalo to score, score, score…

I should have bet somebody. Josh Allen did great. So did the Ram’s. They won the game.

44-42.

Thanks to Puka Nacua. A crazy amount, of points.

Points, points.

The reason I care about that so much is that Mack Martin has him on, his team. He’s the last person that needs any points. Amy really wants to catch him. She doesn’t even know who this Mack Martin is. I think he lives in the same area as Rod and Marcia.

Okay.

Dr. De Sousa.

Back to you. I feel better tonight than I have in a few days. Lol. Logan is gone and Jason is in bed if that says anything. And its Sunday, so that helps too.

Back to before…

I don’t play online. People ask for invites (Invite-invite), but I don’t accept them. (yep) I don’t play online. (Liar)

This is what I live with. I guess the only way is to let it go. I’m setting myself up for a fall. Am I unintentionally planning something? I’m always going to wonder…

So, she joins Facebook.

She hates it.

So…

She deletes Facebook.

She doesn’t know any other way to get out.

Unless I drive somewhere.

Fuck.

This is what I asked for.

Maybe.

94000...

94001…

I do have a new car.

Buffalo lost.

42-44.

What a game. I’m glad the Rams won. I’m also glad my quarterback did great! 67.88 points.

I totally beat Trevor. He has a 1% chance.

Sorry Trev.

All I care about right now is Mack. He is done for the week.

176.48.

Amy’s not. Not, yet.

155.28

Onto…

MNF.

6:50 am.

It’s cold and raining. Diamond needs a bath. Amy let her out this morning and she came in soaking wet. De ja vu...

SERIOUSLY.

Wow.

Yea.

Diamond smells like a wet dog. It’s definitely raining out. She can hear the rain from the inside. It’s pounding on the roof. It’s been pounding on the roof. Hopefully, it is like this when the light comes out for the day. Who knows. It doesn’t seem to rain much during the daylight hours.

Logan came out of the room dressed and ready for work. He will be leaving soon.

I can’t wait.

Tic...

9:47 AM.

Tock.

To be continued…