For Those Who Are (Not) in Love

Elizabeth settled beside her sister into the worn cushions of her best friend's couch. They exchanged a nervous glance.

Across the small living room sat their long-time friend, Kate, alongside a distant family friend of hers. In place of the usual chittering banter between the three young women, there was dense, uncomfortable silence. Elizabeth perched at the edge of the cushion, hands folded in her lap, staring at the square of sunlight that projected from the window onto the thick red carpet. Her sister, Emma, rested her head on a fist with her elbow on the couch's arm, and Kate sat cross-legged against the back cushions of the opposite couch, drawing invisible circles with a pointer finger on her knee.

The tense atmosphere was a result of him being there. He didn't get the memo about the change in arrival time for the family dinner, and he had been the first one to show up apart from Emma and Elizabeth, hours in advance.

Elizabeth and Emma had known him since childhood, as he was there for every family gathering of Kate's throughout the years. It wasn't until recent times that they had actually interacted all together. Just last week, the four of them came together after the birthday party of one of Kate's family members for a more than few drinks.

"Sooo. What's up with you guys?" Kate put out, attempting to break the thick silence. "Anything new since last week?"

"Nothing much," Elizabeth replied. She kept her eyes glued to the square of light on the floor.

"Same here," Emma seconded flatly.

More silence.

Kate leaned forward, sighing. "What about you, Noah?" She nudged. He sat with an ankle crossing his knee, leaning back with both hands behind his head.

His only response was a slight shrug of broad shoulders.

Then came heavier quiet, long and unbearable.

Elizabeth's leg began to bounce. She couldn't decide what to do with her hands; she rubbed her knees, picked her nails, and then twisted a strand of her brown hair before placing them back in her lap.

Emma and Kate sat still as statues. Noah pretended to watch the television. He, too, began bouncing a leg.

The clock struck six.

"Well... the others should be coming in a little while," Kate announced. "Are your parents on their way, Noah?"

He let out a long sigh from his nose. "They're leaving the house at six thirty, to get here at seven. The time we were actually supposed to be here."

"Right," Kate replied. "Sorry about the miscommunication. I thought they'd tell you the dinner was pushed back."

"I don't live with them anymore. They probably assumed I got the message on my own." He sat up, uncrossing his legs, and clasping his hands with his elbows rested on his knees. He shot a quick glance at Elizabeth.

She caught his eye that same moment, averting her attention just as swiftly as he had.

After another agonizing three minutes of uneasy silence, Emma huffed and sat up, unable to bear the discomfort.

"Is nobody going to say it?"

Noah went rigid. Elizabeth's face reddened as she, too, froze.

Kate lifted her chin; smiled deviously. "Say what?"

Emma and Kate shifted their attention between Noah and Elizabeth with bated breath.

Silence.

Emma just shook her head, scooting to the edge of her seat. "Okay, I have a fun idea. Let's go around the room sharing bits of gossip like us girls always do. Noah, feel inclined to butt in with anything you've heard. Or done," she hinted.

He had no response. He just eyed her stiffly from across the room.

"I'll go first," Emma continued. "I heard your aunt is expecting, Kate. Be sure to send her my congratulations."

"She'll be here at seven, you'll get to tell her yourself," Kate replied. "Definitely came as a surprise, though, considering she and Uncle Dave haven't been together that way in years..."

Emma feigned a shocked gasp. Elizabeth and Emma had known about this for weeks; It was the center of gossip around Kate's family and friends, including Noah. "Tea," Emma said, with fake excitement.

"Did you know about that, Noah?" Kate inquired.

"Uh. Yeah. Pretty sure everyone does." He rolled his eyes before he answered. It had been a topic of last week's drunken conversation between the four of them. "We all talked about it."

"Oh yeah! That's right, I almost forgot. Last week," Kate responded. She put extra emphasis on those last two words, jabbing Noah with a bony elbow. He threw a look at her, then at Emma, and ended on Elizabeth, whose eyes still burned a hole into the carpet.

More dreadful, awful silence.

On edge, Elizabeth began chewing on her nails. Her leg still shook up and down rapidly. Her face burned. Her heart pounded at two hundred beats per minute. She felt like she could implode right there on the couch at any moment.

"What else happened last week, Elizabeth?" The question came from Emma, who eyed Elizabeth expectantly.

Slowly, she turned her head toward Emma, keeping her eyes on the floor until the last minute. When her gaze finally landed on her sister, she smiled sarcastically.

"I don't recall, Emma."

Emma just tilted her head at her, shooting her a 'you-know-that's-bullsh*t' glare.

Elizabeth held her stare, that same smug smile still plastered on her face.

"I'm not surprised. You were pretty hammered, apparently," Noah butt in, unexpectedly.

Elizabeth whipped her head in his direction. "Apparent... What is that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

Kate and Emma shared anticipant looks. A half-smile tugged at the corner of Kate's mouth.

"Apparently," Noah began, "you were drunker than hell because apparently, you haven't felt the need to contact me since that night, because apparently, you don't remember what happened between us," he fumed.

Kate and Emma chimed in at the same time:

"Yep."

"There it is."

Elizabeth shot to her feet; her fists clenched at her sides.

"Well, 'apparently', Noah, you didn't get the memo that I'm in a relationship!"

"Well, 'apparently', Elizabeth," he raged, "you don't love him like you thought you did!"

Elizabeth tensed, cringing.

Emma held a hand to her mouth. Kate kept her head down; widened her eyes at the carpet.

Noah stared at her for a long moment. He took a deep breath.

"Isn't that what you told me?" His voice had softened considerably. "Or do you really not remember?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes, slowly un-balled her fists, and turned to sit back down next to Emma. She looked to her and Kate, who both immediately averted their eyes as if they weren't paying attention to the argument. She turned back to Noah.

"I remember."

She couldn't bring herself to make eye contact for too long; she shifted her gaze back to that sunspot on the carpet. There was one last long, drawn-out silence before Noah pushed farther.

"So," he said slowly, gently, "I don't see why it matters. You could have just let me know what's going on instead of leaving me hanging like that. That's all."

Elizabeth shook her head, embarrassed. "I can't have you in my phone. He's all around me, all the time. I don't want him to find out."

"That's why it doesn't matter, Elizabeth. You obviously don't belong with him." Noah's voice was almost a whisper as he looked at her with soft, sad eyes. "I don't understand why you're scared of him finding out or leaving. You don't love him, you told me that yourself."

"So, what? You think I belong with you? That's not for you to decide."

"Well, you can't seem to decide for yourself," Noah retorted harshly.

The air hung heavy in a tense, tense atmosphere. Emma shook her head. Kate sat uncomfortably still in the deafening silence.

Elizabeth just glared at him with red-rimmed eyes. Noah's own went soft again.

"Either way, that's not what I meant," he continued. He moved his eyes to the same spot on the floor as Elizabeth had stared at previously. "Just...do whatever makes you happy." The last word choked off; his face went red.

For a few more minutes, that roaring silence ensued, until Noah slapped his knees, stood up, and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Kate asked. "Dinner starts in an hour."

"I'm just going to skip out on this one, Kate..." He shrugged on his coat; slid on his shoes.

Elizabeth leaned forward, attentive.

"Oh, come on, Noah," Kate pleaded.

Noah gave her a short look before he turned to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth felt a tug in her chest as she met his gaze.

Noah broke the stare; his eyes landed on the doorknob. He shook his head. Chuckled.

"Give your aunt my congratulations on the pregnancy, Kate." And with that, he trudged out the door.