If You Stop You'll DIE!!!

Submitted into Contest #37 in response to: Write a story that takes place in the woods.... view prompt

3 comments

Mystery

I was running. I was going as fast as I my legs could carry me, he was gaining on me. "Stop!" he yelled as he pulled on a mask.


That morning. "Ellie Anderson" said the teacher quietly to the class. "Here" Ellie replied a bit louder. It was Ellie's first day of her senor year of high school. she was wearing her favorite green shirt with some black pant and a pair of sneakers. Her teachers name was Miss Norman she was a tall plump woman at age 63 Miss Norman had a very short black haircut and was a very sweet teacher she was wearing a long dress with a ton of flowers on it. Ellie on the other hand had long brown hair that reached down to the middle of her back. Ellie's first class was math, Ellie turned her head and found a man outside in the wood looking at her through the window in a blink he was gone. The man had dirty blond hair with specks of dirt in it his hair was down to his shoulders. His eyes were a vivid blue color, he had one long eyebrow that was brown. the man had no shoes a shirt that looked like a rag and some brown pants.


When math ended I looked outside of the window to find not a trace of the man. it was strange our school was 10 miles away from were I lived, it was in the huge wood that stretched for many miles past the school. After checking through the window one last time I went and caught up with my best friend Betty Summers. She came up to me and screamed "YAHOO the first day of our senor year." I smiled back at her and asked her if she had seen anything strange. She replied with a no. Next on my scheduled was art. I entered the room and saw the colorfully decorated room. I looked out the window and the same thing happened I looked out the window and there he was staring at me, I made sure my eyes were open longer so I wouldn't miss him leaving. And I just saw him run off. For all my next classes I made sure to look out the window but I didn't see him any were else for the rest of the day.


As I was exiting the school the man I saw through the window pulled me aside and covered my mouth. later I woke up in a little cottage with moss growing everywhere there was a rusty bed in the right corner, and a stove by the door. I look up and see the man. He whispered so quietly I could barley hear "You know to much kid." He was coming at me with a rope as I realized I wasn't tied up so I jumped up and sprinted for the door. As I ran outside I could barley see the sun was almost setting. I had very little time to do anything, and I didn't even know where I was.


I was running. I was going as fast as my legs could carry me, he was gaining on me. "Stop" he yelled as he pulled on a mask. I was crashing through the lush wilderness as I turned around and this time the man had a huge chainsaw that he was holding in front of him chopping down tree by tree. that got me thinking how powerful that chainsaw must be to chop down such big trees with ease. I turned back to face forward I had to jump over a huge log. I started to dial in 911 on my new phone I got for my birthday. I took a big step and fell on my face because I stepped right in front of a snake and tripped. Now there was a creep and a snake after me.


I start to think about that this could be my last day living. I think of my dog, friends, and family. I must keep moving I tell myself before I can even keep thinking my brain tells my body to start scooting on the dirt even though the pine needles hurt scraping against my body

That's when I hear my phone say "Hello this is the police whats your emergency?" I scream into the phone telling them how a man kidnapped me and took him to his little cabin. Telling me I know to much and then casing me wearing a mask and carrying a chainsaw. they replied with an "okay I'll try and get a team out to you."


Next thing I know I wake up, this time in a hospital bed. I hear my mom whispered "how'd you get near that murderer." I sit up and answered by saying "He grabbed me we I was leaving school, and I didn't know there was a murderer around here" my mom looked at me "that's because we didn't tell you honey" I looked at her and asked why she and dad didn't tell me. "we didn't want you to have any more stress because I know first days are stressful." my mom said in a genital voice.


Anyway what am I doing in a hospital bed a position snake bite you right as the police arrived. The nurses have almost taken out all the venom. A nurse walked into the room "hi my name is Mary and I will be extracting the rest of the venom." said nurse Mary. Mary reached into her pocket and pulled out a needle. "hold still" said Mary. she stuck the needle into to bite marks in my leg and pulled out the rest of the venom.


When I went back to school Betty was going crazy asking me all sorts of questions like, "on a scale of one to ten how scary was it." and I would reply with something like "deferentially a ten it was freaky scary." after that I tried to be more fit so nothing like that would ever happen again.

April 11, 2020 02:51

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3 comments

Cam Croz
02:56 Apr 11, 2020

heres a comment. nice story.

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Hayden Quinn
15:29 Apr 19, 2020

Hi Callie, this is an interesting story, you have a great imagination. I noticed some little things that could be improved with better proof-reading, such as the point of view and the tense changing throughout and the dialogue not being separated from the rest of the writing. There are some words that seem to have autocorrected too, so just make sure to give stories a thorough read-through.

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Callie C.
02:53 Apr 11, 2020

I am want a comment

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