Desolation: Jenny's Story

Warning: themes of death, blood, mental health, and sadness.

Based off of a true story

Jennifer was exhausted. Her mood was one of melancholy, swallowing her whole. She didn’t understand why she woke up again. Every day was the same, the copious amounts of homework that piled up every time she thought it would be the end and the constant yelling of her teachers.

"Why are we still here? Just to suffer?"

She slaved over her English project that was worth 45% of her final mark for over 72 hours. She hadn't eaten, slept or seen the light of day for what seemed like an eternity. Jennifer shifted her gaze towards the window, the dark blue engulfing the skies. It seemed late. She had lost track of time, trapped in the office which closed in on her like a cage. Her sadness was eating her, drowning her in the vast seas.

It was due that night at 11:59. At the moment, it was 11:58. Tick tock, went the cuckoo clock. Her fingers hurriedly typed the last few lines, the clacking of the keyboard echoed loudly. Her fingers ached, they felt like they were about to fly off, but she didn’t care: she was getting this thing in on time.

She looked over to her clock. It said 11:59. Just in time! She slowly maneuvered her mouse towards the blue button that said "submit." The click of the mouse sounded throughout the room as she closed her eyes and sighed in relief. Jennifer felt accomplished and proud, a bit sad even, but now she was free. She looked around: the metallic blood spread across the keyboard from her tired fingers; a puddle of sour bile mixed in with chunks of food. She could once again see the light of day, enjoy the world as she was supposed to–as she wanted to. 

Her eyes fluttered open, her smile still fresh on her face but what greeted her was not a sight to be expected. The crimson letters printed out on the screen made her smile drop, practically stabbing her in the gut.

No- That can’t be-!

 She let out a shrill, the whole world must've been shook. She fell to her knees, feeling helpless, destroyed, ruined. The thing that she devoted, what seemed like her life to… was all that work worth it?. 

"TURNED IN LATE??!!!?!?!?!?!?!?"

She slowly lifted her head to look at the time. It read 12:00 am. Her head started to swirl, like she was on a boat sailing through a brutal storm. 

“There’s no way..” She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. The world seemed to stop rotating. Three full days of her life thrown straight into a dumpster. Black dots started to cloud her vision and the only sound she could hear were her own sobs. 

She instantly collapsed. Her cold and heavy body hit the wooden floor, finally succumbing to the stress. 

Suddenly, she started to feel a sensation of warmth spread throughout her body, from the crown of her head to the arches in her feet. Finally, the moment of relaxation she yearned for.

                              ***

Tonight, she dreamed. 

Usually, she would fall into the cold embrace of a nightmare. She would wake up drenched in cold sweat and tears, panting and struggling to breathe. 

This time, it was different. Quite different. She felt like she was seven again, happy and free. Sprinting and dancing through a park while her parents chuckled at her antics. 

Dhar Mann approached her in her dream. He looked like an angel, his halo glowing like no other, perhaps a beacon of hope in her dark sea of doom. He gently put his hand on her rosy, tear streamed cheeks.

He slowly wrapped his strong muscular arms around her, as he engulfed her into a tight hug. He pressed a few light kisses onto her forehead as tears started to roll down his cheeks too.

“It’ll be alright, Jennifer.” He muttered, blubbering, “It’ll be alright”

 She sobbed into his shoulder. The tears just wouldn’t stop. The floodgates were open, never to be closed again. He tightened his hold around her and delicately patted her head, like he was trying to take away her pain. At this point, his angel robe was damp, like a child’s clothes after they run through a splash pad. 

"Jennifer...sometimes the best way to be truly happy is to just let go and see what comes next. You don’t need to overthink, just put your faith in God’s hands and it will all work out.” He spoke softly, voice saccharine sweet. The twinkle in his eyes made Jennifer believe that he meant it. That what he said, at last, was true.

His voice was sweet like honey and he started to sing offkey 867-5309 / Jenny by Tommy Tutone, her favorite song. 

"Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to?

You give me something I can hold on to

I know you'll think I'm like the others before

Who saw your name and number on the wall..."

A wide grin spread across her red swollen face, but only momentarily and everything blacked out. The sadness was taking over. Slowly, she was getting eaten away, and it became harder to fight back. Short lived happiness couldn’t save her. Her heartache was rooted much too deep.

"Dhar Mann!" She screamed as she bawled horrendously, "Please save me from this indescribable anguish!!" “Alas, my emotions are uncontrollable, untamable, wild beasts inside me, parasites! Have I, a weak, overworked girl, surrendered to it all?” Her hands started to turn a pale blue as her blues started to envelop her. A numbness, yet freezing feeling creeped over her. She saw a moving pendulum of a grandfather clock, and felt as if she was being hypnotized… Then suddenly it all became dark, permanently, her limp body slumped over. She gave it all she could, but it wasn’t good enough. Cold sweat broke out on her body. 

She woke up dead the next day. Dhar Mann had listened to her wishes, and taken her to heaven, where she could finally rest and live her dreams.

“Be proud of yourself, even if your biggest accomplishment this week was simply fighting back your anxiety or depression.” Dhar Mann whispered, her frigid body draped across his arms as he carried her into a bed, where she could be laid to rest. 

May she r.i.p, and finally get to hear Dhar Mann sing the rest of the song.

“Eight six seven five three oh nine (five three oh nine)

Eight six seven five three oh nine (five three oh nine)

Eight six seven five three oh nine (five three oh nine)”

The end.