Once upon a time, there was an ugly and foolish princess. Yes, she is the main character of this story, she can be ugly and foolish if I want to. I'm the narrator. She loved animals and cared for them but the animals would not go near her because of her face. Her father was a king so he was very rich, so he would buy her the prettiest dresses and shoes, but that did not matter to her. She just wanted a beautiful face. She hated her ugly tangled black hair and hated her ugly face filled with scars and burns from when she accidentally fell into the fireplace 10 years ago. One day she was laying in the grass in her home watching the birds fall from the surprise on seeing her face, she felt someone sit down beside her. She looked up and saw an old lady who was just as ugly as her sitting beside her. "Hello, you seem sad. What is your wish?" the old lady asked with a surprisingly smooth voice. "Yes, I am sad and I wish to be pretty." replied the ugly princess. "Of course," said the old lady. "I will grant you this wish if you do exactly as I say." "Oh, yes please." "Every day for a month you will dip your face in the fountain over there. You can't miss a day and do not put any other body part in the fountain. If you do not follow my instructions you and your descendants will be uglier and uglier. Nothing, not even plastic surgery will be able to cure it." With that, she was gone. 'Darn.' thought the ugly princess. 'I should have done plastic surgery. But, too late now, I will do as that ugly old lady says.' She did not even bother to thank the lady and went on her way. The next few days she did as she was told but then she got lazy. She skipped some days and sometimes put her hands in. She only went when it was convenient to he. After the month was finished she became the ugliest person in the world. (Yes it was recorded in the World Record Book.) After a while, the only person who was willing to marry her was the ugliest man in the world. (Again, it was recorded.) They had three children one uglier than the next. One day when the oldest was 16 she was crying in the yard of her parent's castle, the little old lady went to her. "Hello, you seem sad. What is your wish?" asked the ugly lady. "Yes, I am sad and a wish to be pretty." said the oldest princess in a rude voice. "Of course," said the old lady. "I will grant you this wish if you do exactly as I say." "Yes, just hurry up. I don't want to be pretty forever, you crusty dusty dinosaur." the oldest sister rolled her eyes. "Never mind," replied the old lady gracefully. She turned into the most beautiful young woman the oldest daughter has ever seen. "Oh, I am sorry," the oldest said. "Goodbye. I hope your other sisters aren't like you, who only are nice if the person they are talking to are beautiful." she walked off and the oldest began crying again, not because of her stupidity but because she continued to have an ugly face. The next day the middle sister was crying in the yard. The beautiful lady in the form of the ugly one approached the middle daughter. The two had the same conversation as the older one did yesterday and the middle sister ended up crying again because the old lady left with her having an ugly face. The day after that the youngest, the ugliest one of them all was weeping in the garden because she had been bullied by her classmates. "Hello, you seem sad. What is your wish?" asked the old lady, appearing in her original form as the ugly lady. "Yes, I am sad and a wish to be pretty." the youngest told her. The old lady was delighted that she had been polite so she went on. "Of course," said the old lady. "I will grant you this wish if you do exactly as I say." "Oh, yes please." the princess said. "Every day for a month you will dip your face in the fountain over there. You can't miss a day and do not put another part of your body in the fountain. If you do not follow my instructions you and your descendants will be uglier and uglier. Nothing, even plastic surgery will be able to cure it." With that, she was gone. "I am so glad I have a chance to be pretty!" said the youngest princess. She did exactly as she was told and became the most beautiful lady on earth. (She's in the World Record Book.) Many years had past and she had been searching for the little old lady for her kindness. She heard from one of the villagers that she was not an ugly old lady, neither a pretty one either, but a handsome young shapeshifter that could do magic. She sent him a letter saying:
Dear Shapeshifter,
You helped me in times of need. You saw me when I was ugly and you helped me. You tried to help my sisters but they failed. I invite you to come to my castle so I can repay you with anything you would like. I would like to personally thank you for your kindness. My castle is just south of the border and left of the pawnshop. So right, left, left- oh wait never mind, you know where I live.
Sincerely,
The youngest princess.
(Yes that is her name.)
After waiting for six months the princess finally got her answer.
Dear Youngest princess,
My name is Alfred and as I would not like to receive anything, I will come over. I am sorry if you feel offended that I did not help your sisters, they were, in fact, rude. I will come in two days.
Sincerely,
Alfred.
While the youngest and most beautiful princess is waiting for the arrival of Alfred, she pays for her sisters plastic surgery.
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3 comments
I was hooked straight away! What a great original fairy tale. I think some paragraph breaks would be great, and maybe a smoother transition towards the ending, which I think rushed the reader just a tiny bit. Nice job!
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Thanks for the input!
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I found it quite funny how you immediately asserted yourself to the reader, it was a really good hook to engage them to the story! In terms of editing, your paragraphs could be broken up a bit more as it was a bit difficult to read
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