A State of Mind

"Where even are we?" 

"What?"

"Where are we?"

"Well, I could tell you that we're in my bed. We're in my room, in my house. Either an alien abducted your memories and you truly don't know where we are, or you're asking a different question."

"I think you answered a different question."

"What the- I knew it. You're asking me something else completely."

"I meant where, Tubal, not what. Not what we're lying in or what room we're in."

"Let me guess, and who's house it is?"

"You're mocking me."

"I guess my house can technically be a who and a what. But it's also a where, that's my point." 

"Ah, perspective."

"Well then, in terms of your perspective, where do you think we are?" 

"I think in terms of perspective, you Tubal and I are in completely different places. You're lying in a bed in a room in a house, and I'm just… in my mind. In fact, I don't even see this house differently than your neighbour's house or his neighbour's house. Even if it were my house, it's no different. It's not really the what or the possession of what that differentiates where we are. At least to me. Perspective, right? I'm just, in my mind. That's where I am."

"Doesn't that mean you're in the same place then, all the time?... Hello?"

"See, just then, when my eyes were closed. I was in Schenectady, New York. It was after the April showers that brought the May flowers in the heart of Spring."

"Then, what? You opened your eyes and suddenly you're in Minneapolis? January towers brought, uh, February glowers?"

"Very creative, did you make that up yourself?"

"Yup, from my very own personal experience."

"Do you mind if I tell you a little story?"

"What, is it a dream you had?"

"Sort of. It was a long time ago, so it feels like it could have been some dream."

"Should I get some popcorn?"

"No, no, it's definitely not a good enough story for popcorn. I just want you to see where I'm coming from."

"Tell me then, where are you coming from??

"Well, one day, when I was a little girl, I was running through a field of bright yellow flowers. It was… the most pleasant place I knew. It was home."

"Uh oh."

"As I was running, I brought my eyes up to the bright blue sky and stared directly into the sun. It kind of hurt, and when I looked back down at the field of flowers, they were no longer yellow. I was running through a field of green, black and-"

"Why, because the sun made you temporarily blind?"

"Because vision itself exists when our retinas suck in light. Vision itself is just light being processed through a bunch of cells and nerves that our brains turn into pictures. And nothing on this earth is as bright as the sun. Not even the bright yellow flowers."

"I guess compared to the sun, everything else is just black."

"Yes, black. And green, and-"

"What about those huge LED lights they put in football stadiums? Those are bright."

"If you want to bring one of those to outer space and fly back to earth to test your theory, be my guest. But I'm pretty sure the enormous ball of fire in the sky is brighter than any man-made shit."

"God was a man."

"Technically no, he- they- ugh, ANYWAYS, when I looked back at the field of flowers, they were green, black and red for some reason. Keep in mind I was little and didn't know how vision worked, so I kept wondering why the flowers were turning weird colours. I was wondering why the field looked like it was bruising. I was probably too little to even think of that word, bruising. But the field, it reminded me of what my legs looked like when I had fallen off my bicycle. The green and black of the swelling. The red of the blood dripping from the scrapes on my knees."

"So what, you thought the field was freakin' bleeding?"

"I know you're laughing, but yes. And at the time it was really scary. I thought because I was running through the field and crushing the flowers, they were bruised and bleeding. Because of me."

"That is so stupid." 

"Maybe. But because I believed so, it felt real. So it was real in a way. And I stopped running. I dug my bare feet underneath the stems so I was no longer standing on any flowers. I squeezed my eyes shut and gave the flowers my empathy and sympathy… Then, guess what?"

"The flowers forgave you and wiped your tears with their soft buttery petals?"

"Sort of. When I opened my eyes, they were bright yellow again. They were no longer bleeding, in my mind, because I was no longer stepping on them." 

"Jeez, that's a harsh non-real reality for a child. So could you no longer eat your vegetables or something?" 

"My grandfather taught me about the circle of life and humans being at the top of the food chain or something. He also gave me a little science lesson about flowers not being able to bleed."

"I was joking. You're something else, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm something else and you're missing the point. Do you even remember your question?"

"Which one?"

"Ugh. You asked me if I'm always in the same place because I'm always in my mind. And the answer is no. The field went from being my home to my sort of Panzerkampf in the legitimate blink of an eye. And I was Hitler." 

"Maybe that's because it was your happy place in the beginning of the story, you know, only thinking about the sky and flowers. If I recall correctly, it was when you let your mind take over it became your Panzerkampf."

"Maybe." 

"So, back to the original question. Where are we?" 

"Now? You Tubal and I, are both in our minds."

"You just had to take me with, didn't you?"

"Of course. If you weren't with me, I wouldn't be home."