A Peaceful Christmas

Lonely! Alone! Tired! Those are the three words that I am sure will describe this Christmas. I couldn't afford to fly home this Christmas, and my family couldn't fly here. To make things worse, my close friends are all flying home to see their families, so we can't do anything together. I am happy for them, but right now, I just want to feel bad for myself - petty, to be sure, but what can I say.

Well, although I am all alone in this small apartment for Christmas, I should still try to make the best of it . . . even if I will have to try really, really hard.

Christmas isn't until tomorrow; today is Christmas Eve. I decidedly ascertain that I will clean my whole apartment up tonight - not that it was messy, but it needed to be redone on the surface - if you know what I mean - and tomorrow I will just relax and find something special to do. I should have decided this sooner, but I have been avoiding it, trying not to acknowledge that things wouldn't be going my way.

~~~

First thing, I straighten up and make sure that everything is in its designated place. Next, I decide to dust and then wipe down all the surfaces, assuring that there is no grime anywhere. I begin to get tired, so I decide to turn on some music to liven things up a bit. Bing Crosby's Christmas CD goes in the machine and then starts blaring in cheerful strains around the room. That's better. Now I am getting happy and starting to enjoy myself. Maybe this Christmas won't be too bad after all. New hope arises in me for this as I begin to dance around in circles while I clean. Well, I'm not really dancing anything in particular, just something that I made up.

~~~

It's nearing evening now, and I am starting to be okay with being alone this Christmas. Without a doubt, I will definitely miss being with everyone in my family, but at the same time, I don't have to be a Scrooge about it. I get to spend the whole day with Arora - my cat - and Jesus. Jesus is the "reason for the season," as is always said this time of year, and I should never not let Him be my focus at this time of the year. He should be my focus all year round and I shouldn't have forgotten that. Not only that, but I should also talk to God about it and get a reset, so to speak. I sit back down and talk it all out with Him -- all my thoughts, joys, disappointments, and how I want to trust Him and stop trying to go at this on my own. When it's all said and done, I get up refreshed and at peace. It's amazing how a good talk with God does that to me!

I get up, eyes moist with tears, and decide to make an early retirement to bed and then an early rise to a lovely Christmas day.

~~~

First things first! I will read the book of Luke all the way through and then call my family to catch up with them while I am sure that they will be home. Hopefully, I won’t catch them in the middle of eating.

I give Arora a scoop of food and then sit on my fluffy chair and pull out my Bible. Arora jumps up and makes herself comfortable on my lap, snuggling under my elevated Bible. As we sit listening to the clock and listening to my voice reading Luke, I hear Arora start to purr in pure contentment. That's one of the best sounds in the world! The sound of contentment without a care. I pause and relish her purr before continuing Luke. How peaceful it is today, far different from what I had expected in my grumpiness only days before.

Ring! Ring! I look at the caller ID, it’s my family’s landline. I answer immediately.

“Hello!”

“Hi dear! Merry Christmas! How has your day been going so far?” calls my mom from the other side of the line. She always thought that the person on the other end couldn’t hear unless you yelled at the phone. I have secretly thought that it’s hilarious when she does it, but I will never tell her that. She is too proud that she discovered this when no one else has.

“Merry Christmas! It’s so good to hear from you. I was going to call you in a bit. So far, I have had a great day: snuggling Arora and reading through Luke. What have you been up to?” I pet Arora again – still relishing her purr.

“That’s lovely, dear, I’m so glad to hear it! Well, your dad and I slept in, and then we made breakfast. Your siblings should be here shortly. Other than you, we are all going to spend the day together: opening gifts, eating, playing games, and just hanging out.” There is a muffled voice in the background, but I can’t hear what it said.

“Hum . . . what did you say, Mom?”

“Oh, sorry, that was your dad; he wants to say hi before your siblings get here. Here he is.” I hear a lot of noise as the phone is passed between my parents.

“Hey, honey! How are you doing? The speaker was on, so I heard that you are having a relaxing day so far,” my dad asks in a very cheerful voice.

“Hi, Dad. I am doing great! I have been a little down about not getting to come see you for Christmas, but yesterday, I had a reset with God, and now I am doing okay with it. I miss you and can’t wait to finish up this writing course next semester, and then I can move home again. Because of the course, I already have a novel and a half written, and in March, there is a conference where I am going to pitch my first book to a publisher.”

“That’s great, honey! I am so excited for you. I am positive that you will knock all those publisher’s socks off. They will love you and your novel,” my dad says encouragingly.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Oh, Laura just got here. I’ll call you later. Love you, Sweetie! Bye!”

“Love you! Bye!” Click.

I’m back to the silence of the room. The only noise is the clock and Arora’s purring. I decide to finish up reading Luke and then put my breakfast in the oven.

~~~

I slide my prepared egg casserole into the oven and then put my Bing Crosby Christmas CD into the machine and push play. As the music begins to play, I start dancing around the room again. What a fun thing to do when no one else is around to see me.

Bling! Bling! The oven timer goes off. I run over to the oven to check the eggs. They are done, so I dish some up and sit down at the table to eat. How delicious! I would never regret the decision to make myself this holiday egg casserole, just as we always did while I was growing up.

“Isn’t this great, Arora?” I say between mouthfuls, knowing full well that I wouldn’t get a verbal response.

Arora purrs and rubs her body up against the leg of my chair. I reach down and rub her back.

~~~

After I finish my breakfast, I decide to read the book that I am currently reading, What if We Meet in a Book Store? by Callie McLay.

I am completely drawn into it until I am brought out of my concentration by the clock bonging two o’clock. I completely missed lunch. Oops. I decide to heat some leftover eggs and then rejoin the book again for the rest of the afternoon. I know that I could easily get swept away in the book for hours, but I’m not worried. That’s one of the best places to be – in a book. While I’m up, I grab a cup of tea before heading back to my puffy chair.

~~~

At exactly 7 p.m. I stand up and stretch. The book is finished. I set the book down on the side table and walk over to my tiny tree. Now is the time to open the gift that my parents sent and the few other gifts that my friends had left me before heading to their various homes.

When I am all done, I carry my haul to my bedroom and put the various things in their new spots. Keeping out some of the new yarn and, grabbing a hook to start on a project, and listen to some more Christmas music. The room is warm with light when I walk back into the living room. I change my mind, pop in the movie White Christmas, and sit in my chair again. I pull my legs up onto the chair and start crocheting while the TV kicks on and the movie begins to play. This is one of my favorite Christmas movies. I sit back and relax.

~~~

The movie is done; I go and put some fluffy pajamas on before crawling into bed. Christmas times is truly one of the best times of the year.