Thanksgiving

“Hey Joe, it’s me Mike. So do I still bring the wine for next week?”

“Sure” Joe had paused while staring at the naked white wall in his living room with his phone “Will be great to see you again.”

“All right great… Listen I just had to ask you know. I didn’t want to bring this back up, I feel things have changed since your father… you know” Mike said while struggling to find words to fill in the awkward silence “Would be weird to bring wine without asking, didn’t want to look I’m celebrating his departure”

“No no, it’s fine”  , Joe said while collecting strength to finished the rest of the sentence, “People come and go, but the show must go on! That’s what he wanted anyways” said Joe while faking a positive mood

“Good to hear that… Well I hope you are doing fine buddy, we will talk later anyway… Cya Joe”

“Cya Mike”

As he hung up his phone, Joe continued to stare at his wall, still naked of any paintings, decorations or any sign of life. His brain was spacing out and without knowing what to do, he went to his wooden cabinet and opened up the drawer searching for the half emptied whiskey bottle that he was mindlessly savoring for the past few days. After filling up his glass he sat down in his father’s armchair wondering when it would the pain would be over, or at least less painful.

“Traditions must go on” He whispered to himself as he stretched his body in this empty lifeless house.

His phone rang up again. It was his sister.

“Shit, she couldn’t have picked a better time” Joe muttered to himself while holding his glass of whiskey and collecting himself to talk to her

“Hey Rose, I talked to Mike already”

“I know that, listen are you alright?”

“Yep”

“Are you sure? We were thinking about bringing back the kids there again you know”

“You can bring them its fine” Joe paused “I’m sorry, what happened last year was my fault”

Rose took a long breath before talking again: “At least you are apologizing now. Listen, I don’t want to argue anymore with you” She paused “ It has been tough for everyone, not only you, I know you adored him but you have to move on, that’s what he wanted. Please, if not for me, do it for your nephews at least”

“Alright”

“Just promise you will behave this time”

“I will. Bye” he hung up before giving a chance for his sister to say goodbye.

He finished his drink in one go and after adjusting to the mild shock that the alcohol had on his mind, he got up and went straight to his room. Even feeling the alcohol going through his bloodstream, his anxiety was increasing, he knew that didn’t had much time left before old wounds were about to be opened. One week until Thanksgiving. One week for good ol’ Joe get back on his feet and just lie to everyone until the next time.

He sat down at the white desk that was against the wall and has he stared at the computer he tried to write one more word, one more line, one more paragraph but nothing would come up. He struggled to find sense in his writing and it all just seemed a waste of time.

Not just his writing but since his father had died, Joe stopped living. Even getting out of bed was a struggle and most times he would lay down and just stare at the ceiling, wondering when would be his time. He wasn’t bored or regretful of his inactivity since he was now living alone and his father’s room was still untouched since his passing, but he knew that at Thanksgiving he wouldn’t have the same luck.

“You know what, fuck this” Said Joe to himself as he shut down his computer “I will have more time tomorrow”

As he moved away from the desk he laid down in his bed, unable to sleep, thinking about all the cleaning he had to do but kept on delaying. Dishes overflowing the sink, baskets full of dirty laundry and dust collecting everywhere, he would have to do this not because he really wanted to, but because the fear of his sister’s questions and judgment was the biggest punishment for him.

As the days passed and his inactivity persisted, Joe realized he only had one day to do everything. That was the way he was, delaying every small worry until it was a big and urgent silent alarm in his mind. He woke up late, since he had not much time he dialed the number he had saved on his phone as “cleaning” and in a few minutes he had scheduled some cleaning service for his place later. Now onto the food, the turkey was already bought and he just had to put it in the oven tomorrow and the to-do list was done.

Joe still felt he was missing something but he decided to go for a walk outside, it has been to long since he stepped outside and his mind was buzzing with his constant inner voice nagging.

He got dressed up and put on his black jacket, leather boots and started to walk outside. He saw his usual coffee shop, the one who he would spend most of his days and decided to go there and order his usual.

The coffee shop was almost empty only a young waitress with a timid face was cleaning the counter with a wet rag while having a bored expression. Her eyes turned towards Joe and she asked him:

“Hello there what is it going to be”

“ Huh, I can have a black coffee please” Joe said

“Anything else?” said the waitress

“If you had a full cooked turkey would be great” Joe said in a humoristic tone

The waitress looked at him in confusion, as it was usual with Joe, most of his interactions consisted in terrible jokes and an awkward silence that would follow. While ignoring his question the waitress would continue with her monologue:

“That will be 1,99$”

“There you go”

Embarrassed by  recent conversation, Joe waited patiently and once he got his paper cup with black coffee and he left.

He decided to go back to his place and stare at his computer again while writing uninspiring sentences, waiting for the big day.

Next day he woke up, and his phone already had 5 missed calls. It was 9 am and his sister Mary called once again. Joe picked up the phone that was silently vibrating and answered the call.

“Why don’t you pick up your fucking phone?” Rose said

“Hey what’s going on? Everything fine? I was sleeping”

“Well we are almost there, I guess I need to help you with everything as usual”

“You don’t actually, house is cleaned, I bought the turkey and everything is set up”

Rose stopped in silence “ Wow for once you are being useful”

“Well if you’re going this early I will get ready now”

“Sure, well see you later” She hung up

Joe decided to get dressed, get a hot cup of coffee ready and put the turkey in the oven.

When they arrived, Joe looked at them with some nostalgia and greeted Mike first who also gave him a big smile while Courtney and Trent, Rose’s and Mike’s kids, sneakily went to the living room and decided to sit on the leather couch and  watch on their Ipad for the majority of the day. Rose greeted him with her usual sarcasm, and after the greetings were done, they wined and dined in the same wooden table where they had many family dinners. Stories from the past flowed, mostly the embarrassing ones about Rose’s childhood told by Joe. How she lost her first tooth thinking she was dying, how she started her first lemonade selling business but did not have the budget for lemons. Mike devoured the turkey when he could, only stopped to laugh contagiously when he heard the stories he didn’t know or by Rose slapping his arm to warn him to slow down on the food. The kids barely ate and just mostly stared at the adults.

Rose then said with a mix of disappointment and sadness “Joe, why can’t you be like this all the time”

“What do you mean?”

“Since you got here, you have pleasant and did not cause any issues at all like last year. Are you dying”

“I don’t know, I don’t think I am but if I will die I will let you know” said Joe smiling

Rose stared at him annoyed with his usual attempt of humor “Well anyway… I know we promised no gifts, but I got you this” She handed him a book

Joe looked at the book which had the title of his latest sci-fi novel “Well I’m sure you know this but I have the books I write saved on my computer or my house”

“Open up you dummy, it’s from Dad’s, he told me to give to you 1 year after his passing”

“From Dad’s? He never read anything besides car magazines”

“Just open up Jesus, can’t I do anything nice for you once”

When he opened up a picture was there. It was the four of them. Mom, Dad, Joe and Rose all smiling while sitting in the white floating deck along with their fishing rods. Memories rushed through Joe, as he remembered that warm spring day when he and Rose were taught buy his dad how to fish for the first time. The picture was an illusion because in fact, that day wasn’t full of happiness and smile but was a hardship for him and his sister, who both cried after frustration arose from several attempts to catch anything. Besides that, all Joe could do was smile at the photo and let out a small tear from his eye.

He turn the next page and a handwritten message was there waiting for him, and he was surprised that the man that never read wrote him the most beautiful message had ever read.

“Hey Joe its me Dad. If you’re reading this it means I am already gone and you didn’t finish your sequel you lazy donut. Yes I did read your book, and while it’s not the best thing I have read (where are the cars in this story? You should have more cars) I am proud that you finished something in your life.

You and Rose were what kept me going after your Mom died. I hope you know that until my last day I always thought of you both even if most times I never showed it. I hope you can get over me, do not worry about the dead when it’s the living you need to take care of. I am not worried about you taking care about your sister but I am worried about you taking care of yourself. You are a great person so shave that stupid beard you have been growing and go outside more times, don’t forget to smile to people and maybe stop saying those stupid jokes because let’s be honest, comedy is not your thing.

If you finish the sequel please promise me the aliens get their asses kicked and I hope you started yesterday because tomorrow is already too late

Love dad”

When he finished reading his dad’s short message he stared at his sister emotionless and after that he told her and Mike to get up and gave them an hug.

Once they sat down again, Joe showed both Rose and Mike the picture telling them how awful they both were at fishing, the night dragged along with more embarrassing childhood stories and wine.

Hours later Rose, Mike and the kids were at Joe’s doorstep they gave him a warm goodbye.

Joe closed the door, walked slowly into his room and sat in his desk. This time, instead of typing in his computer he looked once again at the picture and decided once again to finish what he didn’t even start.