Tale of Colliding Scopes

Tale of the Colliding Scopes

  Why? Why do you taunt me like this? Why do you insist on sparkling in the dead of night? Why are you always there, just out of reach? Are you even real? Do you hear me as I BEG and PLEAD for you to grant my wish?

  I shake my head and swallow a bucket’s worth of bile. Those darn stars, so far away. So tantalizingly beautiful that it almost hides their evil nature. Almost. Their light might have blinded the other fools on Earth, but not me. 

 I will never allow myself to be fooled again.

I turn on the light of the study, causing a quartet of ruffian rats to run away. They slip into the holes in the off white wall. The light flickers as I lay my foot down on the floorboard. They creak, relaying the message my weight has given them to the crumbled waste. The notebook papers quiver and shift about an inch. The torn blueprints almost wither from existence. The pencils and pens cling to each other, sending prayers to their manufacturers that I won’t be TOO trigger happy with the pencil sharpener.

With just a series of steps, I am at the center of the room. Three steps in front of me is the window where her telescope rests. I tightened my fist. Should I honor her wish and keep it there? Should I follow my own heart and trash it? Two options; different in action yet very much alike in the pain they promise. If I keep the telescope, it will sit in this room and gather dust. If I trash it, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

I clench my jaw and take two steps forward. The turquoise shell that the lenses rest in glimmers in the starlight. How appropriate. She did love stars. I take one more step forward, biting my lip so hard that I can taste blood. I place my hand on the device. 

Ugh. It feels like I’m committing the unpardonable sin.

I allow my jaw to relax a little. The stressful job that it had been asked to perform for me is now being covered by my rapid fire heart and my overworking mind. I pull my fingers away from the telescope; HER telescope. I pull a moist towelette from my pocket and dampen my fingers with it.

“Why?” I sniffled. “Why did it have to be so…sudden?”

There is no answer. While that was what I expected, I am still disappointed. I would give anything I have; EVERYTHING I have just to get an answer to that question.

“Why her?” I grit my teeth as snarls escape from my throat. The cause my tongue to sharpen, my saliva to curdle. “WHY! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!!!!” I turn and punch the wall. Since it was already crumbling, a hole forms in the surface. The tunnel leads to the velvety, starscaped blue of the outside.

Tears flow from my eyes. The punch hurt my hand. The questions hurt my heart.

“We were…” I swallowed the sour tears, my stomach aching as they shoot down my throat. “We had our lives planned out!” I hug my sides. “We…we were going to do amazing things.” I hang my head. I tighten my grip on my sides, hoping that would make up for the severe lack of people present. There is no one here.

I’m alone.

I let out a wail. The sound catches the rats off guard; I can hear them racing deeper into the walls. I get down on my knees. I don’t know if there is anyone that would be willing to listen to me, but I don’t care anymore. I lift my head to the ceiling.

“Please.” I whimper. “Please. God…Zeus…Buddha….Lucy.” My heart snaps when I say her name. “I don’t know what to do. I know it’s been a while, but….I just can’t move on! Am I crazy? Am I foolish? Am I…stupid?” I lower my head to the ground; the arch of my back is so steep that my nose is just inches away from the floor. I inhale the dust as I speak again. “I want to know. I want to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I want to know that there is hope.” I’m drowning. I’m being suffocated. “Lucy, I know you loved me. If you’re actually listening to me, I imagine you’re bawling your eyes out. You always did appreciate Shakespearean tragedies.” I chuckle. The sound feels beyond forced. “Please…Lucy. Please help me.” I tighten my grip. I will never exit my own embrace. 

Creak.

I blink. I lift my head, wondering what could have made that noise. The telescope. Was it originally tilted at that steep of an angle?

I lift myself up. The turquoise shell, the silver highlights. The short end granting me a gateway to the vast expanse. 

Should I look through it? I don’t want my soul to be sucked away into the cold, empty vacuum of grief.  But then again….

I kneel down and peer through the telescope. The first thing I spot is Venus. The brightest star on the map, and it isn’t even a star. I stare at the wondrous beauty spot on the face of the solar system. It’s light is….

Well, it’s nice.

I shift the telescope to the left. There’s Mars. As red as a cherry; burning with the flame of passion. I stare at that for longer than I did for Venus. I always liked the color red.

Lucy likes the color blue. So, I study the void, searching for the blue that has stolen her heart. I keep looking until I see something at last. It…it was very hard to catch though. It was a flash in the corner of my eye more than anything else. 

I tilt the telescope upward. I search for that sliver blue, praying that it wasn’t just my sleep deprived eyes playing tricks on me. I keep looking until I see another streak. This one red.

My heart pounds. I know I saw something! I had to! I keep the telescope directed at this particular part of the sky. I pray a silent but passionate prayer. Please. Let me see this.

I see another streak. This one is right in front of my eyes; impossible to miss. It looks like a shooting star, a comet. It’s violet.

I gawk as I look into the telescope. More colors flash across the sky; pinks and oranges, magentas and indigos, white and chartreuse. Oh…oh my God! It’s a meteor shower! I pull my eye away from the telescope and smile. The galactic event is now completely visible. I watch it in its full glory. The smile refuses to fall from my face, which works out because I refuse to let it leave.

“Lucy,” I said as I watch the stars fall from the Heavens. “You always said that you wanted your name to be up in lights.” I chuckle as a red and blue comet zip past the horizon. “Thank you. You were the best friend I could have possibly asked for.”