Who's To Blame?

“And thank you for your business with Liens and Loans, we look forward to working with you again in the future.”

She ends the call with a sigh of relief, then glances at her co-worker, who nervously observed the conversation. "We’re good.”

“Oh my God, thank you so much, Jess! I was so scared we were going to lose that client! You’re a real lifesaver!”

Jessica smiles and starts to leave the cubicle. “It’s no trouble, I’m always happy to help.”

Just as she’s leaving, another coworker comes up with a stack of papers. “Jessie! I’m really having trouble with this contract, can you give it a look for me?”

Giving a small, mock salute, she follows the new coworker to their desk. “At your service.”

The words might sound cut and paste, but for Jessica Stuart, it’s true. She’s always been the sort of person who enjoys helping others, it gives her a sense of fulfillment to know she’s helping make someone else’s life better, even just a little bit.

According to that ‘love language’ test she took with her hubby a few months ago, her language is ‘acts of service’. It makes her smile a bit as she works, thinking of that giant, burly man of hers and his love language being physical touch, the man is such a cuddle-bug!

It’ll be five years that they’ve been married soon, and all these extra shifts at work will be worth it to surprise him with a trip for their anniversary. She’s still not sure where they’ll go; she figures they can talk about it once the date is closer and she can share with him the money she’s been saving for it. She’s even been looking into nice pet hotels for their fur-babies.

Glancing up from her computer, she focuses her gaze on the few pictures she keeps on her desk. A black pelted Scottish-terrier with bright brown eyes and a light brown and white beagle-mix smile up at her with still-framed open mouths and wagging tails, and in a separate picture is a lounging white cat with green eyes and black socks.

They don’t have any human children yet, just two loving pups and a grumpy kitty. Jessica isn’t sure yet if she wants actual kids, but it’s not something she’s completely closed off to either. Maybe after their little getaway, she could talk with her honey about it more seriously.

For now though, life is good. She has a fulfilling job, she’s got a rent-to-own home, friends, her pets, her husband. For the time being, she wouldn’t change a thing.

She finishes shutting down her computer and stands, tossing her purse over her shoulder. One of the joys of coming in early; getting to leave early.

As she reaches the exit, Jessica notices there are still a few people in the lobby waiting to be seen. She turns to the receptionist’s desk. “Have these people been helped?”

“I’ve got Brian coming out to take those two to his office in a few minutes, and those three I’m waiting to schedule in. I’m just waiting to get confirmation on times before I give them the appointment cards.” The receptionist says with a nod.

“Oh, did you want me to knock on some doors to get those responses for you, Sebastian?”

The receptionist, Sebastian, laughs. “Jessica Stuart, go home! You’re already punched out! It’s fine, it’ll only be a minute more.”

Jessica stops, glancing back slightly.

She could’ve sworn she saw one of the waiters jump up at the receptionist’s words, but when she looks back, they’re all casually waiting, some on their phones, one man with red hair reading a magazine, the couple talking quietly to each other.

Shaking her head internally, Jessica returns the receptionist’s smile. “Ok, ok. Just wanting to help.”

“Hey, are you coming out to Parsley’s? A few of us from the office were going to have a drink after work.”

Jessica sighs. “I wish I could, but I’ve really got to get groceries today, I’ve been putting it off too long, we’ll be eating cardboard at my house soon!”

Sebastian chuckles. “Alright, enjoy your chores. Next time?”

She nods and turns to the door. “Next time.” She smiles at everyone in the lobby. “You folks have a wonderful day!”

The people waiting give her a smile or a nod of acknowledgement, except the man with his magazine. Must’ve found a really good article.

She leaves the office, holding the elevator for a few people also leaving on her floor, and makes for the parking garage. As she enters her car, she gets a strange feeling, a shiver up her back.

Glancing around, she doesn’t see any real reason for it. People are chatting and getting into their cars, and leaving. Nothing suspicious or unusual.

Sighing to herself, she gets in her car and drives away, the wind might have just given her the shiver.

The drive to the supermarket is unremarkable; she allows a few people to cut in her lane with little more than a huff of annoyance at their lack of consideration. Mostly, she sings the songs on the radio and mentally runs through the list she’d made on her phone.

She parks further in the back of the parking lot, trying to get more steps into her day. When she gets closer to the entrance, she sees an older woman struggling to get her cart over the curb of the sidewalk.

“Ma’am, can I help you?” she calls out, changing direction from the door to the woman.

“Oh, that would be nice. Thank you.” The woman says with a deep sigh, relaxing from the strain of trying to lift the cart up and over.

Jessica smiles before tilting the back wheels of the cart and then moving the whole thing over the curb with a small grunt of exertion. “It’s no trouble, I’m happy to help.”

As the woman continues on her way, she waves back at Jessica, who returns the gesture with a smile before turning and going into the store herself.

Going through the aisles, she gets that strange feeling a few more times, but each time, there’s nothing there. No abnormal people, nothing out of the norm.

Jessica shakes her head at herself for the fifth time before finishing up her browsing and heading to the checkout line.

A toddler sits in the cart in front of her, glancing up from their hands to eyeball Jessica as she waits her turn.

Jessica smiles at the child, looks away, and when the child is still watching her, decides to make a little face.

Nothing crazy, just raising her eyebrows, sticking her tongue out a little bit.

The child giggles, then looks away shyly, before coyly looking back at Jessica expectantly.

Jessica makes a few more faces at the child, smiling apologetically when the child lets out a screech of laughter when she crosses and uncrosses her eyes.

It was fun, makes her think a little more about having children as the family leaves and she is able to check out her groceries.

Jessica thanks the clerk for their help and bids them ‘good day’ before continuing on the longer walk to her car at the back of the parking lot.

She’s just getting the last of her bags into her car when a man screams “Hey!” and startles her out of the vehicle.

There’s an anger in the man’s tone that immediately has Jessica cautious, but she tries not to be quick to judge, perhaps he just has difficulty regulating his tone.

Instead of getting defensive or angry back, she holds up a placating hand. “Yes, sir, can I help you?”

The man seems almost familiar in a way Jessica can’t quite put her finger on, his ginger hair seems almost frantic as it stands in many directions. His teeth are clenched as he reaches into his jacket. “Yeah, you can help me, alright.”

Panic began to rise in her chest, not only at his words but at the tone in which he spoke. Jessica grabs her purse from the car. “L-look, I-I don’t have any cash, but I can give you my wallet-”

“I don’t want you’re damn money, you bitch! You think your money is enough to take back all you’ve taken from me?!” he bellows, pulling back his hand to reveal a hunting knife.

The glint of metal is all she needs to see before bolting to get in the car for protection. The man is faster than she thought he’d be, able to reach her before she could get in the safety of the vehicle.

He’s grabbed her by her hair and yanked her down to the parking lot floor, the gravel digging into her knees as Jessica cried out. He’s on top of her, but not splaying her out or trying to get in her clothes.

His weight is crushing, and Jessica tries to push back against him. “Please, stop! I-”

“Shut up!” he snarls in her ear, holding the knife to her neck. “After everything you’ve done, you can just shut the hell right up! Or do you not remember me? Was I just another name on a list to you? Just another hum-drum day at the office?!”

Tears are falling from Jessica’s eyes rapidly, her makeup causing a small burn in the corner of her eyes. She gasps, trying to slow her breathing enough to speak, “I…I-I-I don’t-”

“Don’t remember? Well, that’s typical, isn’t it? You spend your days approving and denying people of funds they really need, money that makes or breaks a life…like mine, for example.” He says silkily, running the flat edge of the knife against her neck.

Jessica whimpers in the back of her throat when he lightly turns the blade to cut her just a bit.

“I needed that loan. It was going to get me out of this whole my bitch ex threw me in to. That loan was going to help me get my kids back. That loan was going to change the course my life took…but you, Jessica Stuart, said ‘no’. With the sweetest little voice.” He intones, then pushes the knife deeper into her skin.

Jessica cries out again, unable to keep from pushing to get away, but it only serves to make the man push her further into the ground.

“‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Brown. There’s nothing we can do, Mr. Brown!” he says in a loud falsetto, literally twisting the knife along with his words. “You act so innocent, so kind. I watched you all day, with your fake care and ‘kind’ front…it’s all a lie, when you can so easily take a man’s life from him without so much as a tear.”

“Please!” Jessica sobs. “Please, please, I’m sorry! I-I’m so, so sorry! A-Andrew-”

“My name is Anthony!” he screams, changing his grip on the blade to stab instead of cut.

And stab he does.

Holding her hair in one hand, he pulls her head back and stabs down into her exposed neck, then stabs again into her chest. Then again into her chest.

Pain explodes throughout her body. Jessica can’t even scream as the blood pours out of her neck and chest. She barely feels it when he releases her completely, and she falls to the ground.

Her vision is beginning to blur and spin, yet she can make out his black and white shoes as he runs away from her.

That’s right. She thinks. The man with the magazine.

It’s getting colder now, she thinks she can hear other noises, maybe other people, but she can do little more than twitch. She can’t even call out for help.

Perhaps it’s the blood loss, perhaps it’s the cold creeping in, but Jessica finds herself trying to remember that man, the fateful day that apparently led to all this, yet she can’t.

It shames her a little to think that maybe that man is right. Maybe she really isn’t a good person, as she’d be comfortable believing.

At the end of the day, it was just a job for her. She never tried to think beyond the day-to-day of her work, following the orders given from above her. Isn’t that what everyone does?

She never went out of her way to hurt anyone; she never took great pleasure in telling people ‘no’.

Really, all she had ever wanted was to be the best version of herself she could be, working a job in order to live a happy life with a small circle of those she loved.

Perhaps that in itself was too much to hope for.