The Good News

Susanna reads the plaque above the clock in the office, ‘Jesus Saves Sinners’. Will Jesus save her if she has Pastor Mason’s baby? 

The sun shines brightly through the glass doors and windows of the Heritage Baptist Church front office, highlighting the two-tone tan desks, with no papers or pencils disturbing their empty desktops. Two women sat as a matched set, both at one each desk, each with carefully blown-out dyed blonde hair and in pastel sweater sets. Fidgeting anxiously, they kept looking at the phone.

“Shouldn’t they have called by now with the news?" Lori asked, for the third time. 

Susanna sits in the dark, back corner annex at a worn, donated desk, held up seemingly by the boxes of files and papers surrounding it. She is listening in, but wants to continue to be ignored so she shrinks down to make her small body even smaller. She needs to hear what the Board will say. If just one other person can back up her story, it would change everything. Will the Church support her? The Church used to be the one place she felt safe, now fear grips her. Her life's work is supporting the Church and doing God's work. But what if God doesn't want her? She keeps typing slowly on the computer, waiting.  

Jane, exasperated, said, “I told you the Board meeting should have finished by now. I don’t know what is taking so long-”  

The ringing phone interrupted Jane. 

Jane, having more seniority in her volunteer position, answered on the first ring. She put the handset tight to her ear. Lori had to attempt to read her facial gestures for the outcome. Jane’s lips and face puckered into a shocked expression, then her eyes opened wide, nodded and grinned, or maybe grimaced. With Jane's plastic surgery and heavy makeup, translation was difficult.

“Pastor Mason was cleared by the Church Board!” Jane said, hanging up the office phone.

“Thank God!” Lori exclaims. “I knew those stories couldn't be true. Especially coming from those girls. Pastor Mason did so much for that family, and this is how they repay him, making up such terrible stories- of him touching them! 

Also heavily made up, she dabbed at her eyes gently not to mess up her dark mascara, “Oh, I am so happy!“

“You know how those people are,” Jane said. “they go on and on about being discriminated against, but they just bring it on themselves! “

“Could you imagine how hard that must have been for the Board to ask him those questions. He has known all of them for so long. Oh, God bless, He is innocent of all charges!”

“Is that what they said, he is innocent? “ Susanna asked. She did not want to bring attention to herself, but she had to know.

Jane turned to look at her. “Well, actually no. They said they did not believe the girls’ story. But isn’t that the same thing?”

Susanna’s expression did not change, and she went back to the computer. They did not believe the girls’ story.., echoed in her head. Her stomach twists, but she wills herself to not get up and go to the bathroom again. Lori already asked about it this morning. Now she knows what will happen to her if the news gets out. A few more clicks and the large printer began humming, producing bright color fliers.

“Oh, you did it- We will have handouts for the protest.” Lori said brightly. “Super Susie to the rescue again. Your people are made for office work- your little brown fingers just fly on the keyboard! Since you have been Church secretary, everything is so organized. “

“‘Our God is a God of peace and not disorder. Organization will bring calmness and peace into our families.’ First Corinthians,”  Susanna says, smiling at the praise. She points to a collection of several boxes of large signs and fliers, as well as a cooler. 

” These are all ready to go.” 

“Susanna, you're not coming with us in the van? We need numbers, we expect light turnout today. “

“No, I have some work to do with Pastor Mason, you should be all set though.” 

   *******

“Pastor Mason, do you have a moment? "Susanna knocked on the door of the Church Residence.

The door opened, “Susanna! Come in, come in. Have you heard the good news? Today is a great win for the Church!”    

Susanna had previously welcomed the thick, warm feel of Pastor Mason’s personal room, filled with dark wood furniture, burgundy upholstered chairs and a couch. Pictures of the Pastor with celebrities and elected officials covered one wall. Today the atmosphere was claustrophobic. Susanna walks over and touches a brown, dying fig plant.  

“ I want you to know you are my reward for so many years of service to God." Pastor Mason smiled and took Susanna's hand. His large gray wrinkled hands completely engulfed her small brown ones. 

"Also, thank you for your gift. I feel bad, I give it water, but it does not stay green- ”

“-It needs light,“ Susanna says. “I need to speak with you- I have news about the appointment I went to yesterday,” 

 ‘And?” Pastor Mason's eyes narrowed and his smile left his face.

“Yes, I am. 6 weeks…”

“And you are sure, there is not another man you have been with?- “ 

“-I told you already, there has never been anyone else…” Susanna shook her head and looked down. 

Pastor Mason squeezed her hands. “ This is God’s work. You can put… it, up for adoption, and it can bring joy to a new family. I will call the St. Elizabeth Foundation, I know the Executive Director well, it will all be handled.”

“-There is an issue, a medical issue, it might not make it-” Susanna paused. 

“Our faith focuses on the Good News of salvation brought to sinners by Jesus Christ, '' Pastor Mason says in his preaching voice. 

“So I am a sinner for what I did, with you?” Susanna finally looks up at Pastor Mason’s eyes. 

“We are all sinners.” Pastor Mason smiles gently. “God has plans with this baby- Our Church teaches the Principle of Providence, God permits all things that come to pass and governs all events. Have faith in the Lord. ”  

“What will the Church do? Susanna asks

“Well, we have classes for unwed mothers of course, and -” Pastor Mason tries to remove his hands, but Susanna won’t let go. 

“What will you do? “ Susanna feels shame and anger growing inside of her. All her fears are coming true.

Pastor Mason pulls his hands away and steps across the room. 

“Well, with my position here, you know I can not be involved. I trust you won’t mention my name, not that you would be believed. Have you talked to your Father? “

“It- didn’t go well. And, I don't know how I will be able to go to high school.”

Pastor Mason turned to kneel against the couch.  “Come, let us pray together. ‘Our Father, who art in Heaven…’ “

Susanna felt her stomach roil again. They used to pray together, afterwards, ‘to cleanse ourselves’ he would say.

Susanna had felt so good to be valued by him, so important to be part of God's plan. She looks around the room, but realizes God is not in this room. Susanna doesn’t understand how God has chosen this for her. He said I was his reward- now she has her own reward, and she is on her own. Susanna leaves Pastor Mason on his knees, praying. 

    ******

The emotional pain of telling her Father her news racks her body when she remembers. 

“Daddy, please!”

“Just tell me who the father is, is it that boy, Billy?” 

“No, Daddy, I can’t tell you- “

“-Tom then! I never liked that boy. I’ ll call his parents right now!”

“No, Daddy, no! It- is Pastor Mason…” 

“-Don’t bring Pastor Mason into this! Father erupts in rage, slamming his hand onto the table. “He has done enough for this family, and you!” 

He looked over at the long vines of the golden pothos plant. Since Mother passed, her favorite plant has come to represent her physical presence. The vines encircle the sun-lit window and grow long across the countertop past the perfectly organized spice jars.  

“If your Mother was here, it would be different, but, I can not have you living in my house, in this condition. You will go back and stay with your Grandmother in San Pedro Sula. “ In tears, he had reached across the table to hold Susanna’s hand. 

“ I just want what is best for you, but I can only do so much. Susanna, why won’t you tell me who the father is? “Oh God, what should we do! Let us pray Susanna, Let us pray! “

He loved Pastor Mason, he sponsored us when we first came here to this country, and got Father his first job at the repair shop. Heritage Baptist has provided for the family, and gave her a job as a secretary. It is true she has no right to ask for any special favors of the Church. And if she leaves the country she doubts she will ever come back. 

Susanna felt claustrophobic in the small kitchen. Her organized life is being knocked apart by this thing inside of her. What could she even ask of God?  

“I am not going back to Honduras!” 

   ******

Susanna sat outside on the Church steps waiting for her ride.  

She noticed a depth to the clear blue sky, it had a dark blue streak over there, light blue up there, and a pink, that Susanna could not see until she looked away. The long cement parking lot, empty, had heat shimmers coming off in waves. The crape myrtle trees in their square planter boxes were finally turning red as spring turned to summer. A light breeze ruffled the leaves and the sound of the wind in the leaves got louder, then softer. 

Susanna tried to feel God here on the Church grounds, see him in the wind in the trees, but could not find Him. This Church did not support girls like her. Susanna looked across at the blue four feet high letters and the inlaid cross of the parking lot sign.  

‘Jesus Saves Sinners’. Susanna wondered which Sinners the Jesus who lives at this Church saves. 

The Lyft arrives and Susanna gets in.

“Driver when we get there, please go around the back, I can show you.”

Susanna sees the people from Heritage in the assigned protesting area outside the Women's Clinic. Some are up chanting and yelling. Lori and Jane are passing out the fliers she had printed this morning. The protest signs are looking a bit faded and ragged, Susanna makes a mental note they should make new ones. 

“ Yes, turn here, this is the parking lot. If you can wait a minute, I have to call for an escort.”   

Susanna sees the escort, a woman, look both ways before she exits the nondescript back door.  

The Driver’s eyes look back at her through the rearview mirror.

“I know what you are doing. You have no respect for life. No respect for God. You’ll burn in hell.”

“Thank you for the ride”, Susanna says. She has said those same words to women. How was that God's work she wonders. 

As she gets out, she sees a huge Trident Maple tree in the corner of the lot. Small leaves with three big, pointed lobes wave strongly in the breeze.

She is reminded of Pastor Mason’s sermon of how the this leaf is a symbol of the Holy Trinity: 

God is revealed to us as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit each with distinct personal attributes, but without division of being. 

Her escort with long dark hair and kind brown eyes, grabs her hand and says “Hello, I am so glad to meet you. My name is Mary. We should get inside.” Mary’s hands are cold, and she squeezes Susanna’s hand tightly as they walk in. 

Susanna looks up again at the Maple tree. Where does she find God? Is He in the cement parking lot, the grand auditorium of the Church? She did not find Him in Pastor Mason’s Residence.  

Maybe God is like the pink in the sky, she can only find Him when she is looking somewhere else.

She enters the Woman’s center, and sits down with Mary. For the first time, someone listens to Susanna, and lets her tell her story. 

Mary asks “ What do you want to do? You know the prognosis of the baby, you have to decide what is best for you. We will support you whatever your decision is. Let us know when you are ready.” 

Mary leaves her to go talk to another woman. 

Suzanna feels for the first time someone is on her side. She is in the right place, and without looking she finds God inside herself.  

She settles into the hard plastic chair and now knows what she needs to do.