Forbidden

I used to live peacefully. No worries. No problems. No drama. Why did he come back? Did I want him to come back? Because of him, my life will never be the same. Damn you, Leo Magoui.  

"What do you mean?" I asked my foster mother.  

"You two... are siblings."  

I get it, you're confused right? Let me explain. (PS. When I say that my mother did something, I’m most likely talking about Anna, my foster mother. Be aware because I address her differently throughout the book).  

"Hey, kiddos. We have a new student today." Mr. Johnson said.  

"Hey. My name's Leo Magoui. I'm eighteen and my favorite color is black. Nice to meet you all." Leo said in the most insincere way.  

He had on all black jeans with a white tee. A black jock jacket, with brown patches. And the Nike mocha's I had wanted at the time. A chain dangled from his neck with a pencil attached. Why? Well, I guess you’ll find out later. His eyes met mine and we held eye contact for what seemed to be days.  

"Where'd you get your shoes from?" I asked needily.  

"Why?" He asked back.  

"I want a pair. Been looking for them for months."  

"What size shoe do you wear?" He questioned.  

I never realized it then what he'd asked me that for. I didn't question it either.  

"Eight 'n a half in women's and a seven in men." I responded.  

He hummed at me. From then on, we started talking. We got to know each other better... and eventually, we started dating. He even bought me a pair of mochas for our one-week anniversary. Who celebrates those, you’re probably thinking. We did. Cliché, right?  

"I want to marry you one day, Harmony." He told me.  

"Yes." I responded. I'd said yes before he even asked.  

"I didn't even ask you yet." He smiled.  

God, that smile. He's every woman's dream. So sweet. So, kind. So charming. He had two dimples too. One on each cheek. That alone was enough to make any lady melt. Something about him just always felt... familiar. I now know why. Anyway, one day, I eventually introduced him to my foster mother. My parents passed away when I was younger and all I have of theirs in a journal so she's all I've ever had, really. She made me leave him. She told me that I could never, ever be with him. Did I listen? Of course not. I loved him. I snuck out day after day to meet him. One day, we were supposed to meet at the coffee shop we had our first date. Instead of him showing, my foster mother did.  

“What are you doing here?” I’d asked her. 

"What are you doing here?" She questioned.  

"Okay, I admit it! I've been meeting with Leo this whole time and I won't stop! I love him!" I shouted.  

"You can't!" She slammed her hand on the table.  

I got so scared... thinking back on it now, it makes me laugh. How silly I was, huh?  

"Why not?!" I shouted back. She stayed silent but the fire was still burning in her eyes. I could tell that she meant everything she was saying. I really couldn't be with him. We stayed for a little while longer so we could clear the air. I didn't want our relationship to go down in shambles like that. But the whole time, Leo never showed. I texted him a thousand times and none of the messages went through. He had blocked me.  

"He did the right thing, Harmony." My mother touched my hand.  

Tears had started to swarm my eyes. How could he? I thought. I never wanted to see him again. But I did.  

Now, let’s jump ahead, let’s say, two weeks before the first conversation.  

My friend and I were walking along Belhaven Street after grabbing a quick coffee. We were on our way to work at the news reporter's station. We’re the head of the makeup crew. I get paid $100,000 dollars a year, for doing what I love. Every person’s dream. Anyway, we were walking and something told me to look to my left. There he was. Leo Magoui. Standing right there in broad daylight. I stopped right in my tracks and just stared at him. He was smiling at a guy we went to school with. That same smile that made me melt five years ago, is doing it again. My heart fluttered at him. His dimples look like they became even more noticeable. Or maybe it was because I hadn’t seen him in five years. Either way he still captured my heart; he unlocked the chains that I had used to lock it up. All of the guys I went through because they didn’t have the effect, he had on me. None of them could break the chains. Leo couldn’t even break them. But he had the key. He looked over at me and his smile dropped just like the tears in my eyes that day. He opened his mouth as if he wished to say something; apologize. But I walked away. I’d never give him the satisfaction of speaking to me. Never.  

I was still puzzled when I arrived at work, but I made an oath to never mix my work life with my personal life. My job means everything to me and even Leo wouldn’t take that away from me. I was doing the news lady’s makeup and he walked in. Why? I thought. Why is all of this happening to me now? The first place he looks, is at me. I looked away as quickly as possible and swallowed the lump that was sitting in my throat. I wanted to cuss him out. I wanted punch him in his face. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to kiss him. But- you guessed it -I didn’t.  

“Harmony, can you do Mr. Magoui’s makeup please? He’s our fill-in for Mark. He’s getting his tux for his wedding!” Karen pumped a fist in the air out of excitement for Mark as if she wasn’t the bride.  

“I can’t.” I blurted.  

“Why not?” she asked.  

“I used to know him. Don’t mix business with personal life, right?” I swung my arm with a fake smile.  

He was close enough to hear the conversation though. And he looked disappointed. I glared at him. He just reminded me of that yesterday. He said he was scared I was going to kill him. I mean I wanted to, but I couldn’t. Anyway: Why does he look disappointed? Was he the one that was abandoned? Did I leave him without being aware? Didn’t think so. I was so angry that day.  

“Harmony, can we-” He had started to talk but yet again, I walked away.  

Only this time, he had ran after me.  

“Let go of me.” I coaxed.  

“No. Let me explain myself.” He said. 

“Explain what? Huh?!” I snatched away from him out of anger.  

I turned around and he was tearing up. He’s not going to fool me. Not again.  

“Stop the bullshit crying.” I said with another lump in my throat.  

Lump Day instead of Hump Day. (It wasn’t even Wednesday). I’m sorry- that was funny though, wasn’t it? Don’t lie.  

“Har-”  

“Don’t say my name again. Don’t you dare do it.” I said. 

If he had said my name again that day, I would’ve jumped into his arms. I would’ve kissed him all over. How crazy my life was. It’s so funny to me now. I’m writing this, smiling as hard as ever. My whole life was a lie then. Let’s get back.  

“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have left you if I didn’t learn the things I did.” He said.  

“What did you learn?! Huh?!” I shouted.  

I was on a rampage. Nobody could stop me.  

“I can’t tell you.” He murmured.  

“Thought so. I’m leaving early, Karen!” I shouted and left.  

The world works funny, doesn’t it? After that day, I kept running into him every day that week. It was a Monday when this happened. Let’s jump to Saturday.  

“Harmony. Can we hang out? Please. Just for one day.” Leo asked me... in the coffee shop. The same coffee shop we went to for our first date. The same coffee shop, he ghosted me in. I was too weak to say no.  

“Okay.” I short stopped.  

Us hanging out that day, led into the next. We hung out for six more days. We’re at Friday now.  

“I wish we could’ve had a different ending.” I said. That made him look uncomfortable. Why’d I say that?  

“Harmony. I told you, things changed. Things that made me look at you way differently.” He said.  

“What, though?!” I began shouting. “Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Just tell me!”  

“I can’t, Harmony!” He smacked the table.  

I wasn’t scared, but I was taken back.  

“Five years later and you still can’t be a man.” I smiled.  

I didn’t even tear up that day. I scoffed and then left. Let’s hop into the first conversation you saw. 

 Before we pick up where we left off in the beginning, let me tell you how the conversation started. I was sitting in my mother’s foster home which was filled with roughly twelve other kids. My new siblings.  

“I started hanging out with Leo again, mother.” I blurted.  

She stopped cutting the potatoes so quickly and turned to me. “Before you say anything, mother. We stopped. And it wasn’t like that. He came back to town, and I tried to stay away but he was just everywhere. I couldn’t stay away. Then, we ran into each other at Mano’s café and he asked to hang out. I said yes because how could I say no? Three days ago, I mentioned how I wish we could’ve had a better ending and he said he found out things that made him look at me differently. I tried to learn about what it was but he wouldn’t tell me. I blew up on him and left. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since. And I never will.” I told her. Or something along those lines. It’s all quite fuzzy now. 

“I have something I need to tell you, Harmony. Promise me you won’t get mad.” She said.  

I was scared. I was so scared at that moment. What she told me would’ve scared any person in love. Let me finish telling you my story though.  

“What do you mean?” I asked.  

“You two... are siblings.” She said.