That can fully understand you

“What does the letter say?” I ask confused at the sad look on her face “You seem upset, is everything alright?”

Val hands me the letter folded as it had come to her that morning. “It’s David; I don’t think he is fine”.

I take the letter and read its content:

Dear Mr Rosworth, I write to you on behalf of the Organisation. We regret to inform you that your brother has disappeared and escaped the institution in which he was located. We highly recommend you to report to us if he gets in touch with you by any means. As you may know, he is a dangerous individual and has a history of mental illness that could be a menace for us all.

Kind regards,

Lionel Hurd.

I throw the letter to the fire in front of me and watch till it burns completely, the paper becoming black as my mind is racing with thoughts and feelings I thought were long forgotten. Val gets up from her seat and comes to hold me with her arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asks in a low voice.

“David has always had his plans, I don’t know what he is doing or why, but he better not come here for help or understanding, because he will not get any of those from me” my own voice seems harsh to me as it leaves my mouth, but I can’t forget everything he has done.

“Maybe they found out about him, you know your brother is many things, but he is not sick” and she is right, David might be a danger to himself, and he might have ridiculous ideas, but he is not mentally ill.

“It’s just…” I notice tears wetting my face “It’s just been so long. I even thought he was dead, he might as well be, for all we know”

I can see through my tearful eyes the pity in Val’s look; she is so sorry for me, though I don’t know if it is because she believes I still love David or because she is afraid I will never forgive him. I don’t even know myself.

“Michael, you know in your heart that he is alive” Maybe I do, maybe I am just waiting for him to come to me, to tell me he is sorry, and to tell me he regrets everything that made us grow apart ten years ago. “If he comes, what will we do?” I like that she said ‘we’, makes me feel like I am not alone in this, like it doesn’t matter how much craziness David might bring into my life, she will stand right beside me.

“I don’t know” And we say nothing else.

We spend the whole afternoon in the living room reading, quiet, like nothing has changed, though it has. I am almost finishing Oliver Twist when I hear a noise, like crystal breaking in a thousand pieces. I get up instantly throwing the book to the couch and I gesture Val to stay silent putting my index finger on my mouth. I take the poker near the fireplace and walk slowly out of the living room and into the kitchen.

I see the crystal door broken and open in front of me. Without any doubt I know whose the blood in the latch is. I then see my brother, in what seem yellow jail clothes. His blond hair is longer than I remember and his face is dirtier. But his brown eyes are the same, a smile is drawn in his face as he sees me and breaths heavily as if he had been holding his breath for a long time. I am surprised to see that he is actually happy to see me.

“Hey, little brother” he says getting up “Did you miss me?”

I let the poker leave my hand and fall down to the wooden floor. I stand there without moving, not knowing what to do. It’s been ten years since we saw each other for the last time, in the cemetery of our hometown. Images of him crying and me yelling at him come to my mind, the rain was damping our hairs back then, and I couldn’t discern his tears from the raindrops on his face.

Steps behind me bring me back to reality and I feel Val’s hand on my back, her gentle touch. She looks at David worried and starts to walk toward him.

“David, your hand, you are bleeding” she says as she grabs him by his arm and put it under the running water of the sink.

“I am sorry for coming in like that; I didn’t know if you were home and I have a lot of people following me, I couldn’t risk waiting” he talks looking at me and I remain frozen in my place. “Val, why isn’t he talking? At least yelling at me?”

“How dare you come here?” I surprise myself saying, and his face grins at me. “Stop smiling like that, do you think I forgot what you did?”

I start to advance angrily to him, but Val is between us and she pushes me far from David putting her hand on my chest.

“Michael, wait. Why don’t we try to listen to him? See what he has to say? It’s been ten years; maybe we can try and be civil”

And she is right, because she always thinks first, and that’s one of the many things I love about her, that she is so different from me.

“I know I screwed up” David starts, and his gaze still is on me. “I know you probably won’t ever forgive me, but I need you to know that they did it, they tricked me. They are very powerful, Mike, you don’t know the things I have seen trapped in there, but there is still a chance, we can defeat them, only if we…”

“Stop excusing yourself!” I yell and point at him with my finger. “Did they trick you into killing mum? Did they somehow force you to make all those stupid choices? Because even if you didn’t pull the trigger it was because of you that she died, that they murdered her. You didn’t even have to see her body”.

“That’s enough!” Val’s voice coming between us, forcing to stop looking at each other. “You need to talk without the anger taking over you. You are brothers for fuck's sake. And you both lost your mother that day” Now she looks only at me. “He is the only other human being that knows how it felt to lose her the way you did, that can fully understand you”.

“Mike” David is walking toward me and without even knowing how he is hugging me. I stand there, my arms still, and I cry. I didn’t know I needed it but now I don’t want him to go. “I am sorry for everything. I am sorry for trusting the wrong people and believe me, if I could go back I would change everything, I would have tried to do it differently, but I didn’t know how”.

“You could have asked for my help. We would have found something else, something to protect you. Why didn’t you trust me?” I sound desperate, like my soul leaves my body with every word.

“I didn’t want to put you and mum in danger, I thought by not telling you about the Organisation I would be protecting you, but it did just the opposite. Oh, I am so sorry, you need to believe me”

“I do believe it” I say holding him now and see Val’s smile as I do it. “I guess I was grieving and needed someone to blame. Now, how did they get you? They wrote to us this morning, saying to report if we heard anything from you”

“Shit, then they are coming here next. I am so stupid; I am doing it all over again, putting you in danger” He puts his healthy hand on his temple, as if to think what to do.

“You can hide here, we will say we haven’t seen you, or we could tell them you came and then went somewhere else, we will give them a false address” says Val, and I must have put a really surprised face, because she adds. “What? I watch a lot of TV shows”

“Listen, don’t worry, I will leave now. I only need some water and food if you could…”

He is interrupted by the bell. The sound resonates in my head like a threat, because I know we are walking in thin ice now, that the ones ringing the doorbell of my house are those who killed my mum and that will kill my brother if I don’t do anything to prevent it.

“Don’t make a sound” I say looking at him and pointing him to hide behind the counter.

 “What about the blood?” Val says looking at me and I direct my gaze to the kitchen door.

“Put that cloth on my hand. I’ll say we forgot the keys inside and couldn’t get in”

When she does just that we exchange a worried look and I kiss her forehead before we walk together to the front door of our house. I open the door and see two people, a man and a woman, both dressed up in black suits and sunglasses.

“Mr Rosworth?” says the woman looking at me. “My name is Rose, and my colleague here is Jonathan. We are from the Organisation and we are looking for David Rosworth, your brother. We strongly believe he might have entered your residence or is planning to do so. Have you seen him or do you know where he could be hiding?”

“I haven’t seen him in ten years, and I intend to keep it that way” I say and I realise that she is looking at the cloth in my hand.

“What happened to your hand?” She asks taking her sunglasses off.

“I forgot the keys inside, so I had to break the kitchen’s door” I say as calmly as I can.

“Is there anything else we can help you with?” inquires Val smiling at them.

They look at each other and I see the man she named Jonathan reach to his back and get a gun, while he points it at us.

“Let us take a look” he says with a rusty voice.

“I don’t think you are allowed to do this, we already told you that…” starts saying Val, but she is interrupted by the sound of the gun being loaded.

I put myself before Val and I start to close the door as fast as I can, but Rose puts her foot preventing me to do it.

“We don’t mind killing you as well, Mr Rosworth, your life for his, that simple. I believe your mother wouldn’t let us into her house either, and look where it took her” the woman threatens.

Then, out of nowhere, someone is at the door. Blonde hair and yellow clothes, with a gun aiming at the suits in front of me. He says nothing and shoots him first, then before she can reach to her own gun, David shoots twice to her heart. Blood spills and stains the clean cloth in my hand, which has now turned red.

“I won’t make the same mistake twice” David says looking at me and dropping to his knees.

I run to him jumping over the dead bodies and kneel next to him, holding him as if that way nobody can ever see him or find him again.

“I know”.