NEVER LOVED

‘’Are you coming tonight,” with a smiling face, I asked Dooshima as we both sat down that morning watching television. “Yes, dear why not? you know I cannot afford to miss such an interesting movie,” she answered as we both smiled at each other.

Wow!!! I silently said in my heart as I looked dumbfounded at my friend’s beauty, I wondered how God must have spent so much time in designing and redesigning her.

My friend Dooshima is a very decent and pretty woman, she is dark in complexion, tall, has a fine figure, her fine face is beautified with bright eyes, a long nose and beautiful dentition. Dooshima hardly smiles but when she does, her dentition adds so much glamour to her beauty. Indeed, it is on Dooshima that you confirm the saying “Black is beauty’. more so, her spoken English is unbeatable, she speaks with beautiful intonation. One thing I loved most was her sweet voice, she sings so angelic, in fact, she is a singing bird but one habit I disliked about her is that she was a shy and quiet person. Unlike me, talking was a talent from God, I was the president of the Debate and Press Club in my Secondary School.

Dooshima and I have been together in this friendship over seven years, loving and appreciating one another’s qualities in our own special way. We both finished from Command Secondary School, Makurdi and enrolled into the Benue state university same year and stay on the university campus. We both were roommates, so we studied, ate, bath and even slept on same bed, we did everything together. In fact, our relationship was more than that of friends but sisters. We helped each other in times of difficulty. Although Dooshima was not financially buoyant, I assisted her with some of her financial needs since I was a member of the middle class.

Without an iota of doubt, I loved Dooshima and I trust she loved me, but unfortunately it was the other way around, Dooshima never loved me but was only pretending but I never realized because she had an innocent appearance. Looking at her, you would hardly believe she could kill an ant but Dooshima was nothing but a wolf disguised in sheep clothing’s.

One fateful day, when I was about having my quiet time (Time for mediation). Dooshima who told me, she was going for a birthday party and would not return back till 5pm, just entered inside the room and pleaded with me to accompany her for the party, I never wanted to go with her but since she always accompanied me whenever I requested, I also accepted to follow her, unknown to me that a great danger was awaiting me. We both dressed up, after which, we left for the party. When we got there, it was a hotel, we entered one of the hotel room. At the entrance, we were welcomed by the cool music which enclosing the whole atmosphere and we met three men only. I was wondering why we were just five in a party, nevertheless, I did not bother much since Dooshima and I were together. We were both given a glass of juice, after drinking it, Dooshima excused herself, I asked her where she was heading to and if I should company her, but she said she will be  back in a short while and that she was just going to get the birthday cake from her aunty, who was living nearby, then she left.

Soon after, one of the men stood up and locked the door with a key, immediately I started feeling uncomfortable, the other man then ordered me to remove my clothes. At that point I knew I was in great danger. A river flowed down my eyes as I pleaded with them to let me go yet my pleading fell on deaf ears. As they forcefully raped me, my experience that night could send shivers down the spine of anyone who could imagine it, I could not believe all these were happening to me, I sat down and waited for the storm to break but to no avail, I called on death to embrace me but it did not come, that was my first time experiencing such and what angered me the most was that, I was raped by three unknown men, I knew immediately it was a setup by Dooshima since she never returned to the party, but what really made me wonder is her reason for doing that, since I could not walk back to the campus properly, I picked a taxi. I never believed Dooshima could betray my trust in her. I felt so devastated.

After three months, Dooshima did not come to the hostel, maybe she was so afraid and scared of what I would do to her. However, I already had forgiven her, what is done has been done, I told no one of the ugly incident, I also never regret meeting her in life, this is because, I always had the belief that, good people give you good memories and bad people give you experience (The best teacher). Same applied to Dooshima, in fact her case was special, I learnt more than enough lessons from her.

Some month later, she resumed, immediately she entered the room, she went on her knees crying and pleading for my forgiveness, she said that it was her mother’s illness that made her involve herself in such evil doings, that she could not watch her mother die, that why she was so desperate for the money, but even still her mother died this morning, she paused a while and looked at me,saying again ‘’Mama died,’’ I felt so sad for our lose, she was also like a mother to me, but actually Dooshima caused her poor mother’s death, she continued, saying that, I should please find a place in my heart to forgive her, she added, “if you no longer want to be my friend, It’s okay by me but please dear, forgive me.” I could not utter a word, as I just stood crying and gazing at her. Suddenly I asked her, ‘’Dooshima, you know I have always treated you as a sister and you have always asked me for anything you needed, so why didn’t you ask me for the money to cover Mama’s treatment this time?” her only reply was, ‘’Am so sorry.’’

Notwithstanding, I asked her to stand up, I have forgiven you a long time dear, I said, gently touching her shoulders with tears gushing down my cheeks I again said to her, but always have this in mind, ‘’I’m never going out with you again.”