"STOP!"

“STOP! You can’t take him. I love him! Please please please try to see it through my eyes. Sometimes I wonder why you do this to me. Maybe it's because you are obsessed with me. Maybe it's because you can’t be happy on your own so you come back to me, and you can’t see me be happy with someone else. You know I never loved you right. I felt so bad for you and thought you wouldn’t be able to make it on your own. I always said that we would be together forever because you made me. You try to act like I was the toxic one but it's you. I was scared of you and that is why I didn’t leave you. I should have left you a lot sooner than I did. You would yell at me everyday telling me to leave you alone. I would ask you what I did and you would get in my face and say get away. It wasn’t right! I went home and cried myself to sleep every night. I did what you said every day. Remember that time I broke my arm? Yeah you told me to everyone I fell from a tree. Do you want to know what I did? I told everyone I fell from a tree and they believed it. Doesn’t it bother you to see me crying like this? I mean apparently not because you did it for four months straight. When we broke up you tried to tell everyone at school that I was toxic and didn’t deserve anyone but I got a couple people together and told them everything you did. Oh why the scared look? Are you scared because people now know how you act. Maybe that's why you don’t have a girlfriend. We made a group where us girls can talk about toxic boys. I got together with Jackson and I was terrified. I thought he was gonna hit me and he reassured me that what happened to me in the past wasn’t going to happen again. He tried to get me to do more things like go to restaurants and the mall and it took me a whole month to leave my house without me fearing that he wouldn’t hit me. He never did and I thought wow this is different and I like it.  I never wanted to leave him. And that's when I opened up to him about you. And on our three month anniversary you showed up to my house. You told my dad you wanted to wish me and Jackson a happy anniversary. He told you we weren’t home and he told me you demanded him to tell you where we went. I don’t understand why you picked that day. And now every three months you show up. Today is our nine month anniversary and you still show up. And now all of us are out of high school. We should have moved on from all of this. But you still show up… why? My friends tell me to file a restraining order against you. I tell them that I can’t because I need to figure out what he wants. And maybe one day I will. You can try and give me your story but I have already heard it and I don’t believe it. Nope not one bit. The reason why is because I was so broken over you but life goes on what can you do. But Jackson baby I promise, I swear to you, I’ll be okay. You are the love of my life. Anyway about other boys, you wouldn’t let me talk to other guys. You made me basically hide from them. And one day he brought his boys over and I went upstairs and hid in the room. They asked him what was wrong with his girl and he said actually I don’t know let me go check. He came and checked up on me and made sure I was okay. I told him I was okay and he can go have fun with his boys. And he asked me to come down and see them and become friends with them but I couldn't. I was too scared. Now we are friends and they would protect me with their lives but I always remember how you wouldn’t like this. You really left a permanent scar on me and I feel stupid and like a misfit. But Jackson makes sure I don’t feel like that. I don’t know how or why you act the way you do. I know your mom and dad didn't raise you like this and you weren’t in an abusive relationship before me because I was your first girlfriend. You were my first boyfriend too. We were 15 so I knew this was wrong but I had no way of getting out of that relationship. When I turned 16 I knew I needed to get out. I broke up with you at the end of sophomore year. I didn’t even know if you loved me at all. Did you? Did you love me? I don’t know if I believe you.  I did not believe it would end. I thought you weren’t going to let me go. You were so mad but you surprisingly let me go. I gave you stuff back and I left. Junior year started and I was scared to see you. But I didn’t see you much that year only for a very little amount of time. At the end of junior year me and Jackson became friends and I remember you not liking that. You gave me dirty looks in the hallway. We started talking that summer and when senior year started we were dating. Me, you and Jackson all had a class together. You hated him, but I didn’t even care what you thought. We got out in May. On our nine month anniversary, which is today, you show up harassing my boyfriend. You show up to my house and say that I need to get back with you or you will hurt my boyfriend. Of course I try to stop you but like there isn’t much I can do. I just keep begging until you let him go. You haven’t done anything yet but I feel like you might one day and I’m scared.” Now if only I could tell you this in person.