Bon voyage

The photo showed my mom and dad along with their best friends standing in the basket of an air balloon, smiling and looking excitedly towards takeoff for what was sure to be a grand adventure. Looking at that picture, I couldn’t help but smile. I am sure that picture brought back many fond memories for my mother. Could anything be better than sharing such an experience with her beloved husband and their lifelong friends? 

It was one of the many trips they had taken together over the years. This photo had been featured in a montage of revolving photos featured at my dad’s funeral. A mere four months later, my mom was once again sharing with others the photo along with written memories that she had been asked to submit for her friends’ sixtieth anniversary. The couple had not wanted a party, but their daughter wanted to surprise them with a special memory book. She had asked my mother to help by preparing a written memory of all of their travels together. She could think of no better person.

Sadly, the traveling foursome was no longer complete. My dad had passed away, causing a huge void, an aching hole, in my mother’s life, and also in mine. I missed my dad terribly every day. It was still incomprehensible to me that I was living in a world without him. I kept expecting him to walk through my front door, kept expecting to hear the rattle of his rusty old truck, or look out the window and see him mowing the field riding on his beloved John Deere tractor, suntan lotion smeared on his nose and baseball cap perched on his thinning gray hair. 

His passing made me realize how vital it was to cling to precious memories and celebrate life while still living. Typing the memories of my parents’ travels, while rapidly approaching my own sixtieth birthday, I vowed to myself to do more traveling. This was my year. 

In the fall, my children and I were planning a Caribbean cruise on a luxurious ship that had everything – restaurants serving every type of food imaginable, bars, Broadway style shows, casinos, health clubs, water slides, ice skating rinks, a daycare center for the kids, views to die for, our own personal butler called “the genie”, and more. The genie’s sole job was to grant our every wish, such as bringing Starbucks coffee each morning directly to our room. It would be the trip of a lifetime, I was sure. 

Our ship was billed as the world’s second largest cruise ship. I had submitted my deposit and was in the process of renewing my passport. We still had to make our plane reservation and work out other details, but the trip was in the works. I could scarcely believe I was finally going somewhere. I was excited and nervous at the same time.

I was someone who lived life half assed. I was the type of person who always said they wanted to travel, but somehow never did. I inhaled books, movies, and television shows set in glamorous, romantic locales (my favorite was the Love Boat which was why I was so excited about our cruise!). I dreamt of someday sailing to faraway places myself. Still, somehow, it never happened. I never seemed to have the money, time, travel companions, or simply any ideas of where and when to go. I also wasn’t married, and my significant other was not one to travel, beyond simply going “up north” with his dog to the cabin. Basically, I didn’t have enough nerve to go it alone. My daughter was the one who planned and proposed the trip. I was immensely grateful that she thought to include me. 

I had always been slightly envious of all of the places my parents had been together. How nice it was they had always had each other to travel the world with. My own marriage had not worked out that way. I was of course very happy, however, that they had so many glorious years traveling together. My parents had definitely lived life to the fullest. 

Maybe it wasn’t too late for me. I wanted to emulate them and create my own travel memories. Someday those travel memories might also be shared at my funeral or in a memory book. Still, somehow, I knew it would never match my mom and dad’s itinerary. They had taken many magical trips together as my mother’s entry in the memory book attested.

I once again read what she wrote, and I typed, as her dutiful daughter.

We started out going to Colorado in 1965 where we got sunburned in the mountains. In the early years, we usually went every two years, many times to Washington. In 1969, we watched the moon landing in Port Angeles, Washington after Sam speeding us down the mountain to Olympic National Park. We backpacked national parks in the West, sometimes forced back by the weather – so cooking pancakes in motel parking lots.

Many of these trips included fishing. In Rocky Mt. National Park, we kept the fish we caught overnight and they were gone in the morning. Something had eaten them. The Rocky Mt. trip was spent in an old Army surplus tent at 10,000 feet. We came back with sore feet after long hikes.

Some of the trips were with various family members, mostly including fishing. We fished in Canada and stayed in a cabin where the owner said a bear ripped the screen. We also fished in Florida – off Bonita Beach on a pontoon boat, and in the gulf - a rough boat ride. We also fished in the coastal area off Oregon. We sometimes had wonderful fish dinners or shore lunches.

In Washington, we glissaded (slid in the snow) down Mt. Adams.

Several anniversaries were celebrated. During our 10th anniversary, Ellen sneaked some champagne and plastic glasses in a backpack. Probably the most memorable anniversary trip was Sam and Ellen’s 50th where we went to Paris and London, and took the chunnel. We had a dinner celebration in Scotland. We went on the train where we played Euchre. We also visited Sam’s ancestral castle (Menzies) in Scotland.

When Gus retired for the first time, we rented a camper and spent four weeks in Alaska. It happened to be the summer when it was 100 degrees in Wisconsin. We got together with our other friends Don and Sharon and the guys went fishing for halibut. We visited Denali and stayed in campgrounds where it never got completely dark at night. We took a hand train where you dangle over a river in McCarthy in Wrangell National Park.

In the 90s, we went to England twice with the Smiths, Bill and Lorraine, where we stayed in B & Bs and also went to Scotland. They were also with us on a trip to Switzerland. The year Gus had his prostate cancer surgery, the Smiths went with us to Las Vegas

where our alma mater played football. The power went out during the game when it was almost done. We were left in the dark. The band kept playing, however, preventing panic. During that trip, we also went to the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam.

In the early 2000s, we went on a ferry up along the Norwegian coast - the Hurtigruten -to the Arctic Circle. Lots of wonderful seafood. We also took trips to Germany, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and Austria.

The last European trip was Greece, I believe. The sun shone the whole time. We took a tour to Norway, Sweden, Finland, and St. Petersburg, Russia.

I can’t forget Australia and New Zealand. We spent four weeks there after 14 hours flying, I believe, even after staying in LA overnight. We went to the outback in Australia where we went on a steak fry on a ranch. They said it never rained, but it rained on the steak fry.

Sam, Ellen, and Gus went snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef while I (Darlene) watched the belongings (my choice). We also visited a tropical rainforest and saw penguins further south.

One of the more memorable vacations was to Costa Rica. We stayed in the middle of the Cano Negro Lagoon which is a Wildlife Refugee area of international importance. It contained 350 varieties of birds along with iguanas, turtles, caimans and many others. We saw the black sand beaches. The howler monkeys were above us in the trees.

Ellen went immediately following chemo and did all the activities including ziplining through the rainforest and whitewater rafting. I did go rafting, but not ziplining. Our diet included a lot of beans and rice.

We also did the hot air balloon rally in Albuquerque, New Mexico. One of our last trips was to Washington, D.C. where we used the local transportation and saw all the historical sites.

I almost forgot Cuba which was called an “educational trip”, and I guess it was. The people were so glad to have us – we stayed at a B & B where they didn’t speak much English. They served us breakfast and dinner family style, and we figured out they ate later with our leftovers. It did have a shower and a comfortable bed. They had trouble getting soap and were grateful for the bars of motel soap we brought. We went in late winter and the weather was beautiful. Lots of Canadian, English, and German tourists, but very few Americans.

We rode in an old car driven by a physician who needed the job as their pay is low. Our tour guide was eager to travel to the US but was having trouble getting a visa. 

It has been 60 years full of adventures for our group. Happy anniversary!

As I thought about these memories my parents made, I realized that it was sixty years of trips for them, and I was turning sixty. They had started traveling when I was just a baby. I stayed with my beloved grandparents during their trips. Naturally, they also were now gone. I liked to picture my grandparents up in heaven playing Euchre, or 500, with my father. They had always enjoyed playing cards together, often on family trips that all of us had taken together – parents, grandparents, and kids. I had also gone on many family trips together with my parents, both with and without their friends. 

Life comes full circle. Now it's my time to travel with my own kids and grandchildren. Even though I have a serious health problem myself and almost died once, I still have some time left in this world. At least, I think so.

I continue to miss my dad each and every day, but maybe his spirit lives on through me. In fact, I know it does. No longer will I do things halfway, but I will now live life to the fullest. This is a promise. Maybe someday I will zip line, see howler monkeys perched in a tree, or scary caiman in the water. Maybe I will glissade down a mountain, fish from a pontoon boat in the Gulf, or take a hot air balloon ride in the desert. The world is mine for the taking. 

Thank you mom and dad. Bon voyage!