The Gossip Girl

Lily was born with a trusting face. The type of face that pulls all of the secrets out of you. If one of her friends has a new crush, or her Math teacher is fighting with her English teacher, or her neighbors have been conducting some shady business in their backyard, Lily is the first to hear about it. Although gossip should not be taken as fact, as soon as Lily mentions any rumors to someone else, that rumor does, believe it or not, become fact. 

Too often has Lily mentioned a perceived scandal around school has the gossip immediately become fact. It’s not that Lily wants these things to come true, it’s not something that she can control. Almost like a power beyond her grasp, from another realm, or another life. Lily first started noticing this effect when she started high school. Gossip didn’t really start to pick up until middle school. It wasn’t every rumor that came true and the ones that did, she had assumed it was a coincidence. By Freshman year, the gossip had really started rolling in. Soon, every rumor, big or small, that Lily spread had come true. It felt like her power was growing. By Sophomore year, she vowed never to spread another rumor or gossip ever again. 

Then her parents started fighting more and more and louder and louder. It was infuriating having to come home from school and pretend like she couldn’t feel the tension. They tried to hide it from her but you can't hide as much as you think you can from kids. They notice everything and if you don’t show them how to deal with it properly, it eats them alive. Lily, with her new found power, knew she couldn’t confide in anyone about her parents fighting and her fear of their impending divorce. She did everything she could to keep them from fighting when it was the three of them together and she could not be the reason they divorce. 

One day, after soccer practice, her friend Megan came over, unannounced, to pick up her shin guards that Lily had borrowed. Megan witnessed the bickering that led to shouting and asked Lily if everything was okay. This was when Lily broke. She cried into her friend's arms and babbled out everything that had been going on over the past few months through gasping cries. She told Megan everything. Two weeks later, her parents sat her down to break the news of the divorce. 

Although she saw it coming, it still broke her heart. Not only would she have to endure the added chaos that was separate holidays, switching houses on a weekly basis, etc. But, Lily was an only child, meaning now that her parents didn’t have each other, they each only had her. And that is a lot of pressure for a 15 year old, having to be the one that your parents depend on. They only have you to confide in, to lean on during tough times, to pick up the slack. It was a tough battle that Lily was preparing to fight. But she knew she only had herself to blame so it was a challenge that Lily would have to rise up to. 

Sophomore year was not off to a great start. Every day at lunch, her friends used their free time to gossip about everyone and everything. It was like a disease, running rampant in the lunchroom. Lily chose not to partake, deeming her useless for discussion. Eventually her friends noticed and slowly stopped talking to her altogether. She became a silent bystander watching her peers connect and contribute. Her voice fading into the background, made her feel like she would physically start to disappear. 

After school, Lily came home to both of her parents sitting at the dining room table, waiting for her arrival. Replicating the day they told her about the divorce, this gave Lily a queasy feeling as she approached them. “Have a seat Lily, your mom and I want to talk to you”, her dad said, repeating the exact words from that fateful day. 

Her mom started, “Lily, we noticed you haven’t been acting like yourself lately, is everything okay?” 

“You can talk to us, honey”, her dad added.

“Everything’s fine”, Lily said, unintentionally sounding offended. Or maybe she was offended. How could I act like myself when no one in this household has acted like themselves for months? How could anything be okay when I have single handedly ruined my life?

“We know the separation hasn’t been easy on you and we just want to make sure you’re handling it well”, said her dad. 

“How’s everything at school?”, her mom asked. “I haven’t seen Megan or Rachel around. Do you still hang out with them?”

“Sometimes”, Lily sulked. 

“Maybe you could invite them over for a movie night or a sleepover!” her mom said excitedly.

Lily wouldn’t even know how to ask her friends to hangout anymore. 

“Yeah, maybe”, Lily said unconvincingly.

“I can drop you girls off at the mall!”, her dad said.

“No one goes to the mall anymore”, her mom said with an irritated tone, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She wasn’t wrong, but still, she didn’t need to say it like that.

“I don’t want to go to the mall, or have a movie night, or a sleepover! I don’t even talk to Megan and Rachel anymore!”

“Oh honey, why not?”, her mom asked.

“I can’t talk to them! All they do is gossip. All anyone does is gossip! And it’s not that I don’t want to gossip, I do! But everything I gossip about comes true and I can’t take it anymore! Tammy got caught using lip fillers and now everyone calls her fish face, George got in trouble for selling his adderall pills, Tom cheated on Ariana with her best friend Raquel, and you and dad are getting divorced and it’s all my fault, all of it!

“What?!”, said her dad. “Oh my” said her mom simultaneously.

“I don’t think any of that is your doing, sweetie”, her dad assured her.

“Of course it isn’t!” said her mom. “Lily, none of those things happened just because you talked about them.” 

“Yes they did. Everything I talk about comes true.” Lily said.

“Lily, people are going to make their own decisions, and they will have to face the consequences of their bad ones. And, although it's not great to gossip, their actions are not your responsibility.” said her mom.

“That’s right, and when it comes to your mother and I getting divorced, that is absolutely not your fault. You are the shining light in this family and if we didn’t have you, we would have split up a long time ago.”

“Todd, please,” said her mom. But Lily felt relieved. 

Maybe she didn’t have superpowers like she thought. Maybe all of the rumors she spread had already been true before Lily got involved. 

The next day at lunch, Lily tried something she hadn’t done in awhile. She gossiped. She took in everything that her friends were saying and contributed with information that she had gained from her time being invisible. Turns out you can learn way more when people don’t realize you’re listening. Talking with her friends, she also realized that she had underestimated them. Gossiping wasn’t the only thing they talked about. It was just the only thing Lily paid attention to before. Gossiping isn’t a terrible thing like people make it out to be. It’s a way for people to connect, to gather information, to share. But it’s not the end all, be all either. It can be a gateway to other conversations and learning about each other and to experience things together.