Dear Penpal, I am sorry.

Dear Penpal, 

My teacher and counselor thought it would be a great idea to get a penpal. I don’t know where you live, I am rather curious.. I am from Arizona, and I am in 10th grade. I would love to chat and see what you are about! I guess letters will do, this sounds like a fun idea! Let me know what you think Elisa! 

-Drew

Dear Penpal,

Your teacher and counselor made you do this? Wow, you must be a troubled one.. it’s fine! So am I honestly, I hang out in the stalls more than the classrooms. I am also in tenth grade, it is an ok grade, whatever! Anyway, I am completely into this idea, beats the stupid people in this school. Looking forward to your response!

-Elisa 

Dear Penpal,

I am so glad you responded, you are so right! The teachers in this school have screwed me. I am so over this school everyone is so weak and annoying. Tenth grade is so weird, you don’t know who your real friends are and you try so hard to be cool to keep up your status. Anyway, do you have pets?

-Drew

Dear Drew,

Can we start writing each other’s names now? I feel like we graduated to this. I like you now! I have the cutest chihuahua named Princess. She goes everywhere with me! She is very fierce. Don’t tell me your status is popular boy, I have enough of those in school. They are huge jerks! Teachers are the only thing helping me right now. I feel like my school bully has been stepping off lately. Who are your pets?

-Elisa

Dear Elisa,

I completely agree with you! First name bases it is! Why are you getting bullied? You sound like such a cool girl! I believe we have been hitting it off so well. What I would do is stay away far as possible. Bullies are born from hurt. I know it sucks, they just probably have been bullied themselves. And Princess sounds like the most basic name for a chihuahua oh god! I think it’s cute, my dog is named Spot, I will not tell you what type of dog he is, I will let you guess! Anyway, keep your head up you got this! 

-Drew

Dear Drew,

First of all! Yes. It is basic to have a chihuahua named Princess. You know my little 4 year old sister named her? I wanted to name her Sushi but nooooo. And second of all, you probably Own a pit bull or something.. probably a Dalmatian because of the name spot. You probably order nitro cold brew at Starbucks or something. I saw my bully today again and he was very hurtful. I do not know what is up with him. He has been quiet on me then boom, he came up to me and told me some hurtful things. Whatever they did to him at school or home, I do not deserve it. Anyway, what’s your favorite type of food? Movie? Ice-cream?

-Elisa 

ps. You are kind of my only outlet.. please keep being nice to me. 

Dear Elisa,

One thing I really like about you is that the past few weeks we have been talking, you had made me smile. I go home to my parents fighting and my dad yelling profanities at me. I love seeing the counselor a lot more lately handing me the note. To answer your question, yes. I do like nitros. Don’t tell me you are a pink drink girl. . If you are a pink drink girl, you are now considered my official dream girl. Sorry that guy is out to get you, I don’t know why people are like this.. you are a really nice girl! Do not listen to him. And you are so wrong about it by the way, right about the coffee, wrong about the dog. It is a corgi. Movie is Wolf on wall street, Ice cream is cookies and cream, and food is burgers of course! How about you? 

-Drew

-I will always be nice to you. 

Dear Drew,

I am so glad you are in my life. I was almost tempted to ask you to phone call, I don’t know if that will break the rules or anything, but I really want to talk to you more. I like wolf on Wall Street! Pizza is better and I am a Mango dragon drink does that mean I can be your second favorite dream girl? I am sorry about your parents.. this world is not fair at all. I had it up to here with these people. My parents had me at 14 so they are somewhere out there doing whatever, I was adopted by some “nice” couple, in reality, they are raging alcoholics. They started out decently, but now. They can’t handle their stuff. I had to baby sit the children they had after me. To top it off, my bully at school wont quit. It’s like he’s nice to me but then he comes back around to hurt me. Life is not fair, I hate to sound so “life is unfair” but man, this is not ok.. 

-Elisa

Dear Elisa.

I am so sorry, I never realize people go through so much.. I am going to be blunt, I am also having a bad time in school, home is not good as well. I have realized words do hurt. I think I have a problem. What would you tell your bully if you could tell him anything? Would you just tell him to back off?? Pretend I am him. What would you tell him? 

-Drew

Dear Drew,

I have Made the worst mistake of my entire life I could never take back! I am so sorry I have not responded for months, so what happened was, I have this cousin Angie coming over for a few days. The day after I read your letter, my mom and dad went on a date night, my brothers and sisters were sleeping and my cousin Angie and I thought it would be a great idea to smoke some weed in my room to take the edge off. We smoked so much…out of the sudden We start hearing thumps and run out the room. My little sister accidentally fell down a couple of stairs Trying to find mom.. you might wonder, why didn’t she have a stair block? We went and got snacks and worried about tripping over it. I rather had it been me than her. It was just a five step.. I am such an idiot.. parents came home and blamed me for the whole thing. I feel so awful about this. My cousin was forced to go home early and they took her to my sister to the hospital. She came home a few weeks later, but she was not ok. She is dealing with a lot of broken bones. It is my fault,I am a huge failure. I did not want to go to school I have begged and pleaded but I was forced to. I want to stay close to her and take care of her but they do not let me near her. I just stay in my room and stare at the ceiling wondering when it will end.. my parents hate me, my siblings won’t even look my way, I feel the most heated person in the world. I just can’t. I feel like I owe you an explication, I feel like I ghosted you. I am so sorry.

-Elisa

Dear Elisa, 

Holy crap! That really all just happen? That is insanity! I hope she is well, she is alive and she will heal, 

Things like this happen all the time. What did you tell your mother? And also, anything more you need to talk about? I am here for you. I miss you. If you are doing drugs, there must’ve been something bad happening before. If I am too in your business, I am sorry.

-Drew

Dear Drew! 

No don’t worry its ok! Like I said, you are my only outlet.. 

I promised her I did not mean it and she saw me flying high as a kite. She called me irresponsible and out of anger she has told me she wishes she never adopted me… she’s right. She shouldn’t have, maybe her little girl wouldn’t be so hurt right now. It’s a good thing my mom didn’t want this out in the school. Nobody at my school talks to me. I only talk to one person. But this person doesn’t really talk much back to me, he just talks to me a little in school in class. I can’t vent like this, people in school do not like me. The reason I have been smoking is because I just can’t handle it. I just want to disappear. 

-Elisa

Dear Elisa,

I am truly sorry about this. I wish I knew you, I would’ve been there for you. I would give you huge hugs and hold you tight until you sleep. I really want you out of this situation. How are you doing now? I wish we talked more, waiting a week between letters really is starting to scare me. I am tempted to look for you underneath the rocks! Are you near? Do you live around Arizona?? You have to because letters get here so fast..

-Drew

Ps. I need to know where you are, I will escape school now and come get you. 

Dear Drew,

My situation has been worse, my sister is doing much better, a little therapy here and there but my mom still hates me. Being hated at home is the worst feeling in the whole world. I just want to stay here in this corner forever. I don’t want to go anywhere, I have not done anything, I just want be numb. 

-Elisa

Dear Elisa,

Elisa, I am so concerned about you. Please reach out to me. 

-Drew.

Dear Drew, 

Have you noticed the sun in Arizona is so hot? I cannot step outside without getting hit by the heat like an oven. They told me I need to see the counselor more and more.. I wish I knew you… you live in Arizona I re read in your old letter.. wanna meet up? Why not! Life is shitty and I am this close to losing my mind.. I may runaway from home.

Dear Elisa,

Oh my goodness! You live in Arizona too? I go to Crest view! Go Bears! Which school do you go to? And also, how are things with your bully? He still giving you a hard time? We should definitely meet, I am so concerned for you. I need you. Where do you go to school?… let’s find each other and walk out of that school, let us live alone somewhere, maybe a hotel?maybe escape in my car to a different state? Change our names or something, get food, get away from all of this. I need you alive. This is so hard just talking to you like this. I NEED TO find you. 

-Drew

Dear Drew,

YES! I go to this school, he honestly hasn’t done much since Monday, he stopped for a while but then lashed out for no reason. I hope this note gets to you and the counselor is not reading all of these. I have a suspicion she has set us up together… how is it we go to the same exact school and don’t know each other? Or maybe we do? I will be wearing a pink headband, my hair is long and brown with a pink shirt with hearts. Come to me. Then we can both just run out of that school and find adventures together. Like the ones you have told me about… I need this.. bad. 

-Elisa. 

My Dearest Elisa.

When I saw you today at school, it Broke my heart it was you I have been mean to this whole time. The tears in your eyes when you told me everything you have said.. the truth. But what is not true, is that I have played you, I did not make this to pull jokes on you or anything! This was honestly just an accident. I don’t now why I kept being an ass to that girl after you telling me how your bully made you feel. Which was indeed me.. you are truly beautiful inside and out but I have such dark issues I will fix. I promise I will fix myself and we will run away together.. I am truly sorry, I fell in-love with a stranger. You were the only one there for me in a sea of fake people. Yet there is me, Promising I won’t hurt you, yet hurt you in school. Please respond.

-Drew

Dear Elisa,

I am so sorry. I have not seen you in school. I promise I am not playing you. I will seek the counselor and beg her to give me your information because I cannot find you anywhere. Tried to ask your friends but….I’m sorry. 

-drew.

Dear Elisa.

It has been a month. The school had an anti bullying assembly with your picture on it. I will forever be hurt and will never ever mess with any one else in my life. That Is a promise. I fell inlove with the way you talked, our banter, the way you opened up and listened, I am the worst person in the world. I will forever miss you. I have learned my lesson the hardest way possible. . Rest in Peace Elisa… 

-Drew.

Walking around the school hallways have never felt so cold. My friends were talking amongst them selves while others were walking towards the wall where they had flowers piling for the girl I once knew. Elisa Jones. The counselor comes up to me and leads me to her office. 

“I have a confession. I am the counselor so I see everything. I had the brilliant Idea for you to have a penpal to get you out of trouble. But what I really did was set you two up..” my eyes widened and my hairs stood up..shaking my leg I asked “you realize what you have done?” “I didn’t know it will lead to this.” “I am out.” “Before you go, here, take this!” I see a pink letter. “What is this a joke? She’s dead!” “This was her last letter she sent the Friday before she… she went..” I grabbed it slowly and ran to my room and read it. 

Dear Drew.

I have always told you the truth. Even though you were sorry and pleaded every time I saw you, I could not bare to look at your face. You truly hurt me when you didn’t know me and you hurt me when you knew me. I thought we had a great thing going but apparently not. I was played. I asked you over and over to not be mean and you were my only outlet. Things have gotten worse the night we were supposed to have our grand escape. I went home raging in anger and my mother slapped me. I went in my room and thought of a different plan to escape. This is my letter to say I will make my peace to forgive you and I hope you are nicer to people now. I cannot handle it anymore. I hope you are ok and you escape from your family. I love you.

-Elisa. 

I LOVE YOU Elisa..

Words really do hurt people and I truly hurt you.