The Search

“I have a gut feeling about it. It has to be a routing issue. I’ll swing by to check it out. Oh, you have a meeting? Alright, is 4:30 good? Trust me, it’s just a routing issue. I’m a pro at solving mysteries. It’s my job, remember? Alright, take care.” 

Gautam sighed, clicking off his headset. He pushed his shirt sleeve up. His tattoo was still blush red and stinging.

“New tattoo?” His co-worker, Jaclyn asked, sipping coffee from her styrofoam cup. She rested her elbows on his cubicle ledge.

“Yeah, just got it actually.” He pulled his sleeve down to quickly cover it. 

“10-30-16. Must be a pretty significant date.”

“You could say that.” He said peering over at a framed photo on his work desk. 

“I like tattoos. Not everyone can pull them off. Derek has full sleeves you know. I’m sure I’ll see them tonight at Ridge. It’s that new beach bar near Castaway Grill.” 

“I dunno.” Gautam said, pretending to sort his emails. “I don’t have a good feeling about this guy. My gut is telling me you should dump him and my gut’s never wrong. Tinder guys treat women like dirt. And you’re much better than dirt. You deserve someone better.” 

“You care about my love life way more than a co-worker should.” She said coyly.  

He clicked his pen, changing the subject. “I see you’re taking another coffee break. What’s that, four times today?”

“Someone’s pretty observant.” She teased. “Besides, recruitment season is slow right now. I have plenty of time to finish my admin work and walk around and drink coffee. I’d chat with Emma but I haven’t seen her since she broke for lunch.” She took a swig from her cup unbothered. 

Gautam clicked on a new tab. “That’s weird. According to the time record system she never clocked in after lunch.”

“College interns.” Her eyes rolled. “She probably went for a Starbucks since the break room coffee wasn’t sweet enough or something.” 

Gautam clicked the security footage of the ground floor of the parking garage. Emma’s reserved space was still occupying her Toyota Corolla. 

“Well, aren’t you the spy. I didn’t know you had access to this.” Jaclyn said over his shoulder. 

“I’m head of IT. I have a lot more power than you think I do.” 

Jaclyn seemed unfazed plucking the lint off her cardigan. “I’m sure she’ll turn up. Back to the grind.” She sauntered off. 

Gautam tapped his pen on the desk. Something felt off to him. He opened his Microsoft Teams and opened a new chat with Kaitlyn, the marketing intern. 

Hey Kaitlyn, did you have lunch with Emma today?

No, she said she wasn’t hungry. 

Did she seem ok?

What do you mean? 

Did she seem distracted or anything?

Um… well she hasn’t kept my Snap streak going if that’s what you mean lol.

Gautam looked back at Emma’s desk once more. A pair of car keys were left by a half drunk Smartwater. Her backpack was under her desk. Her legal notepad and one black Sharpie she kept by her work laptop were gone. He scratched his tattoo under his shirt. He searched Emma’s number through the company directory and called her. 

Straight to voicemail. 

He looked at his framed photo to the left of his monitor. It was of him and a friend smiling together at Diwali. A banner hung in the background against a sky ablaze with fireworks displaying the date, 10-30-16. Tears formed in his eyes. “You were so happy that night. Why did you do it?” He whispered to the picture. 

Gautam heard the office door swing open. It was only Terrence the receptionist. Still no Emma. His gut sat like steel inside his body. 

Something wasn’t right. 

Swiftly, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He typed in a private tab only permitted for the head of IT.

Search engine history, Emma Hill, Employee #54311.

ENTER.

Dozens of websites appeared from the past week. They all had one running theme…

Stress.

There were Reddit questions on how to cope with stress for college students and females in their early 20s. Google Map searches for therapy offices in the nearby area. Library orders on books combating depression. YouTube videos on breathing and meditation techniques. Spotify playlists for instant mood lifts. WebMD symptoms of anxiety disorders. 

Then the most recent search…

Suicide hotline.

Gautam gasped, pushing his chair away from the monitor. His mouth went dry and his forehead dampened with cold sweat. 

Jaclyn caught sight of his behavior from her desk and proceeded cautiously towards him. 

“You okay?” She asked, concerned.

Just then Kaitlyn approached his cubicle.

“Hey Gautam, what’s with that odd message you sent me about Emma?”

“What message?” Jaclyn asked, growing uneasy. 

Suddenly, a thought struck him. 

“Kaitlyn, your snapchat.” He ordered. 

“What about it?” 

“Where is Emma? Check her location on Snap Map.”

Kaitlyn checked within a few phone taps.

“It looks like she’s on the top floor of the parking garage.” 

The tone of the situation was enough to drive them all to the elevator with the same thought.

The elevator rose. Seconds dragged for what felt like hours ascending up each floor. Gautam had never heard a more satisfying sound than the ping of the elevator door opening. Yet as he rushed out his stomach lurched. 

He didn’t want to picture it again. 

Not another life taken too soon.

His ears rang dully as sweat dripped down his temples. Emma’s name was shrilled franticly from Jaclyn and Kaitlyn through his muffled hearing. 

All Gautam could see were blurred images of his co-workers scrambling. He blinked rapidly and then saw it.

Emma was safe.

Jaclyn and Kaitlyn tightly embraced her. Their cries of relief mingled with Jaclyn’s comforting words. 

A page from a legal pad sat on the ledge of the parking garage scribbled with Emma’s words.

A brisk wind released the note off the ledge. Gautam watched it fly in the air. It floated through the burning sunlight over the highway traffic consumed with speeding and honking cars. The note flew over the waves of the ocean on the other side of the bridge into nature’s abyss.

Gautam collected his breath gazing out onto the ocean waves beginning to calm himself.

He recited the eulogy read aloud from his late friend’s funeral in his head.

“Love is always the answer. Civilization cannot survive without the power of love and kindness we must give to one another. We can never fully grasp what an individual is being challenged with. Because of that, it is our sacred obligation not merely as humans but as miraculous souls who’ve been given the gift of life, to extend compassion, listen, and be kind to one another. Above all, we must learn to love others because that itself is the true meaning of life.”