I Don't Understand

Author's Note: This story contains material depicting the loss of a pet. Those who have experienced this tragedy and have accordingly been scarred by the pain, please take a moment to compose yourself.

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My name is Willow, and I am the luckiest cat in the world. I am the luckiest cat in the world because my daddy is vastly superior to any other daddy. Yes, he’s a Human, but he’s my Human, and I wouldn’t trade him for all the catnip in the universe.

They call him Edward. I don’t know what that means, but he gives me the best scratches behind the ears, and his belly rubs are so gentle that they’ve been known to put me to sleep, so it must mean something good. He gives me baths in the giant water bowl every Saturday, but he never lets the stuff he calls soap get into my eyes. This makes me happy, especially after I dry off, when my black fur looks so shiny that it glows.

Sitting on my kitty table at the window, I suddenly remember that today is Friday. Yes! The sky looks dark and sad, but today will still be perfect. Fridays are always the same. Daddy will get home right as the big noise maker dongs six times. Because it’s Friday, he’ll have two fish boxes from the big building down the street, and one of them is mine! All mine! If I’m lucky, I’ll even get some of his fish. He’ll get clean from work, and we’ll watch the magic box show where Humans try to kill each other inside the rope box (even though they never succeed). After that, I’ll curl up with a full belly and sleep while he plays what he calls his stress relaxer and talks to other Humans who aren’t really there. When he gets tired, he’ll go to bed, and I’ll get to sleep next to his face in my very own kitty bed!

Yes, I do have the absolute best daddy on the planet.

I can no longer contain my excitement. Oh, how I wish my daddy were here to hear my purring. It’s so loud it’s making my table shake! It’s Friday, and I can already smell the fish frying down the road!

Behind me, the big noise maker begins to dong, like it does every hour.

Dong.

Dong.

Dong.

Dong.

Dong.

Dong.

My purring instantly stops, and now I turn my head towards the door. I don’t like this. Something’s wrong.

Daddy’s late.

He’s never late.

I don’t understand.

Finally, just as the noise maker begins to make its dongs again, the door opens, and Daddy walks in. Yay! It’s still Friday and can still be a perfect—

No.

Something is seriously wrong.

He has no fish boxes in his hands, and—this isn’t right. I can smell the frying fish from down the street. Why does Daddy not have our fish boxes?

Why does the Edward look so sad?

He ignores me. He ignores me! Daddy never ignores me when coming home from what he calls his job. So, why is he ignoring me today?

I don’t understand.

I meow, then I purr as I rub against his leg. I’ve seen him sad before, but Willow Loves always makes him smile.

He doesn’t smile.

I don’t understand.

Instead of my usual head scratches, he disappears into his bedroom. I don’t know how long he stays there, but it feels like forever. I sit there, in the same spot, worried about my daddy.

Finally, he walks out of his room—but—what—

He’s carrying my prison box. I hate my prison box. Why does he have my prison box? I again rub against his leg, but he still ignores me.

I don’t understand.

He sets it on my kitty table and opens the cage door. I watch in worried fear as he takes my blanky from his chair and puts it in the prison box.

What—

Before I can even finish that thought, however, he grabs me by the scruff of my neck and forces me into the prison box.

“I’m sorry, Willow.” He whispers as he locks the cage door. Why is Daddy sorry?

I don’t understand.

Daddy picks my prison box up and carries me to the door. He takes me down the stone stairs and sits me on the ground before turning to lock the door. The sky water is falling now.

I hate the sky water.

Can I not at least have my stuffed Santa Claus? I love my toys, but especially this one. It’s my favorite toy. Why can’t I have my stuffed Santa Claus?

I don’t understand.

Daddy picks my prison box up once more and carries me to his Vroom Vroom. He calls it a car, but Vroom Vroom sounds so much more dignified—and accurate.

He opens the back door and pushes my prison box into the back seat. Anytime he takes me to see the monster that he calls the Veterinarian, I at least get to ride in the front, next to him. Why can’t I sit next to my daddy?

I don’t understand.

Daddy gets into his seat, and suddenly the world begins to spin and turn. How long I’m in the Vroom Vroom, I don’t know. I know only that this trip takes longer than my usual visits to the Veterinarian Monster. Why is this trip taking so much longer?

I don’t understand.

When the Vroom Vroom finally stops, Daddy sits in his seat. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t talk. He doesn’t look back at me. Instead, he puts his head against the circle thingy he uses to control the Vroom Vroom, and he cries.

Why is Daddy crying?

I don’t understand.

Finally, he gets out and comes to the back door. When he pulls my prison box out, the sky water is falling harder than ever. I try to be brave, but I can’t. I curl up at the back of my prison box, where it’s still dry. At least I’ll be safe here.

Daddy takes me inside this building with bright lights and sits me in a chair in the far corner of a big room. He then begins to talk to another Human at a counter. She gives him some papers, but Daddy doesn’t roll them into balls for me to play with. Instead, he quickly writes on them.

Once he’s finished, Daddy and the spare Human walk over to my prison box.

Finally!

Daddy opens the cage door.

I’m free!

No. The spare Human reaches in and grabs me. She asks Daddy if he’d like a minute alone, but he shakes his head and walks out the door with my prison box and my favorite blanky in his hand.

Where’s Daddy going?

Why am I not going with him?

I don’t understand.

The spare Human tells me it’ll be okay, but I don’t believe her. She’s lying. She’s lying because my Daddy’s not here, and if my Daddy’s not here, it’s not okay.

The spare Human takes me through a different door and down a dark, narrow hallway. We enter a room full of cold, metal prison boxes. She puts me in one and shuts the door. She says nothing else before she turns the light off and walks out.

It’s cold. It’s dark.

I’m scared.

I’ve never spent a night without Daddy, not since he brought me home when I was a little kitten.

Why can’t I be back at home with Daddy? Why can’t I be eating my fried fish out of the white box as we watch the magic box? Why can’t I have my Daddy cuddles and sleep in my soft bed?

I don’t understand.

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I miss my Daddy. It feels like forever since I saw him. Where is he? I’ve cried and meowed so much my mouth hurts. When can I go back to my home, my toy Santa Claus, and my soft bed? How long have I been gone? Where is my Daddy?

I don’t understand.

I feel weak. I’m tired. I’m scared. I paw at the kitty nibble they put in my prison box, but it’s not food. Not really.

The door to the room opens, and a Veterinarian Monster walks in. She’s not my Veterinarian Monster, but she’s still a Veterinarian Monster. I can smell it on her. She stops in front of my prison box and kneels so that she’s looking at me. Her face seems almost gentle for a monster.

She reaches into her white coat and pulls out a sheet of paper. After reading it, she looks at me again and then looks back at the spare Human who took me from Daddy. But Daddy’s not here. Where’s my daddy?

I don’t understand.

“No offers?”

The spare Human shakes her head. The monster sighs. She sounds almost sad.

“Then let’s get on with it.”

The spare Human opens my prison box and pulls me out. As we follow the Veterinarian Monster into the next room, the spare Human pets me behind the ears.

I hiss. Rather, I try. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

Her pets don’t hurt, but—no. She’s not my daddy.

In this new room, there’s a dark metal chair like the ones that Daddy uses when his litter comes over every year, and a big, shiny table.

I try to hiss again.

The spare Human lays me on the table. It’s cold.

“It’ll be okay.”

I try to hiss a third time. She’s lying. I know she’s lying.

The Veterinarian Monster pulls out what Daddy once called a big needle and then approaches me. She’s going to give me more medicine. But this makes no sense. Daddy’s always with me when I get my yearly shots. Where’s my daddy?

I don’t understand.

Odd. I barely feel it stick me. It doesn’t hurt like it usually does. This is different.

Immediately, I feel sleepy, like I do after my fish box. But it’s not warm and lovable, like with Daddy. It’s cold and distant. I look around, though I can barely move my head.

The Veterinarian Monster and spare Human are watching me in silence, but I don’t care about them. Why is everything getting so dark?

She gives me a second shot. I—where—where’s my Daddy?

I don’t—

The End