Yelling At The TV; The Journey To Becoming a Sporto

In the world, there are sporty people and non-sporty people. As a child, as an adolescent, even as a young adult, I was non-sporty. Until one day I woke up and I was in the other circle. It was as if a switch had flipped and I was obsessed. Give me everything, I love it all. I love hockey, I am obsessed with football. I would watch lacrosse every day if they aired it. Basketball is interesting but I prefer the NCAA over NBA. I even watched Tennis for a little while. The journey to get there was something wild.

 My parents begged and pleaded with me to play hockey. I vehemently, stubbornly said no, year after year. I loved to skate but no, I was not going to play hockey. Both my parents, being the athletic types they were, decided that they would move on from hockey and go onto my mother’s preferred sport of baseball. The first summer I was able, my parents had me play T-ball. Home video evidence shows I was more interested in filling my glove with the diamond’s gravel than any of the balls that they sent out into the field but for some reason, I have a second summer’s participation trophy.

It has been said that physical education is the easiest mark to obtain in your schooling. Unless you are an unsporty person, in my case it was ALWAYS my lowest mark. I understand you virtually just have to try but I had not a lick of interest. “Oh let’s chase a ball, and kick it back overr there” BIIIIIG deal. I would slowly follow along but I was not about to chase that ball. 

My report cards often indicated I needed to make an effort and my grades would improve. I have vivid memories of myself and a friend walking around during gym class hockey pretending our sticks were scythes a la the Grim Reaper. We thought this was pure hilarity. The sportos in our class found us absolutely deplorable and we never understood why. We could never understand how they found these unimportant games so serious.

While the boys of our grade played football at recess, we found great pleasure in interrupting their plays. Dancing between their movements and causing havoc wherever we could. We got in trouble for it often but we really didn’t care. On the days we got caught before recess was over, we took our fun in narrating their plays in dramatic voices with inaccurate terms. I blame them for taking over the entire field. 

I find it a very funny story to tell that my physical education mark in the 9th grade improved exponentially from first term to second when I had injured myself on a canoe trip. Here I am sitting on the sidelines, barely participating and I am getting a better mark than when I was “supposedly” participating. In Canada, physical education is only mandatory until grade 9 and unsurprisingly I did not take it beyond. I did however, take Dance in 11th and 12th as well as from age 10 and beyond as an extracurricular. It is not that I did not enjoy moving my body or moving my body with other people. I just had no competitiveness, I had no drive to follow a ball.

When I reached college age, I also reached my physical peak in a very negative way. I ballooned physically to a very large size for my short frame. I had always been a chubby kid, always on the larger size but this was beyond. I was about to max out at “regular people” stores. I decided I needed to make a change. Now, most of these were dietary but I also started walking and working out. Simple exercises that used my own weight against me resulted in 50 pounds shed in a few months. I felt lighter and much more athletic. 

At this point in my life, I was completing a college work placement at a Day Program for individuals with developmental disabilities. A group was outside playing hockey and a few of the gentlemen invited me out to play. Believe me when I say that I was shocked to hear “yes” come out of my own mouth. Once we were in our winter gear, it became obvious that many of the staff members didn’t actually play but I truly wanted to and I did! Another surprise was that I enjoyed running around while going for the ball and razzing the gentlemen and staff on the other team. I finally got a taste of this competition thing.

For a few years, my only real taste of my competition was against myself, aside from once yearly watch of the Super Bowl - of which I always cheered against Tom Brady, don’t ask me why I just detested the man. I became accustomed to the gym, learned to workout and entered the workforce as a support worker in a group home for individuals with developmental disabilities. It was when I transferred houses that my sporty life truly started to take shape. 

I went from a predominantly female household to a household of gentlemen and they all loved hockey. Now, I may have made it seem like I detested the sport but that is not the case at all, I am Canadian. I just didn’t want to play, I didn’t follow it but I did enjoy sitting with my dad or Poppa while they hollered at the television. I am ashamed to admit it today but when Tavares was traded to Toronto in 2018, I thought he was a baseball player. I still wasn’t following hockey as deeply as I would be a few short years later. 

As a support worker, I always believed beyond the main health and safety of the individuals stuff, my job was to ensure the guys I supported were living a fulfilled life in their community. My guys liked to have fun. My guys liked to watch sports. So we did both! Every night after Jeopardy (I was so fortunate they liked a show that I also loved), I would search the sports channels for whatever hockey game was on. However, if it was leafs they would already have their jerseys on and be ready! Every close goal, or bad hit announced, we were there for it! Celebrations would be had for every goal. Actual leafs games were too expensive so we’d concede and enjoy seeing the AHL version - The Marlies which was just as enjoyable. I had begun to get so invested at work that I started watching at home too, without my dad? It was like living in a twilight zone. Even my grandma couldn’t believe the day I walked into the room of men watching hockey instead of the women and snacks at an Easter gathering. Now there is just sports with everyone and I think I caused that transition.

When the hockey season was over, the group needed something interesting to watch while we waited. We began watching the Rodeo events cast from the Calgary Stampede as well as Baseball although I had and still find that absolutely boring as all get out. I do like watching in person games and listening on the radio but I think the television announcers put you right to sleep. Wake me up when hockey comes back.

Another year of watching hockey every day with the guys and going to whatever games we could. At this point, I’m a glorified gym rat, when the unthinkable happens, I lose my ability to move. In this period of unknown, I begin to focus on television. I watch more and more hockey. I began to enjoy UFC fight nights. I was in a good routine enjoying these two sports with this unknown illness plaguing my body and the world shuts down. Enter COVID-19, I have once again lost the thing I enjoy. Fortunately, most sports came back very fast! Although the silence was eerie, I thoroughly enjoyed bubble hockey. I would hockey all day every day until the cup was crowned. It was amazing to watch the 5 period game while I sewed masks. Nothing has ever compared, truly.

Once the Stanley Cup was awarded, I was lost. I had no excitement in my life, my days were monotonous. What in the world was I going to do with myself? It was then that I realized how frequently football was played. The NFL plays Thursday, all day Sunday and Monday. I began to watch and learn the rules of the game. I found a team that was worth following and I started to understand what the appeal was.

Football is slow until it isn’t. Those fast moments make it amazing. I finally understood it. I was hooked. I still to this day don’t understand how it grabbed me but I wanted every second. I became that person screaming at the television. I have enough gear to be dressed in my team’s colours daily. I watched every possible airing throughout the season. That should have been good enough and yet, it wasn’t.

I had begun to follow March Madness which to those who are athletically inclined, that is a new sport. NCAA Basketball to be exact. Multiple weeks of squeaking shoes across the sleek floor and fun commercials. It’s like the Super Bowl for Basketball and fortunately, it happens when the NFL season has ended. It’s a hollow point in my life and it sounds overdramatic to say that it feels like I’ve lost a part of me when these seasons are over but I mean it honestly.

As I watched March Madness, I had this realization that there is NCAA Football. 

“If NCAA Basketball is at such a high calibre and I know that America is so very obsessed with their college ball teams, I can imagine the games are amazing. I think I need to be watching NCAA Football too” It was that simple to me. I was hooked. Another 2 days of Football on my watching schedule (as long as they were aired in Canada). 

I think from an analytical perspective, I probably like sports due to the dopamine or serotonin hit that I receive from the amazing plays or wins. It was a distraction from my unfortunate health situation and from the scary life situation during the pandemic so sports are associated with goodness. Frankly, the world and everyone in it needs a little more goodness and I think sports (generally) does that for us. 

When I think about what my former self would think about me now, I can’t help but laugh. I know I would groan. I have become someone I detested but I don’t think it is anything bad. I’m sure it confuses every person I went to school with too. I am used to this as well from a physical standpoint, people do not recognise me unless they have been consistently in touch with me. I have evolved in an immense way, it’s uncommon and I think that’s why it can be jarring or shocking to people but I am okay with it. I love my sports and I am proud to be a sporto. Golf though? Never going to be for me.