Lesson Learned

This story will not teach you the lesson you expect, nor the one I believe you’ve come here to learn. For that, I cannot say I apologize and I hope you’ll understand why once you’ve made your way through this mess. I will say this: I believe you are in the right place and should take the time to listen rather than rushing off to wherever you were headed prior to finding yourself here, with me, in this cold place we cannot name and perhaps does not exist. I can’t explain who I am, but it really isn’t important because I will tell you who I am not. I am not a prophet or psychic of any kind. I am simply a man with a story to show you. Now, sit, let’s not waste time. I can tell you were in a hurry. 

Some time ago, it is hard to say when, a man walked into this place where we are now. It was just as vast, and cold, and colorless then. The man was as surprised as you are to have found himself here, but he sat when told, as you did. He was tall and wore a long coat with a purple scarf, and he was in a rush. He sat here, with the man who maintained this place at the time, and sought the lesson you seek. He was called Miles.

Miles spent his days working in an office as a lawyer, earning a living so he could one day afford niceties he did not grow up with. He was often asked by a shorter gentleman to retrieve books from shelves the other man could not reach. The smaller man wore sweater vests in the cold months and always had his shoes polished. Miles did not realize until much later that he had picked up these habits. 

He could not explain why at the time, but the moments Miles reached for the books were the best of his days, and he toyed with the idea of moving every reference book higher and higher. Little did he know that the man seldom actually needed the books, but found it an easy way to strike up short conversations with Miles.

This went on for much longer than it should have, really, before Miles asked the man his name. Theodore, definitely not Ted or Teddy. They shared lunch together, and without question it became their routine. One day, Theodore mentioned having to buy a ladder to replace some light bulbs and Miles took that as an invitation. Miles changed every lightbulb, noting that none were actually out. They were delighted to learn they lived a 15 minute walk apart. When Theodore walked Miles back to his home that evening, they shared a kiss. It surprised them both, until it didn’t at all. Neither questioned it beyond that moment.

Theodore and Miles were soon absolutely inseparable. In six months, without discussing it, nearly all of Miles’s things had been walked over to Theodore’s home. It took barely a sentence for Theodore to convince Miles not to renew his lease. Having made Theodore’s home his own, Miles slyly moved some of Theodore’s favorite things too high for him to reach, so he could get them down for him.

Years went by; they lived and worked and ate and traveled and read and exercised and everythinged together. Then, they did fewer things together- growing busier and pursuing some of their own interests. Theodore left the office to teach. Everything was fine. 

Then one day, Miles arrived home to find a ladder- the one Theodore had not bothered buying all those years ago. They did not fight. Miles saw Theodore less, stopped putting things up too high. Neither mentioned it, both continued along their way. One day, Theodore mentioned- as casually as he had invited Miles to live with him- that he would be moving to another city. To teach at the university. He did not invite Miles, and Miles did not ask. Miles stayed in their once-shared home, Theodore moved. 

Miles continued to go to the office. He stopped wearing sweater vests and shining his shoes. Weeks passed, then months. He did not tell anyone Thedore had moved. Then, unexpectedly, Miles found his way here while rushing somewhere else. That is, in my experience, the only way to find yourself here. Judging by the state of him, it was an automotive accident. 

When he spoke to the man in this room, Miles heard a parable that made him shudder. Life was over? Or had it been for many many months by now? Had it really taken him this long to realize? He wanted so desperately to return to Theodore- to do anything to once again retrieve things from high shelves for him. 

The man in the room advised him against this, but Miles insisted. Here, it is not our place to stop someone from making the wrong decision. So, he released Miles back into the world, with the knowledge he had acquired in this place. Miles found himself five minutes before the accident. He did not question it. He rejoiced. There was time! 

Miles swerved, turned around and drove to the city he knew Theodore had moved to. It was surprisingly easy to find him, as if guided by whatever magnetism he’d felt when they first met. That, and he knew where Theodore taught. He wandered around until he found an office marked with Theodore’s name. All the while, Miles thought about how this was a fine place to be and how he would readily relocate.

What Miles did not expect was to find Theodore with his arm around a woman whose own hand rested against the very slight bump of her stomach. He must have made a familiar noise, because Theodore looked up and immediately locked eyes with him. Shockingly, he beamed and waved Miles over. Miles was grateful for his legs moving without his brain’s signal; he was too busy trying to make any sense of the situation. 

“Teddy Bear, who’s your friend?” the golden haired woman asked. Teddy Bear.

“This is Miles. Miles,” Theodore turned to him, “this is my fiance, Grace. We’ve just announced we’re expecting!” 

Miles could not begin to fathom what was happening. Fiance? Expecting? It had been six months since Theodore left, not years. Not long enough for him to so securely have a new life. One that involved a fiance, a child on the way and no room for Miles.

“Miles!” Grace exclaimed, “I’m so happy to finally meet you! Theodore has talked so highly of you since we met. I was beginning to think I never would or that he’d made you up!” She laughed, and it was lovely. Miles could see Theodore’s smile, and was dismayed to realize it was real. He was happy. 

“Better late than never” Miles said, giving her a quick hug, though if you ask him today, he still cannot say why. He would have preferred never to this. He would have preferred listening to the man in the room he could not name or place, and moving on to an afterlife in which he had never tried. Had never seen how quickly and easily he had been replaced. 

Luckily, you see, time does not work the same way here as you are used to. This story will be true, but Miles has not found his way to this place yet. When he does, I will try to convince him not to try to go back and right what he perceives as wrong. You can only move forward, you see. Sometimes, never is better than too late. 

Now, I will ask you to think. Think about how you found yourself here. Does this parable make you shudder? Would you like to be returned to the rush you were in?