Crime Drama Mystery

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Alfie

Ariel felt his titillating caress as if he was wanting to make love to her. She leaned into his touch willingly and...nearly toppled off the bed!

What? Where was she? Where was he? Oh, yes! The horror of reality set in.

She's back in her home town after being gone for twenty-five years ready to collect her father's remains. When she was notified of the discovery she hadn't waited for the local sheriff to tell her it would be a few days and he would let her know when to come. No, she rushed immediately across country to deal with it. Now she was stuck in limbo at the only motel within miles remembering a town without pity that accused her father unjustly, causing her mother distress that killed her and sent herself to a far off life with family she didn't know.

Evidently, the trauma also started her yearning for her broken relationship with her long-gone lover. “Oh, Lord! Are you there God? It's me...Lost, alone, and looking for answers.”

Sheriff Irwin could smell the freshly brewed coffee reminding him he'd forgone his usual morning cup in order to get an earlier start in his office. He rose from his desk to fetch a cup at the same time Deputy Ives tapped on his door bearing two cups and a bag of sweet smelling pastries.

“Thought I would catch you here slaving away already and if I were a betting man I'd wager you haven't had anything to eat this morning. Right on both counts. Correct?”

“Yes, and the brew was calling to me. Thanks for making it and the delivery. I'm buried deep in these cold files. It's obvious something was missed. This town owes a certain young lady some answers and I am determined to find them.”

“I'm here to help if you'll have me.” The lanky handsome young deputy was hungry for some excitement in this small mountain town. It was concern for his grandmother that kept him in his home town once he chose his career path. Someday, when she didn't need him anymore and after he gained some experience here, he would seek a larger venue. One where he could prove his mettle. This twenty-five year-old cold case could possibly be a proving ground if the sheriff lets him in on it.

“The more eyes we get on the bungled case the more chance we'll have of solving not only a mega theft but a likely murder. Too many people jumped at too many conclusions too fast back then. Now we have to unravel it all and put it back together the right way. Unfortunately, innocent people were hurt and whole lives impacted.” Sheriff envisioned the sorrow on the beautiful face of Ms. Ariel Izzard as she sought to claim her father's remains yesterday. He had to temporarily deny her request until the search for the truth was complete.

The forty-six year-old, former football hero of the local team, knew his hair was slightly thinning and his muscles were sinking to pouch as he eyed those donuts the deputy set before him. Indulgences such as those were his undoing. Seeing that chic, superbly put together woman awakened a desire within him he didn't know was there. She came from this same small town and presented herself like a model worthy of any Vogue magazine. The chance she would look twice his way was nil. But he could dream. He pushed the sweets to the other side of the desk realizing the younger man was speaking.

“It's been twenty-five years. What are the chances anyone involved or remembers anything is still around?”

“Actually, I was about your age, a fresh recruit on this force when it happened. I interviewed the family. The distraught wife and ten-year-old daughter. They were truly devastated. Refused to believe the loving husband and father they knew could do anything like of what he was accused. Had no knowledge of any plans. He left them high and dry. They never saw a cent of that money.

“The deserted woman struggled to provide for the two of them. Any savings did not last long. Mrs. Izzard tried selling Avon door to door but was shunned by all so could never build a client base. Finally the supermarket hired her. But she couldn't work the registers because people would avoid her line. She worked unloading and restocking produce. She wasn't eating or sleeping so looked haggard all the time even though she was pretty. An overdose of sleeping pills caused her death but no one could say if it was intentional or not. Her will stated her daughter should live with her own aunt and uncle in Florida.”

“So you tell me how anyone can lock himself in the truck of his own car and plunge it into a deep lake.” The newbie wanted to know as he started reading the old case. “Not quite the embezzlement and absconding with the bank's quarter-million dollars Mr. Izzard was charged with."

“Exactly right. Not to mention the bashed in skull. No. Someone either worked with him then double crossed him and took the money or he never had anything at all to do with the robbery and was hijacked and killed.”

“Has the law been looking for him all these years?”

“The robbery technically has been an open case since the money was never found. But I doubt anyone was looking for him. His family never joined him in some paradise setting. That's for sure. If he stole the money and had a plan he carried it out flawlessly except for ending up at the bottom of a lake. Car upside down at that! Not everyone knows that detail. Keep it under your hat. May give us the edge we need. If that scuba diver hadn't been testing his gear no one would ever know any differently.”

“Where do we start?”

“There are news people hovering around wanting answers so I called a press conference for this morning, not that I have anything to share I haven't already announced. But I got to let them know we are working on it. You stay here and familiarize yourself with all this. Take note of who was questioned back then and, if we can still locate them, we'll need to try again.

“I want a list of people that worked at the bank. Where are they now? Did anyone come into a large sum of money unexpectedly? That sort of thing. Today $250,000 could barely buy a modest house but back then it would have made a big difference in life style.” The Sheriff barely took a breath as he rattled off a to do list. “The bank may even send out more investigators. Who knows, maybe even the feds will involve themselves? We have to look sharp and be ready for anything.

“I'm going over to Aurora's to get a real breakfast before I face the vultures. Maybe the Ireland sisters will be holding court there. They're a good source of gossip. They may have known the truth all along.”

The Ireland sisters were a landmark in this close knit community of Ashe, Idaho. All well into their sixties, Aurora took over their parent's cafe and still did some of the cooking. A little plumper than the other two she still liked to banter with her regulars. The only spinster of the trio she kept her eyes on the pulse of her customers.

Agnes, undoubtedly once a blonde bombshell, left years ago and returned with a half-grown boy. She claimed she'd married but neither ever changed their surname. The boy caused mayhem in his teens then never returned after attending college. Agnes became a hairdresser so heard all the latest, true or not.

Andrea worked her way up from teller to loan officer at the bank. May be she had her eyes on a higher position but married an older rich man from Vegas. He built her a dream house on a cliff overlooking the lake. She spent seven years as his caretaker before he died, then became a realtor specializing in selling and reselling the lake cabins her spouse built on their original land purchase. By now she's a multi-millionaire and kept her svelte figure. Her silver tongue can charm anyone.

Sheriff Irwin walked into the lion's den.

“Alfie! What's it all about?” Aurora offered her individualized greeting to him.

“When you sort it out, we're meant to be kind.” He automatically responded back. “Ladies, good to see you. I'll have my usual, please, Aurora.” She rose to place the order.

“Seriously. What's happening with this new revelation? Poor Anthony never took the money like everyone assumed?” Andrea asked.

“If he did someone killed him for it and made off with it for themselves. Not to mention got away with murder so far.”

“I feel so bad for his widow and little girl.” Agnes lamented. “I was the one that forced Ariel's mother to leave the Garden Club. She briefly stopped in here for a cup of coffee and I apologized but it's too little too late.”

“We all shunned them at church, too. Wasn't a very Christian thing to do. No wonder Amy didn't want to live.” Andrea added.

“Boy, that little girl turned into a beauty, though, didn't she.” Aurora set down the Sheriff's breakfast in front of him.

“She's not hard to look at that's for sure.” Alfie's face turned a brighter shade of blush. “Andrea, you were still at the bank when it all happened, right? Do you remember everyone working there at the time and if any of them are still around we could interview?”

“The bank should have a record somewhere. I remember working with your cute Deputy's grandmother when we were both tellers. She had the hots for a mechanic she eventually married. She always claimed he was good with his hands. He's gone now and she can't remember what she had for breakfast.”

“Right. I'll check into the bank's records. Also, when did you start building your house up on the cliff?”

“Well, let me think. I think it was after the theft. We might have had the land purchased but there were some delays in the groundbreaking. There are always delays in real estate. Why, I could tell you...”

“Unfortunately, I don't have the time now for you to tell me all the woes of housing. I have a news presser scheduled soon. There's nothing more for me to say yet so early in the investigation but those people are so pushy. Each of you know this town so well. If any of you can think of any small detail we may have missed back when, no matter how insignificant you think it may be, please notify our office. Oh, one more thing, Andrea, were there any other houses up on that cliff before yours?”

“No, but I think kids used it as a lovers' lane. There were some tracks. It was hard to get up there twenty-five years ago so they had to be determined.”

“That's interesting. Would you mind if I came up and look at your view from there?”

“Thought you would never ask, Big Boy.”

He chuckled as he finished his coffee. “Official business only I'm afraid. Thanks, Ladies. As always you're a wealth of information. Be kind.”

Sheriff Irwin couldn't take his eyes off Ariel Izzard's hauntingly beautiful face at the back of the audience during the press conference. She searched for closure. He knew she was in a hurry to claim her father's remains so she could bury him next to her mother and shake the dust of this town from her strappy, high-heeled sandals. The authorities were still examining the bones and the car for any missed clues. How he wished he could be her hero and give her answers.

She waited until others cleared out. “Any special news only for me, Sheriff?”

“Want to talk over a cup of coffee?”

“I've had enough. Could we take a walk maybe at the park?”

The day was warm but he could tell she was shivering. Perhaps he was nervous himself. He wanted to put his arm around her to reassure her but knew it wouldn't be proper protocol.

“We have so few clues to work with and evidence has been destroyed through the years and under water. Do you remember the car your father would have been driving?”

“He may have been the bank Vice-President but that didn't mean we lived in luxury. Our house and vehicle were very modest. He never had brand new cars and didn't replace one every two years. So it would have been a modest sedan from the early nineties. Something dark blue. Does that help?”

“Sure. It matches the one he was found in.

“He obviously had a loving family. Did he ever talk about wanting a better life for you?”

“You're still thinking he stole the money?”

“We have to think maybe someone knew what he was up to, killed him and took the money. Still it may have been all coincidental the money disappeared at the same time.”

“Of course, its coincidental. Or he may have caught someone in the act, tried to stop them and paid the ultimate price. He was not he kind of man to steal from his place of employment. He was a good man and loving husband and father. Finding him in the trunk of his car proved he didn't intend on deserting us. Would you be upset if I hired a private detective to look into it? People in this town may be too close and shortsighted.”

“The more help the better. I wouldn't be insulted. I understand. Want to take a drive with me?” He asked.

“Where to?”

“A pretty view of the lake.”

“Sheriff, if you're trying to...”

“Seduce you? Not that I would mind but this is for research I assure you. Just let me tell my Deputy where we will be going.”

The late summer day was pleasant and even though it was too early for fall foliage it was a pretty drive through twisting narrow roads. Alfie could imagine how it must have been for young lovers on unimproved roads so long ago. Even though he was of the right age back then, he never had anyone special enough to be so determined. He wanted to reach for her hand to pretend momentarily but was too wise for that. Instead they silently were lost in their own thoughts.

Ariel wondered how this pleasant drive could lead to her father's killer. Could it be the somewhat appealing sheriff was interested in her beyond the case? Recalling her thoughts that awoke her this morning she almost wished he would reach out for her hand. Maybe she could absorb some of his strength through his touch.

“Here we are. Andrea Ireland's lake view home. Let's see if she's home yet. She was at Aurora's this morning.”

No one answered the door but someone called from the back so they headed there. Andrea lounged at the pool in a long colorful caftan.

“You've met Ariel Izzard I assume. Hope you don't mind I brought her along.”

“Nice to see you again, Young Lady. Of course, I was hoping for a social call from our handsome Sheriff but I understand duty calls. You wanted to see the view.” She swung her arms out wide presenting a glorious long view dropping straight down to deep blue water.

Sheriff Irwin walked to the very edge and looked down. He could imagine a car sailing out over the cliff tumbling end over end and splashing on the glass surface on its roof. The scene below was still roped off where the car had been extracted mere days ago.

He turned slowly around to face his greatest fear. Andrea held Ariel by a forearm across her neck with a gun pointed at her temple.

“It's a shame you have to be such a good detective, Alfie. We could have been so good together.

I believe in love, Alfie

Without true love we just exist, Alfie

Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie

When you walk let your heart lead the way

And you'll find love any day, Alfie “

“Let her go Andrea. She's suffered long enough. We can work things out. I'd no idea you felt like that towards me.

“Tell me about her father. About the money. Who helped you.”

At that moment Deputy Ives sprung from around the side of the house service weapon in hand, “Drop the gun and put your hands in the air!”

Andrea's reaction as Ariel spun away the opposite direction was to point and shoot wildly toward Ives, missing by a large margin.

Both men were on her before she could make another move and cuffed her.

“Happy to see you. What brings you out this way, Deputy Ives?”

“Oh, just some facts I found in the files and a talk I had with my grandmother. I'll explain all back at the office. Are you alright, Ms. Izzard?”

“Fine, thanks to you, Deputy.”

“Andrea, Love, please lead the way.” Alfie insisted. “Ariel, I think we found what we were looking for.”

Posted Aug 01, 2025
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33 likes 36 comments

Breanna Dawn
02:25 Aug 02, 2025

I absolutely loved the internal monologues, especially between the two policemen. Helped create a picture of the characters for the reader with an intriguing plot. Great job!!!

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Mary Bendickson
12:53 Aug 02, 2025

Thanks for the compliment and liking 'Here comes the Judge', 'Town Without Pity', and 'Alfie'.😊

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23:28 Aug 01, 2025

I thought the end (dictated by word count) could happen soon. There's still more to the story but wow what a shocking twist. A guilty conscience for so long, and the grisley remains being found led her to a rash reaction.

It started off very 'Virgin River' ish. Loved it.
Thanks for reading and commenting on my AI story.
My project is still ongoing but my fist fantasy tale will be out soon

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Mary Bendickson
23:55 Aug 01, 2025

That's the closest I have every gotten to 3000 I think. Best of luck with your projects.

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Raz Shacham
06:47 Aug 01, 2025

What a treat—I’d been waiting to read the continuation! Excellent plot and character development, and I love how you manage to tie each chapter so seamlessly into the week’s prompt. Can’t wait to see what happens next!

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Mary Bendickson
11:31 Aug 01, 2025

Thank you😊

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Derek Roberts
19:37 Aug 02, 2025

Agreed

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Randall L
05:01 Aug 02, 2025

Really well structured/paced and such a sense of place. Great work!

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Rebecca Lewis
13:38 Aug 01, 2025

Hey, I just read through Alfie, and I’ve got to say — it’s a solid setup. You've got a small-town mystery with a cold case, a brooding sheriff, and a woman digging through her past to make sense of everything — classic stuff, and it works. The town feels real. The setting has personality. That little motel, the cafe, the Ireland sisters (love those ladies) — it all paints a great picture. I can see this place, and it feels lived-in, which is half the battle in stories like this. Ariel’s emotional journey has weight.
The way she’s pulled back into this world after 25 years — it’s painful, it’s messy, and it’s what you want for a character who’s trying to heal and figure out the truth. Her grief feels real. The plot keeps moving. You’ve got momentum. The case details come out in a way that feels natural, not dumped all at once. The pacing works once Alfie and Ariel start teaming up. Good use of the "Alfie" theme. The lyrical tie-in with the name and the song adds a poetic layer. It gives the story heart and wraps the emotional and mystery elements together in a nice bow. This is a great mix of mystery and emotion with a cinematic feel. It’s like a cozy noir — dark secrets in a bright little town.

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Mary Bendickson
15:19 Aug 01, 2025

Well, thank you so much for this analysis.😊

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Eugenie Fawn
13:18 Aug 01, 2025

It's the continuation!! — I was not expecting the plot twist! I thought for sure it might've been her deceased husband. Can't wait for more Mary ♡

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Mary Bendickson
15:16 Aug 01, 2025

Thanks for liking.

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Suzanne Marsh
20:07 Aug 07, 2025

I enjoyed the what's it all about Alfie, I saw that movie when it first came out. Thank you for reading Ride Out Men of Fort Apache. I saw that fort from the road, my husband drove truck and we went onto the reservation for a few miles. Arizona there are a lot of dirt devils, one almost blew us off the road.

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Mary Bendickson
20:39 Aug 07, 2025

Amazing where inspiration can come from.

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Thomas Wetzel
17:49 Aug 07, 2025

Very cool! I was wondering where it was all going until Alfie invited Ariel to join him for the ride to Andrea's house. Still didn't know how it would end from there. Didn't think the diner lady would be strapped. Loved the Dion Warwick lyrics. Liked how you worked in references to this week's other prompts too.

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Mary Bendickson
20:37 Aug 07, 2025

Good eye. Thanks😊.

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Thomas Wetzel
20:47 Aug 07, 2025

Btw, when you shoot at a cop, they ALWAYS shoot back.

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Lyle Closs
08:03 Aug 07, 2025

That was fun. A good read. Very enjoyable.

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Rebecca Hurst
10:37 Aug 06, 2025

Great plotting.

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Mary Bendickson
11:49 Aug 06, 2025

Thanks.😊

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J.R. Geiger
16:09 Aug 05, 2025

This story had me reading to the very end. The pacing was great, kept me involved the whole time.

Well done!!

BTW, my story... The Perpetual Carrot... was approved. 😁

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Mary Bendickson
16:25 Aug 05, 2025

Thanks and that's good.😅

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J.R. Geiger
16:37 Aug 05, 2025

At least now, Jack has a new case he can work on. 😎

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Helen A Howard
08:19 Aug 03, 2025

Shocking stuff. A nice smooth flow to this one. Looking forward to reading what happens next.

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Mary Bendickson
23:06 Aug 03, 2025

Thanks for liking.😊

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Derek Roberts
19:34 Aug 02, 2025

I like how such seemingly simple characters evolve into very complex people. The mystery is engaging, but the people in the story are what makes everything authentic. Immediately I thought of Michael Caine. Great movie. I get the connection. Also, love and attraction can be so messy. I can see the possibility for happiness or heartbreak.

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Mary Bendickson
23:09 Aug 03, 2025

Thank you.

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James Lane
18:18 Aug 02, 2025

I really liked the small town atmosphere you've created here! Good mystery and great read. Also, I had a pastry on my plate when I read "..knew his hair was slightly thinning and his muscles were sinking to pouch as he eyed those donuts." Why'd you have to get so personal??

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Mary Bendickson
18:29 Aug 02, 2025

I know! How does something full of holes add so much bulk?

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Shahzad Ahmad
13:15 Aug 02, 2025

The dramatic twist in the plot towards the end pulls me in. The story tracks the crime investigation methodically. The dialogues are so reality inspired like 'ladies you're a wealth of information.' Great story telling!

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Mary Bendickson
13:28 Aug 02, 2025

Glad you liked it.

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Donna Power
10:09 Aug 02, 2025

I really enjoyed reading your story

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Mary Bendickson
13:25 Aug 02, 2025

Thank you very much.😊

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Tamsin Liddell
05:41 Aug 02, 2025

Mary:

The one genre I'm most in my element in as a reader, and least comfortable (to this point) even thinking about addressing, is the mystery. Congratulations on actually attempting it.

So. As someone who frequently breaks the 3K limit, I recognize the sacrifices you've made to play that game of limbo. I suspect if you didn't have to do so, it would be a lot more polished and the ending feel less rushed.

Are you familiar with Knox's rules for detective stories? They're a hundred years old, so there's probably a better modern version of them somewhere, but you did a decent job of laying out the clues and setting it up.

(For the record: I picked the killer right away, but there were at least 2 other potentials by the end, so you did well in that regard. It was not utterly predictable, you didn't overuse tropes, and you didn't hide things from us that you didn't hide from your main investigator as well.)

Anyway, well done. I would suggest that you might take the framework of Alfie & TWOP, tear them to the foundations, and rebuild them into something publishable. Honestly, compared to first mysteries by Harris, Grafton, Grimes, and others I've read, it's got a solid start. The "AI" stuff would have to go, obviously, but… I'd definitely read this over again, and that's the mark of a good mystery, if not a good story.

-TL

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Mary Bendickson
13:20 Aug 02, 2025

What an encouraging analysis! Thank you. Not familiar with Knox. Both AI and mystery writing are new territories for me. Let's face it. All writing is still new to me. Only started when I retired. Never studied much about any of it.😄 Guess it shows. When I read all the talent here I feel inadequate but the my husband reminds me I received an award for a manuscript and had a story published.

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