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Thriller Suspense

Awakening, it was hard to figure out where he was, his vision obscured by middling light. It appeared to be a rectangular shaped space, the ridges in the walls leading him to believe it was the inside of some kind of shipping crate. However, the most alarming feature of the environment, was the crowding. He could hardly see the ground, as everywhere in the confinement there were people lying in various states of wakefulness. There were some electric lights attached to the ceiling, illuminating the box starkly.

The air in the makeshift prison was stuffy, barely breathable, and he could feel himself beginning to sweat. Everywhere people were groaning. There must have been at least 30 of them in there. Next to his feet, a wiry man with sandy hair, dressed in a t-shirt and pants began to lift himself up off the ground.

‘Where are we?’ The man said to him, his tone aggressive.

‘I’m wondering the same thing.’ He replied warily. ‘My name is Kevin; may I ask what’s yours?

Already starting to look around the confined space frantically, the man replied. ‘My name’s George. Were stuck in here aren’t we?’

‘It looks like it.’ Kevin replied. ‘We need to stay calm and figure out what to do.’

A lady, who had gotten up while they were talking, spoke to them. ’What is this place? Who are you guys?’

Kevin turned. ‘My name’s Kevin, were trying to figure out what to do now.’

The lady replied. ‘My name’s Mary. There’s a lot of people in here. This is crazy. Does anyone remember how we got in here?’

George’s face became tensed up, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. ‘That’s what I’ve been wondering. I remember working at someone’s house; I’m an electrician. Then I don’t remember anything until waking up here.’

Mary scratched her head. ‘It’s the same for me. One minute I was at home, the next I’m here. Is it a similar story for you Kevin?’

‘Yeah, something similar.’ He replied.

Just then a muscular man in a Hawaiian t-shirt rose to his feet and addressed them all. ‘I’m Harry. I heard you guys talking while I was waking up, so I heard your names already. Are there any vents in here?’

They all looked around. Suddenly, spotting something, Kevin pointed to a metal grating on the roof of the box. ‘That looks like one there. So that’s one less thing we’ve got to worry about. There’s going to be enough air.’

Harry frowned. ‘There’s air, but as far as I can tell, there’s no food.’

More and more people were lamely starting to get off the ground, some staggering, making for a little more floor room as they began to stand up. Mary was reassuring some other women who were next to her, while George looked around their prison frantically, seemingly lost in his own world of panic.

He noticed a scrawny looking man getting up along with some other people next to him. The unnerving thing about the man was that his face was contorted into a grimace of a smile. Kevin saw him begin to speak.

‘Well, here we all are.’

Harry turned to him. ‘Frank, is that you?’

Frank laughed. ‘Yeah mate. How are you, Harry! Fancy seeing you here.’

Kevin ignored them for the moment, and began to take another close look at the ceiling. He noticed a square gap near the middle of the ceiling, that seemed to indicate that some kind of opening might be there, though he could see no way to open it from the inside.

Mary had just walked up to him, and she leaned next to his ear. ‘I don’t like the look of Frank. And how does Harry know him?’ She whispered.

‘I don’t like the look of him either.’ He replied, thinking if he should point out the possible opening in the roof to her.

Frank was still talking to Harry. ‘Looks like you’re stuck here with me, Harry mate.’

Just then, the square gap began to move, as though a lid were being taken off from the outside. There were gasps, with some of the people yelling for help. However, there was no reply. When the lid came off, there was hardly any light coming through, but they could see a man dressed in black, with a black balaclava and black gloves who had obviously been the one who opened it. He quickly threw something wrapped up in thick newspaper about the size of a football, then closed the lid again. People shrieked and pleaded but whoever the man dressed in black was, he didn’t care.

The newspaper parcel was lying, untouched on the ground, before George, who appeared to be coming his senses, picked it up.

’Open it.’ Said Mary, who had been one of the people yelling for help when the hatch opened, but George was already getting started.

Layer after layer of newspaper came off, until at last, a large knife was revealed underneath. George regarded it with a look of puzzlement on his face.

‘What am I supposed to do with this?’ He asked as people screamed and cried.

‘Get rid of it!’ Came someone’s voice.

‘Put it in the vent!’ Shouted someone else.

Frank, still smiling spoke up. ‘Give it to Harry.’

Harry turned his head towards Frank, but said nothing. Kevin could see there was some relationship between these two men, but could not fathom what it was. All he knew was that he did not want anything Frank suggested to actually happen. George was still staring at the sleek object in his hand in disbelief, torn newspaper littered on the ground around him.

Mary’s voice came, almost in a whisper, but still audible. ‘Whatever you do George, don’t give it to Frank or Harry.’

‘Should I keep this?’ Said George.

Kevin looked at Mary. ‘Maybe you should give it to her?’

‘Don’t give it to me. I might not be strong enough to stop someone grabbing it from me.’ Replied Mary, staring at Frank and Harry.

Harry took a step towards George. ‘Just a minute. If we are worried about someone stealing the knife and using it, then why wouldn’t you give it to me? I’m clearly one of the strongest people here.’

Kevin, his mind racing, addressed Harry. ‘Why does everyone care who has the knife anyway? It’s not like anyone is going to use it right?’ He turned to George. ‘You can hang on to it right George? You’re not going to do anything crazy?’

Kevin had begun to walk over to George, mindful that Harry had already taken a step closer to him, when George yelled at him.

’Stay back! I don’t trust any of you!’

Frank was laughing, causing Mary to turn and look at him, her eyes wide and the beginnings of a tremor showing in her arms. Just then, a new voice came from the back of a crowd of people towards the corner of the room. A man was making his way through the throng, heading towards George. He was sturdily built, and quite tall, but not quite as well muscled as Harry.

‘George, I can see you haven’t got what it takes to keep that thing. Give it to me. I’ll put it in the vent. I can reach it.’

Frank raised his voice. ’Now if there’s anyone you don’t want to give that knife to, its him.’

Harry crossed his arms and shook his head, looking at the man who had just emerged from the back. ‘Why am I not surprised to see you here Lucian.’

Lucian turned his head to Harry. ‘Small world I guess.’

Kevin, trying to make sense of the situation called out loudly. ‘Something is very wrong here. How come some of you seem to know each other, I’ve never met any of you in my life! And why do some of you seem to know this place? Is there something we should all know?’

Mary took some steps towards him. ‘Kevin is right. Something is going on here. People need to speak up, right now.’

Frank was staring at the floor, but replied all the same. ‘Your right Kevin, seems like some of us are completely clueless as to what exactly is going on here. I’m willing to fill you in. But first of all, that knife needs to go to Harry. Otherwise, you’re not going to like what happens next.’

‘Shut up all of you.’ Yelled Lucian. ‘Right now, we’ve got a problem. There’s a knife in here, and there are people here willing to use it. George, give me the knife and let me get rid of it.’

George seemed paralyzed. His eyes were fixed on Lucian with a searching gaze, but his hand was gripping the knife tightly. In a flash, he quickly stepped towards Harry and handed him the knife. Now Lucian’s face contorted in rage.

‘You shouldn’t have done that.’ He yelled.

‘Shut up.’ Said Harry, now holding the gleaming knife. ‘Frank, tell them what’s going on.’

Frank began to explain. ‘Harry and I have been investigating a series of disappearances over the last couple of years. We think there is some kind of social experiment being done. They… we don’t know who… catch their victims and put them into these boxes. There is always one or more killer in the pack. Once a weapon is thrown in, they wait and see what happens. Usually, the killer is the last one standing. This isn’t Lucian’s first stay in a box, isn’t that right Lucian?’

Lucian simply eyed Frank with contempt, his fists clenched.

Mary nervously spoke up to Frank. ‘So, what do we do now?’

Instead, it was Harry who replied. ‘As long as we all keep an eye on Lucian, everything should be fine. I was thinking with a bit of help I might be able to wedge this knife into the space of that crack where the opening is, and maybe we can all get the hell out of here in one piece.’

Without warning, Lucian dived towards Harry, but Harry backed away just in time, as a crowd of scared men and women grabbed Lucian and restrained him.

‘Well done.’ Said Harry to those who had caught Lucian. Turning to address Kevin, he spoke again. ‘Now let’s see if we can’t get this vent open.’

March 10, 2024 22:23

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5 comments

John Rutherford
14:06 Mar 21, 2024

Very dramatic scene and events. Well done with this story full of conflict and threat.

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LeeAnn Hively
20:57 Mar 19, 2024

Welcome to Reedsy! I'm looking forward to all of your future work :)

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J. D. Lair
17:49 Mar 17, 2024

This was a solid first submission Paul. Kept me gripped the entire time! Well done and welcome to Reedsy. :)

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Paul Hellyer
23:14 Mar 17, 2024

Thank you. I'm going to check out some of the other submissions!

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J. D. Lair
23:17 Mar 17, 2024

You’re welcome! Lots of good storytelling here. You’ll not be disappointed. :)

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