Ring Around the Nun

Ring around the Nun

"Speak now Champney! When are you going to shut up?"It's 1955 and I am enrolled in St. Brigid's Elementary School in Brooklyn NY. Sister Mary Nathaniel is our teacher. It's 1^st grade and I learned the rules quickly. She looks to be about 6'9” and about 95 lbs. Looks like a snake and is just as mean. She probably had no college and for some reason or other she enrolled in the Sisters of (Show 'Em No) Mercy. I learned years later that few nuns of the 1950's had teaching degrees. But some did and I think that the nicer ones did. Sister Mary Peyton, Frederick and Moira were all sweet women and very gentle. I was lucky to have had them as teachers. I suspect they had teaching degrees as they were younger than most. Sister Mary Clements, who I thankfully did not have, spoke to her class through clenched teeth. It was pretty unnerving to walk by and hear her address the class. My first disciplinary encounter with Nathaniel came when I refused to stop talking to my classmate. I had been warned several times but I had persisted. She came down the aisle in all her black and white reptilian glory and snatched me out of my seat. She must have known I was afraid of heights because I never went near the windows as we were 6 stories up. She pulled my close to her and lifted me off my feet. One thing I did like about all the nuns were their smell Nathaniel had a fresh clean smell. Was it the starch in her habit? I don't know but they all smelled the same whether nice or mean. So here I am firmly in her claw like clutches and I am about to be swung around. My face was buried deep under the large bib like apparatus they wore under their chins.This was not like mom nor any of my well endowed aunts. This was cold and hard. Off we went. She was swinging me around and around. The smell and the sound of the long rosary beads clicking together complimented the ride nicely. But she was angry. And kept hissing at me,”Are you going to stop? Are you going to stop?” I would not answer her. I wasn't afraid of her UNTIL. She put me down and had me look up at the top of the very tall windows. There were plant hooks at the top. Though in the six years I attended there I never saw one plant. She then took my face in her hands and squeezed tightly. Now it was getting uncomfortable. She asked me if I would like to be placed up on that plant hook and swung out the window for the rest of the day!! No, Sister no I I'll be good I swear. With that she put me down and I returned to my seat. I was pretty well shook and that set the tone for the rest of my St. Brigid's experience.

One day the principal entered out 1^st grade class. We immediately stood up and in unison we enthusiastically shouted

” Good morning Sister Reginald.” This was required whenever any adult entered the room. I had learned this the previous year in kindergarten with sweet Moira. She explained to us how to behave and she then had us practice our greeting. She would go out the door and then come in. We all had to stand and in perfect unison exclaim”Good morning Sister Mary Moira!!” The first time an adult entered the room we all sat there thinking nothing of it. When that adult left we spent the next five minutes practicing how it was to be done when any honored, presumed holy and exalted staff member entered.

Sister Mary Reginald then delivered her news. Someone in the school had been sneaking into the church and lighting all the votive candles!!! She explained that there purpose was to send a special message to God through the use of a flame. I carefully made a mental note of that should I ever need further assistance from God on any of my personal issues. Too much homework, staying out later or what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas would be some of the reasons I would light a candle in hopes of extra consideration. It was also required that one donated a few coins as donation for lighting said candle. There were 2 colors, red and blue. I don't remember why they were different but I knew they weren't for the Dems or Republicans. Reginald went on to explain that once that child was caught the entire school would attend a special service in the main church. There the miscreant's hands would be burned in the presence of the entire school. My blood lust was up. Holy cow, I thought. They are going to burn some kid's hands in front of the whole school!!! I was secretly hoping I knew who it was. A few weeks later Nathaniel announced the news. The arsonist had been caught and his name was..... Adam Schroeder. Adam was in my freekin' class!!! Holy Smokes!! He sat two desks over! How could this be?He was a short red haired kid who I don't think anyone had much to do with. The girls all oohed in utter amazement when they heard the news. For the rest of the year I wondered when the big Adam Schroeder BBQ would occur. What would it be like? Would he scream or handle it stoically like so many of the saints we had learned about? Would I be able to smell the burnt human flesh? Would there be a elaborate ceremony or just a simple Mass? If it was a Mass would we receive communion? So may questions!! Fortunately for Adam and unfortunately for my over active imagination it never happened. Adam disappeared from St. Brigid's shortly after and I never saw nor heard of him again. Adam if you are out there keep your matches dry.