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Suspense Creative Nonfiction Drama

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

***Trigger Warning - use of some foul language and abuse***


“You’re home! Finally!”


“Yeah, but I’m gonna…”


“Where’s my kiss? Come here, give me my kiss.” 


“Donnie...I’m…”


“I have been waiting all day for you!”


“I’m sorry, someone called off, I had to cover…”


“You didn’t think to text or call me? The last message you sent me was at 5:22. That was more than two hours ago! Why haven’t you texted me since?” 


“We were too busy, I was doing a lot of running around…”


“You ALWAYS say that. Always too busy for me... always... take your coat off and come here. Come on! Come here! You owe me for all the time I lost waiting for you.” 


“Donnie…I’m...I'm going to go to…”


“WHAT!? GO? Go WHERE? You’re leaving? You are not being serious right now! Where are you going? You’re not going anywhere! Are you being serious?!”


“I’m sorry… I… I’m going… I want to see Max and Zoe’s new baby…”


“You’re kidding me. YOU. ARE. KID. DING. ME. You just got home! What the hell are you talking about!? I’ve been waiting all day for you! And now you want to leave! AND! You saw them yesterday!”


“I didn’t get to talk to them much…there were a lot of people at the hospital, they’re home now and Max just called me and said…”


“You know what, cut it out. Stop. You’re lying. We both know what this is really about. You just want to see Max! … Max! Max! Max! … That’s all you ever talk about! HIM!”


“Why do you always think that!?”


“What do you mean!?” You always want to go over there!”


“Donnie, I just want to see their baby...why don’t you come with me...take a shower and come with me…”


“Ha! Sure. Sure you do. And the fact that Max is there has nothing to do with it. Sure Annie. Ha! Sure. No. Are you kidding me? I’m not going over there. You are not going over there. You saw them yesterday after you got off work. And maybe you don’t remember because obviously your memory is shot, but I spent all day yesterday waiting for you, AND NOW TODAY NOT TO MENTION. I put your dishes in the sink, I fed your stupid cat, I grabbed your mail…”


“I didn’t ask you to do any of that…I don’t understand why you don’t go home…why you wait here all day in my apartment…I really want to see my friends and their baby…why don’t you take a quick shower and we can…”


“Because, Annie! That’s the kind of person I am! The kind that does nice things for other people without them asking, but obviously you don’t appreciate the things I do for you. I do this because I want to spend time with you! Don’t you want to spend time with me?”


“We were together last weekend and the weekend before… this is getting ridiculous, Donne. I work long hours… you know that…you know I have to work…”


“Weekends!? Two days!? That’s it!? That’s all I get?”


“You’ve been here every single day, Donnie...you see me every morning and night...and…Donnie…I told you you can use my shower while I’m at work...why haven't you?” 


“Why do you keep bringing that up? Why do you keep changing the subject? Why are you always trying to bring me down? HUH?”


“I’m not trying to bring you down, Donnie. It’s just…I don’t understand, you’re still wearing the same clothes from the past few days…I can see how greasy your hair is from here…”


“SHUT UP! Are you fucking kidding me? I have been missing you and all I want to do is spend time with you! I can’t eat! I can’t sleep! You sleep fine, just fine! Showering is the last thing on my mind; especially, showering in this shitty apartment!”


“Why don’t you go to your house and shower then!”


“Stop yelling! Why are you getting angry!? My parents are home and I don’t want to see them...you should know this already! Don’t you listen to anything that I tell you? Why? You don’t want me here? You want me to leave? You want to see someone else don’t you! You want to see Max don’t you! DON’T YOU!”


“Donnie…please… put your hands down. You’re turning red…please...calm down… I’m sorry that I work a lot...okay? Please stop…”


“There you go! Blaming work again! Before I lost my job I worked way harder than you EVER did! AND I never treated someone as badly as you treat me!”


“Donnie…I’m sorry…please...calm down…”


“Don’t you DARE tell me to calm down! Why are you still holding your keys? Put those down! You’re not going anywhere! All I wanted was to spend time with you! I’ve waited and waited and now you want to leave again!? Stop getting closer to the door! COME HERE!”


“Donnie! Stop! You’re being ridiculous, I’ll only be gone for like two hours! They’re my friends!” 


“COME HERE, ANNIE!! Get AWAY from the door!” 


“NO! I’m sick of this! Why don’t you ever let me see my friends!? I want to see their baby!” 


“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? TELLING ME NO? WHO THE HELL…WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! SHUT THE DOOR ANNIE!!”


“NO!”


“GET BACK IN HERE!”


“NO!!”


“GOD DAMN IT, ANNIE! COME HERE! GET BACK INSIDE!”


“NO! STOP IT, DONNIE! LET GO OF ME! STOP!”


“STOP FIGHTING ME, ANNIE! GET YOUR ASS BACK INSIDE! WHY DID YOU EVEN TRY? YOU KNOW I’M FASTER THAN YOU!”


“NO! LET GO! DONNIE! LET GO OF ME! STOP! YOU'RE YANKING MY HAIR! YOU’RE HURTING ME!” 


“YOU ARE GETTING BACK INSIDE! WE ARE NOT DONE! I SAID YOU ARE NOT GOING OVER THERE! YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE FOR A LONG TIME!”


“NO! STOP! LET GO OF ME!”


“STOP FIGHTING ME ANNIE! OW! MY EYE! FUCK! OW!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! ANNIE!! ANNIE!! COME BACK!! COME BACK HERE NOW!” 


“STOP CHASING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!”


“GET OUT OF THE CAR!”


“DONNIE, NO! I’M LEAVING!”


“STOP! ANNIE!”


“LET GO OF THE HANDLE DONNIE! LET GO! I’M LEAVING!”


“UNLOCK THE DOOR, ANNIE!”


“NO!”


“SHUT THE CAR OFF! DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE! WE ARE NOT DONE TALKING!”


“YES WE ARE!”


“STOP REVERSING! STOP!” 


“DONNIE, I’M BEING SERIOUS! I’M BEING SERIOUS THIS TIME! LET GO OF MY CAR! I’M ALMOST TO THE STREET! LET GO!”


“ANNIE! ANNIE! Annie! Listen! Listen! Baby! Baby...come on…come on please…please stop… there you go...was that so hard to just stop? Come on baby, I love you…please…unlock the car…baby. Let's go inside. Please…I won’t grab you or your hair again… hopefully you won’t try gouging my eyes out again...I'll even forgive you for that…come on. Baby, please. Pull back into the driveway. Come on, please.”


“Donnie …please...let go of the car...you’re suffocating me...everyday you…you’re…suffocating me. I can’t do this anymore!”


“Stop saying stuff like that! Stop crying!”


“I don’t want this, Donnie!”


“DON’T SAY THAT! I LOVE YOU, ANNIE! AND YOU LOVE ME! PLEASE! LET'S TALK INSIDE!”


“NO! I’M LEAVING!”


“NO! STOP! STOP! STOP! NO! STOP THE CAR!” 


“NO, DONNIE! LET GO! LET GO!”


“THEN STOP THE CAR!”


“NO! I WANT TO LEAVE!”


“SLOW DOWN! ANNIE, SERIOUSLY! SLOW DOWN! YOU’RE GOING TOO FAST! ANNIE! ANNIE! PLEASE ANNIE! I LOVE YOU! MY HAND IS SLIPPING! SLOW DOWN! ANNIE! SLOW DOWN!”


“LET GO! LET GO!”


“STOP THE CAR, ANNIE! I CAN’T HANG ON!”


“DONNIE! LET GO! I’M SERIOUS! I WILL GO FASTER! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!” 


“NOOO!! SLOW DOWN!!”


“NO! I’M DONE!” 


“NO ANNIE!” 


“I’M DONE!”


“OHHHH MYYYY GODDDDD!! SLOW DOWN!! STOP THE-”


“OH GOD...OH GOD…DONNIE…Oh my god…oh my god what do I do...where's my phone…..where is it…HEY SIRI CALL MAX!”


Calling Max mobile”


“...Hellllooo.”


“MAX!”


“Ann, where you at? Zoe was just asking me if you were still coming over.” 


“I GOT IN A FIGHT WITH DONNIE AND…”


“Yeah? What else is new…are you okay? Why are you crying? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”


“HE WAS HANGING ON TO MY CAR AND I STARTED DRIVING FASTER AND HE SLIPPED OFF AND I THINK HE'S HURT…HE HIT THE ROAD HARD I SAW HIM ROLLING.....I THINK I HURT HIM BAD...I…I SHOULD GO BACK…”


“Wow, wait, what? What happened? Calm down, breathe, what happened?”


“He didn’t… he didn’t want me to leave but I started to drive off … he was hanging on to my car…he…he hit the road and rolled…oh god he’s probably hurt…”


“So what, Annie! Don’t go back. It’s about time you fled off. Donnie’s a douchebag, how many times have I told you that? How many more fights do you need until you finally realize you need to drop that guy? Do not go back. Leave him there. He doesn’t care if you get hurt, so why the hell should you care?” 


“But he'll come back, he always shows up...he’s always there...Max, I didn’t want to hurt him...I just...he used to be so different... I kept thinking he’d… he’d go back to h-how he was when I first met him...I really loved him, Max. Why-y did he change…”


“Ann, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything he’s done. He was an illusion. I’m sorry, but I won’t be sorry if you fall back into that. Don’t go back, don’t let that scumbag back in your life. Even if that means getting a restraining order. We can help you get one so he leaves you alone. Donnie was false love, not real love. This whole thing with you guys is not real love.”


“But Max…”


“Annie. Seriously. You have to let him go…are you still driving?”


“Yes…”


“Well, I’m going to get off the phone before you get pulled over or run someone else over hahaha.” 


“Ha ha, I didn’t run him over.” 


“Sureeee hahahah. You should’ve, though. He deserves it. How far are you?”


“A few minutes.” 


“Okay, good. We’ll talk more when you get here, I know Zoe is dying to hear what happened.” 


“Okay…I’ll see you in a few minutes…”


“Ann?”


“Yeah?”


“Relax. Take a deep breath. Everything’s fine now. Just let it go. We will help you.” 


“Okay… Thank you, Max.”


“Bye, Annie. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”


“Bye…”

“Okay…breathe…you are okay…you are okay… let it go, Annie.…let go.”



February 18, 2023 06:45

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9 comments

Charlie Murphy
00:31 Mar 02, 2023

That was intense! You wrote it well! Great job!

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Carlie Beth
09:02 Mar 02, 2023

Thank you so much, Charlie!!! ❤️❤️

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Charlie Murphy
19:15 Mar 02, 2023

You're welcome. Can you read The Wrath of Roachzilla?

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Kate Rich
23:21 Mar 01, 2023

Great building of tension escalating into fear, then terror. I love your ability to convey each one of the relationships in this story by using only what's necessary. Clean exposition. I liked that we don't know if Donnie is okay (physically) at the end.

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Carlie Beth
09:02 Mar 02, 2023

Thank you so much for your feedback!! ❤️❤️

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19:50 Feb 25, 2023

This was a really powerful, emotional story. I was so scared for poor Annie and I’m so glad she got away. That’s the mark to an amazing writer, evoking that kind of emotion and attachment to characters from pure dialogue. Wonderful workmanship!

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Carlie Beth
10:05 Feb 26, 2023

Wow! Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it!! Thank you again!!! ❤️❤️❤️

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Sarah Martyn
16:44 Feb 25, 2023

Very artistically done for such a difficult subject.

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Carlie Beth
10:04 Feb 26, 2023

Thank you so much!!! ❤️❤️

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