Time

TIME

“We’re running out of time”

“What do you mean?”

“You have a decision to make.”

“I understand that part, I think. But you said ….we.”

“Does my decision affect you somehow?”

“Of course, it does. I’m your guardian Angel. I go where you go. Either here, ……or there.”

“So, your not just a temporary assignment for me?”

“No.”

“ Do you always have to follow me?”

“Yes.”

She tried to decern his tone. That Suttle lilt that could convey information unintended. Yet, he gave away nothing. In all the time they had spent communicating, whether it was verbal or energetically, he never once expressed a personal emotion.

“What would you like me to do?”

“It is not about me.”

“Why?”

“Because it is about you.”

“Is that fair?”

“Fair is a human illusion. It does not exist. There is, or there is not.”

“I guess, what I would like to know, is if you have a preference. You must feel something, one way or another.” She persisted.

“No.” He replied.

Again, she tried to read his response. Or perhaps, she was only reading something into it. It was so hard to tell from here. Here being the operative word. Wherever here could be. Things she had always thought real suddenly did not seem so…..from here. Yet, it was obvious she was also NOT there…..perhaps stuck somewhere in between? With one big question…..did she want to go back to where she had been,….or there, wherever there could be?

“So, tell me, what do we do there?”

“We plan, we play, we work”

“Sounds no different than before.”

He did not respond. Perhaps he too was confused.

“What will we do here?” She asked finally.

“Plan, play, work.” He said.

“Where are we now?’

“In between.”

She scoffed. “In between’ sounds like no place at all.”

“Sort of” He replied.

That did not feel right.

“So, is there no difference between the here and the there, then?” Her question was more sincere than she dared admit.

“Oh, sure there is a difference. Here, you have a work you already started. You have other players that are more or less dependent on you to reach specific goals. This is a fork, so to speak for all of you. If you choose to stay, everyone learns as they go down one path. If you go, everyone learns different lessons as they travel a different path. All lessons will be learned in the end, so all paths must be walked at one point or another.”

“So, what you are saying, is that there really is no wrong decision. The timing works itself out eventually either way.”

“Yes.”

“And either way, I have you to guide and help me no matter where I go, or what I do?”

“Yes.”

Memories of loved ones flashed through her mind. The good ones and the bad ones. There had been times she did want to go somewhere far, far away. Times when she truly felt exhausted. Then, other times that were warm and welcoming. Yet, there was a distinct feeling of things…unfinished. Like that feeling you get when you think you have forgotten something but can’t quite figure out what.

She had a half-finished bucket list. Places to go, things to see. But That did not feel like what was missing. Those kinds of things seemed much less important now. Oddly insignificant.

What would be the things she would miss should she choose to go?

Soft sheets. Yes. She moved her hand across her sheet and felt the cool cotton.

Music began to play. Soft and low, at first. It built up until it vibrated through her body rushing through her blood.

Music. Yes, or rather the feel of it through blood and bone.

A slight crips breeze blew through her hair and caused her to giggle slightly, as if it tickled.

There had been lots of laughter and dancing in her memory bank with those she shared her life with.

Yet, she knew somehow, they would never be far away. Separation, much like ‘fairness’ was only an illusion in the minds of the incarnated.

She opened her eyes now to all the possibilities. It was as if she were seeing life through the eyes of the entire universe. So much larger than ever before, or ever imagined.

 She could see her life without all the fears. Fear of loss. Fears of scarcity. Fears of separation. Each a veil that hid what was always right before her. All the things that brought the laughter and the joy. They were subtle and often quiet, easily hidden behind the dark shades of worry.

In an instant she realized the worries were the things that were not real. Why had she wasted so much of her life on them? She had dwelt on them to the point that she had almost missed everything!

It was as if she had been caught in a snare. Entangled in deception of other men’s worries and fears yet they were all the same. Loss of control. Loss of things that were never really there.

She actually had everything she ever needed. She had love. She had joy. She had a full and abundant life. She had been tricked into not seeing it somehow. She had been in a constant state of comparing to more and more. Yet, the …More…  did not exist.

Fears had been given power to grow and billow like angry storms swirling about. Yet, from here, she plainly saw that those were nothing more than illusions as well. If only she had seen past them, or through them. If only she had realized what her life had really been……..

Suddenly, she sucked in a breath of air. It went deep, deep into her belly. Her legs. All the way to her feet. She felt a giggle erupt and wiggled her toes. She wanted to jump up and dance! She wanted to sing without fear or judgement! Just to feel the notes, the songs, the air was all that mattered! She wanted to get dirt between her toes and run through grass.

She wanted to reach out and hug someone. Everyone.

Then an abrupt noise rang through her ears as a strange voice yelled excitedly….

“Doctor get in here quick! I think she is coming back!”