1 step forward, 3 steps back.

"CUT!!" My director said as he waved his hands madly at me, I smiled and thought I had done a good job, until, I saw the director's face. Ugh. Wrong again.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

Well, at least I tried, I said to myself as I smiled at the thought of how hard I worked for this position and now that I am in this position, well, it's complicated.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I've always been forgotten, not in a way where I am left behind but in a way where I work so very hard to do something for someone and that someone, forgot about me, like, I didn't even existed.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

Of course, I try my best to smile all the way, but, I'm only human.

I can't hold my feelings to myself for a very long time without breaking down and crying alone.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

But after every breakdown episode, when I step out of the room, there is always another, ready, wide smile on my face. Ready to face the long and dangerous journey, until, once more, I can have a rest and a breakdown episode.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I know what all of you might think of, "You can't just can't always keep your feelings to yourself like that." "You'll have a mental sickness soon if you keep doing that." "You better meet a therapist soon, I have a number." "Stop that, better sooner than later." BLA BLA BLA Many people keep saying that, but, in reality, they're the ones who do it all to me. *sigh*

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

Oh this life, I don't know what else I can do.

I pray every night and every day for the health and long lives for so many other people.

But no one prays for me.

I help everyone and every creature, plant, human, or animal every day if I can. Even if I only have two hands and is just a little girl.

But no one helps me.

I smile every day because people say when you smile others smile, I have smiled every day.

But no one else smiled. At least, none except my core family, and even now, that's not very common.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I don't know what freaking else.

I've done everything, helped everyone, prayed for everyone, and generally done all the things people asked for.

Nobody, ever, ever helped.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I don't wanna leave this world, but this world is dangerous.

I try to warn that there is a hole in front but they keep walking, then they fall. All I can do is call an ambulance. :(

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I really wish the world treated me differently. Because if I ever stop helping, smiling, doing something, people always comment on me saying: "Help this, do this, help that, do that, smile wider, look thinner." They DO NOT realize that they themselves don't do what I do.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

I feel like I'm playing Monopoly over and over again, and lose over and over again, even though I have been kind to other players.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

Basically, this is a story where I pour the pitcher of my feelings to.

I'm sorry to all those people that I maybe have done wrong.

Sorry.

1 step forward, 3 steps back.

Here's a little poem:

In the depths of solitude, a girl resides,

Her heart heavy with sorrow, her spirit defied.

She toils tirelessly, unnoticed and unseen,

A forgotten soul, lost in a world so mean.

She does everything asked, with utmost care,

Yet her efforts go unnoticed, as if she's not there.

Her voice is but a whisper, drowned in the noise,

Her presence fades away, like a forgotten toy.

She wears a smile upon her face each day,

But behind it lies a sadness that won't go away.

Her tears fall silently, like raindrops in the night,

As she wonders why she's always out of sight.

She longs for recognition, for someone to see,

The strength and resilience that lies within she.

But the world keeps turning, oblivious to her plight,

Leaving her feeling invisible, lost in the fight.

She dreams of being heard, of having a voice,

Of breaking free from this suffocating choice.

But the walls around her grow taller each day,

And hope slowly dwindles, fading away.

Yet amidst the darkness, a flicker of light,

A glimmer of hope that ignites her inner fight.

For deep within her soul, there's a fire burning bright,

A determination to rise above this endless night.

She gathers her strength and stands up tall,

No longer content with being ignored by all.

With every step she takes, she finds her way,

Breaking free from the chains that held her at bay.

And as she emerges from the shadows' embrace,

The world starts to notice her radiant grace.

For she is no longer just a girl who's been ignored,

But a force to be reckoned with, one they can't afford.

So let this be a reminder to all who pass by,

To never underestimate the power of one's cry.

For even in silence, there's strength to be found,

In the girl who was forgotten, but never truly bound.

And here's another sad poem:

In the depths of solitude, a girl resides,

Forgotten and ignored, her heart silently cries.

She toils and she labors, doing everything she can,

Yet her efforts go unnoticed, like grains of sand.

Her days are filled with tasks and chores,

But no one sees the weight she bore.

She longs for recognition, a simple word of praise,

But it seems her existence is lost in a haze.

She is a shadow in a crowded room,

A whisper in the wind, fading too soon.

Her voice is soft, afraid to be heard,

For fear of rejection, her soul is stirred.

She yearns to stand up, to make herself known,

But anxiety grips her heart like a stone.

The thought of confrontation fills her with dread,

So she remains silent, tears unshed.

Her sadness engulfs her like a heavy cloak,

As she watches others bask in the spotlight's stroke.

She wonders why she's invisible, why she's unseen,

While others shine brightly, like stars in a dream.

But deep within her lies a flicker of light,

A spark of courage ready to ignite.

She knows that she must find her voice,

To break free from this prison of choice.

For too long she has allowed herself to be unseen,

But now it's time for her true self to convene.

With each step forward, she gains strength anew,

No longer content with being someone's residue.

She stands tall and speaks her truth,

No longer confined by the fear of reproof.

Her words resonate with power and grace,

As she finally finds her rightful place.

No longer forgotten or ignored,

Her presence is felt and adored.

For she has learned that her worth lies within,

And no one can take that away or diminish.

In the end, she realizes that it was never about their validation or praise,

But about finding her own voice and embracing her own ways.

She is no longer defined by the sadness she once knew,

For she has risen above, and her spirit shines through.

Whew, thanks, and sorry, I wish you'd appraise me,

Whew I'm sad, wish you'd thank me!

Whew I'm mad, hoped to get at least a goody bag?

Whew that's all, along with the weight, my feet still drag.

THANK YOU! :) :(