5 minutes-To the end

5 Minutes- To the end

Breaking out in waters as I try to hold my tears, the intense ache in my chest as if someone was walloping my heart , churning stomach, mind in overdrive; unable to hold the moment passing by and the intense need to clasp on my breathe as I was loosing out of it, everything was accepted when he said " Goodbye, I hope we cross path again ", but none was felt when he waived through the window of the bus he boarded.I was standing there cold as a stone, my fist clenched, looking at him and not feeling even an ounce of emotion surfacing me.

What was happening? Was I out of my senses ? I knew nothing, i stood there bewildered trying to anticipate what was happening, I was fine yet, my inner turmoil had a different breeze of thoughts flowing that disagreed on me being shattered in pieces yet chasing each and every doggerel conversation we had.

Theory of "7 seconds after death" , where a person recalls all activities of his life in 7 seconds was now bestowed upon me , 5 minutes to the final departure and i was reminiscing all the time we spent together.I didn't just recall the enamored memories ,but even those which were fatuous.It didn't start anywhere in between, but aimed of being from prologue to epilogue.And it started like...

He entered the room out of blue one day, the entire class was in a mayhem we had our test, probably the hardest one.No one knew when he entered we all were busy mugging up the entire textbook , each student was chanting formulas like mantras that were ment to save life and a voice hit our ears ,"Students, meet your new teacher, he will be taking over your classes from tomorrow", every eye in the class rose to catch a quick glimpse of him standing and continuing there work.I did the same there he stood in his tenuous yet flamboyant confidence looking at everybody. As he looked from one corner of class to other there I was amidst the only pair of eyes looking at him not because of being awestruck but just because that interruption caused me to forget what I was trying to mug up for ages now, we had an eye contact and he gave me the most effulgent smile I had ever seen, I rolled my eyes and continued chanting the mantras.

One day my entire group was planning on having a small trip as the exams were finally over, and that marked our second meeting he fascinated his interest on discovering the city and asked if he could join and we agreed on it,we went on a trip together but the trip was just an opening to a maze where we both entered, we started knowing each other a little by little from family to friends and from relations to whereabouts.That was a start to a innocuous chapter in my life just waiting to turn into turbulence forever.

Everyday started with him teaching us about phenomenon of physics, the laws of motion, velocity and force , doubt session filled with papers and their tiring solution and me being the curious as god forbid I liked physics for nuanced reason was always present till the end of sessions alone and yet inquisitive.It all started from that point when I had so many doubts I had to take extra classes from him and me and my friend readily agreed on joining them.

The classed were subjective but after class our bonding festered, three of us started engaging on different things which fascinated us we became friends, he had no one in this town and thus found a friend in us who he looked up for his all extraneous purposes. We tuned in well and we enjoyed his company so solipsistic decided to be his friends.It was a bit paradoxical for a student and a teacher to be so good friends that, rumours now had it's wings out like a vulture ready to snack at its prey. But the condemnation was way out of thought, because the bond we had was ethereal and as we knew friendship had various forms and this was a form of friendship which even being different from normal had it's own existence in our lives which had it's own importance.

Friendship grew stronger, all three of us were different in our own ways we had our trio of jovial me, curious him, and sangfroid her and we had our own ways of finding our own centroid, me being the immature of the group often pulled them in doing things they never did in normal, dancing like idiots, cycling down the hill with eye closed, screaming in movie theatre I made them so things they never imagined before all was going fine but, the bubble of emotion was at its pinnacle and ready to burst emotions which each of us had hidden through inside us and none confesses them until this point .

Amidst the apocryphal "Just friends " lulled unsaid things each of us were unable to say, our friendship had secrets no one knew and once out could have broken the triangle into such a part were two heralded their victory while one was devastated and left alone and that happened, that point came when unjustifiably everything was going to spill out, the lulled reason woke in such a fury that it took different fledge and was ready for a tantamount effect as anticipated. Emotions were tortuous and do were situations gonna be hereafter. 

Comprehended by the word "Friends" laid the unsaid emotion of blooming infatuation we possesed.Each one of us on the inside had the raw emotion of feelings , yes I and my friend both developed an infatuation for him which was naive and we knew that it was unacceptable and rumors that we overlooked by inserting our unadulterated friendship shield had now accepted it's defeat but was not ready for the doom. Not only us, he to conceled within him a feeling we both were unaware of, he did have feelings but who were they for, and what made him say them out loud is yet a mystery. 

Staring at the movie screen, sipping on cold drink there I was sitting in the theatre unknown what was coming my way.That day only two of us I and him decided to catch up on a movie.I was all engrossed in the movie, the protagonist just about to steal the diamond protected with high-tech security ,twenty guards surrounding it, he decived as a sculpture in nearby glass ready to embezell the diamond using automated toy car, the protagonist reached closer to the diamond just about to pick it up from the rostrum in the middle of the museum, my heart racing, eyes filled with curiosity judging how is it gonna happen unaware of my surrounding, and all of a sudden I was pulled; the next moment I know he had his lips on mine, all the odity turned into perplexed expression as I was trying to understand what was happening, his eyes were but there were mine wide open unable to process. I pushed him away not knowing what to say ,did I want it to happen, I always had feelings for him, is it right though, all those words were screaming inside my head trying to justify the situation and debating whether what happened was right or not.As I was still holding back cerebrating what was happening Iooking at him he placed his lips on mine again, this time even the heart being in conflict with brain about the situation my lips spoke a different story, they were enjoying the softness of his lips, the fervance of his hands caressing my hairs and cheeks, figures tracing the veins of my neck and back to my face ,my brain was overtaken by the adoration and passion and there it was happening in its passion keeping all the relations aside, not judging what is right or wrong, he looked in to my eyes and said I have always liked you more than a friend but never knew how to say it , we again matched but this time on a precarious term, and filled with all the adoration, passion and heat of the moment reasonable thoughts left my mind and the attraction for him in my heart rose up saying " Let's give it a try", and a chivalry hit the spine as I was all ready to enter a relation that was skeptical, palliate and had no future. 

After that day a series stared hiding and lieing were everyday chores, we wanted no one to know about this not even my friend who was the third pillar of our friendship; everything changed, the trio was now breaking we had our own time , she was left alone unaware of what was happening behind her back, but that was for not long when she discovered what was happening and still chose not to speak.We lied everyday, but were closest to each other, I and him grew closer and now we were just inseparable but was that all, was I still unaware of some facts I had to know ,was I still in a dark room only having light on things he wanted me to see, did I know him well enough to give it my all or the sheets were just about to unravel and truth was beholding to open up. 

My intuition weren't wrong, he had secrets many of them I wouldnt even like to hear on my darkest days, he had a fiance, I came to know about it and was devasted nothing crossed my mind but only the feeling to confront him, and he said he had loved her for ages now and didn't know how to leave her, he dint want to leave her she was his ultimate love, I fell out of words knew nothing, don't see this coming but was justifying and giving air to my own fire of thoughts were i gave in myself and thought "What if we continue the way we are, maybe one day I might replace her", laughs on me as that maybe never happened. 

Knowing everything I choose to stay, I choose to overlook, I choose to drive my hopes high up the the hill just to make it jump of the cliff, when I believed him for his words " I don't want her, I want you " , " You give me freedom, she's so stringent about her ways"," I can't be with her, she's strangling me ", but one day he came up to me and said; 

"I am leaving this town forever, I want her to be close to me I want to achieve my dream of marrying her".

And those words were leaving his mouth I felt a rope chocking my neck, I couldn't even cry for help, my heart was tearing , I was hurt and the only thing that left my mouth was "When are you leaving", he said , " In two days, will you like to spend these two days with me I want to hold these two days with you forever in my memory", looking at him I just said, "yes",and left. We spent the two days together, I knew I was seeing him for the last time in my life, I knew he would never return and look back , I knew I wouldn't be even in his memories once he left, but I wanted to fill my memories with his pictures and spent the two days with him.

I was back in my senses as the bus honked to depart finally, the final goodbye , I saw him leaving forever the bus moved, I dint, I stood there took a deep breath , standing alone in scorching heat I left everything behind at the bus stop, and like those 7 seconds after death you loose your senses to even reminisce,as the soul leaves your body I lost my immaturity as his memories left my body forever, that very moment. I looked up at the sky ,smiled and walked away.