Solitarium

Breath hitched in his throat, making him choke on the stale cell’s air. How long had it been? Too long- He stared through the darkness, his eyes had adjusted to this dank place long ago, how long? He could never answer. He touched at his body, his bones protruded from his thinned frame and his bent spine pressed against his skin. He sat hunched on the cool, dank floor, waiting… for what? Alone he had sat in that cell, wondering if there was even a door anymore. The constant dripping of liquid from the ceiling, splashing against the cool stones nearly constantly kept him awake, staring into the blackness.

They started feeding him less and less a long time ago, how long, again? No, you could never answer that, again. “Leave me, let me rest!” He shouted, to the best of his ability, into the blackness, “Leave me be… your… your speech sickens me-” his voice, once strong and powerful now sounded like the faintest whisper. Not even a shadow, nor a ghost could speak as quietly as him. “quiet yourself, i want nothing of-” he broke into a fit of coughs, though little air could fill his lungs as dust and dirt had already taken up part of his lungs’ space.

He doubled over, clutching at his chest, his ribs threatening to break with each violent convulsion. His choked-out voice echoed throughout the walls, hurling his voice right back into his face.

Saliva dribbled from his lips as he straightened himself up, still sitting on the floor. “Silence yourself… you are a fiend. A beast!” Silence yourself old man. “Old? No, I am not old, I…” he racked his brain for his age, inside of these four blackened walls existence dragged, time meant nothing. No hands on a face to point and direct you when to eat, when to sleep.

A tiny squeak could be heard behind him, the clicking of minuscule claws against the slightly moist floor approached the trapped man, growing louder and louder. Its teeth suddenly pierce his papery flesh, sinking deep, slicing and ripping at his collapsed arteries and rolling veins like a knife through tender meat. Violent shocks of pain shot up and down his arms, causing him to wail and scream for a person who is never going to come.

His precious red life force slowly started draining from his body filling the cracks and crevices of the clumsily constructed stone floors and walls. With whatever strength he had inside of him, he swatted at the rat sending the tiny mammal not very far behind him. It hit the ground with a dull thump, it hissed quietly before slowly crawling away, its feet padded against the freezing stone and back into the depths, likely watching him. Waiting for him to wake up no more. But for now, it waited. So patiently. It was in no hurry for its belly was nearly always full. Not yet, my plagued friend, not yet…

“you are against me! How dare you-”

I am against nobody. I do not cheer for your downfall.

“Then who are you?”

I am… of no importance, why must you care to ask? I have not yet asked who you were.

“Were you planning on it?”

There was silence before an answer, No. I don’t think i will.

“well then leave me alone! Leave me be in my own prison. Let me rot in silence!” The man wailed out into the pitch black air, “I have no desire to conversate with you,” he shuts his gaunt eyes, though it does nothing, “you.. beast you.. fiend.. you devil!”

That will be enough. I am no devil.

“well then who are you?” there was silence again. “answer me!” the withered man tried to shout again but was quickly cut off by his antique vocal cords, once again he was thrown into a fit of coughs, he clutched at his throat. He felt around the empty space, air, yes… there it was. He followed the sound of faint dripping, his hands scraped against the floor, closer and closer to the faint clink clink clink in front of him. A small metal pan lied just within arms length. He hungrily grabbed at it, the grainy rusted metal rubbed off on his fingers leaving an unpleasant residue against this cracked and dry skin. The lonely man had been saving that water for awhile now, his body cried for just a small drink, something to soothe his withered esophagus. With shaky hands he tilted the bowl, sending the precious resource past his brittle lips and to his throat, ambrosia…

Haha… Ambrosia? Sewer water, you filthy man. The huddled man coughed again, sending water out of his nose and out of his mouth. Realizing what he had done he moved to the ground, pathetically lapping at the cold stone like a street dog.

How sad of you. He wiped his mouth as tears ran down the man’s face, humiliated yet somehow alone. “what do you want from me?” as his tears flowed sparingly, he clutched his sides as his voice quivered. “are you death?”

No. My identity is no use to you. Who are YOU, old man? Behind your scraggly beard and damaged skin there is a person, a man.

Now the old man for once was silent, choosing his words carefully, “I am…” his words and mind trailed off and beyond the thick walls. Think.

He let himself travel deep into his mind, darkness, for what seemed like miles, a small burst of light almost blinded his mind’s eye. Sunlight? Yes. It was beautiful. The quivering man’s muscles relaxed a bit as he looked further into his mind. A tree, deep green leaves swayed beautifully in the wind, but not just one, but two, and now three. The giant Oaks they seemed to multiply before his eyes, creating a vast forest before him, full of life and air. A single solitary call from a lone bird sang out from a branch, becoming him into the forest. One foot after the other, he walked deeper into the wood, warm soil squeezed in between his toes sending a mild shiver up and down his body. Not a shiver from cold, as his body gently moved, he could feel warmth inside of him as sunshine hit his body. In the distance the sound of giggling rose up, and laughter. “Who?” he asked as he tried his best to peek around the gigantic trees, gripping at the bark with his tan and calloused hands. Who do you think that is?

“I don’t..” he stuttered, taking a few small steps backwards.

There is nothing to fear.

“Nerezza!” A woman emerged from a tiny clearing, her deep brown curls bounced as she ran, framing her narrow fair skinned face. She smiled, her lips matching her rose colored cheeks, as she got closer, he could see that she was laughing slightly. She was barefoot as well, she wore a tan colored dress, the sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and she had a brown apron tied neatly around her waist. The woman ran right at Nerezza, leaping into his arms her body wiggled excitedly as she kissed his cheek.

The man hesitated slightly as he held onto her, staring into her face. She was beautiful… “who is… Nerezza?” he stuttered, barely able to understand. “oh don’t joke around like that, love” she says, the edges of her mouth twitch slightly as there is a twinkle in her eye. His fingers gripped her legs tightly, “I am- Nerezza..?”

“Of course!” she replies, “now, enough of your games, lets go home,” Nerezza looked up into the sky, the sun was nearly directly overhead, causing the trees above him to cast dancing shadows and patches of light upon his sun kissed skin. “come on” she wiggles around in his arms again, looking directly into his face, her deep brown eyes nearly piercing his own. The man began to walk, carrying the loving woman bridle style in his arm, she chatted away, speaking of things he couldn’t quite remember but he listened, growing more and more intrigued.

As he walked they passed a river, looking into the water he stared at his reflection, he couldn’t help but stop, staring in awe at the crystal clear water. Nerezza’s body looked different, restored, his arms bulged with slender muscles through his red tunic and pants, his face was handsome, stubble dotted his jaw and his upper lip. He head a full head of healthy wavy black hair, a few minutes passed by, not realizing that he had just been standing there.

Shes waiting for you.

“oh!” he looked back at the woman. “you enjoying the view?” she teased, “Come on, we are nearly there. You see our house?” she pointed. They made their way into the home, and he set her down. She brushed her hair back, “are you okay? You haven’t said much since you left”

He wanted to tell her about the tortures of the prison, his dank cell, the lack of food, the voice, the rats- he parted his lips, still standing in the door way, a cool breeze blew into the home, briefly cooling his sweaty body.

Don’t.

After a moment he closed his mouth, and smiled before pulling her into a hug, “I just got a bit lost in thought, i suppose”

She shakes her head good naturedly, “you’ve always got your head in the clouds, Nerezza”

“Of course-”

Her name is Angelina.

“Angelina. Of course, Angelina” her name escaped his lips, it felt so sweet as it exited his mouth. This felt right to him, he belonged here, not in that hellish cobblestone cage. Angelina took his hand and brought him into the bedroom, they flopped on the bed, not saying a word. The room remained silent as she looked over at her, the covers loosely thrown over their shoulders, he reached out, gently taking her hand, stroking her supple soft skin with his thumb. He closed his eyes, sighing quietly as he let his thoughts fade away.

Darkness again. Sharp pangs struck at his body, he layed on his side clutching at his shoulder, his ribs slowly rose and fell as he shivered on the floor. The quiet dripping of his water source, much like a clock, ticked as it dribbled into his tin bowl. He felt his face, long overgrown and matted hair sat in its rightful place, nearly covering his eyes and obscuring his mouth and chin. “no… no! Why did you bring me back here?”

I did not bring you anywhere, you foolish man.

“You are a liar- you are a…” he began to hack, he clutched at his chest, wheezing in a breath of dank recycled air. You tasted freedom, and got drunk off of it. Even in your withering mind you are nothing but a prisoner.

“NO! I’m free, she is waiting for me… I can see her” he lay his head back down on the stones underneath his body. The sounds of rats lurked from the corners of the room, watching with anticipation, “Angelina…” She stood there, she seemed to be glowing, but the room remained dark. Nerezza slowly reached his hand out, his bones creaked quietly with each movement, the smiling woman took his bony hand, caressing it as he did before.

“Up to your feet, my love, we can not spend the whole day resting” she slowly pulled him up, his legs wobbled, threatening to drop him down to the floor below. As she brought him closer to her, he could feel the bed again, warmth. Comforting warmth. Against his body she lay, he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. She hummed quietly as she began to doze off.

In that lonely cage his body wilted away, nothing but a cold shell of a man. A man who had lost it all, even himself. Now laying on the floor, free from his cold steel shackles. “I am free…” Came the last words from his crusted lips.