Lyrics of Life

It's a bright, sunny day. 75 degrees, colorful wildflowers sprout throughout the park, they are every color imaginable, birds of all kinds sing their cheerful tune, it truly is the perfect day. 16 year old Jae walks through the park, she has not a care in the world. Her earbuds cancel out any thoughts, only the lyrics of classic rock and punk beats are prominent in her mind. Every weekend Jae comes to her favorite smoke spot in the woods of the park. She comes alone. No family, no friends, no one to bother her. This is her time to relax. Her time to be herself. Her time to actually be happy for once. Mondays through Fridays she is non-stop. Her mother keeps her busy with after school clubs, art lessons, a job at the local pizza place and schoolwork. Her life is one big circle. Get up at 6, school from 7-2, clubs 2-3, art from 3-4, job 4:30-7, dinner 7-8, school work 8-11, sleep and the cycle repeats. She wants nothing more than to get away from her controlling mother and this stupid, small town. Jae lives in rural Washington. It's a small, consertivive town that likes tradition and Christina values. Jae has nothing against these places, there's nothing wrong with them, but she wants to live in the big city. She has absolutely no idea what she wants to do with her life, but she knows what she wants is not thin in this small town.

The park is beautiful, with a clear creek and long, dirt pathways. As Jae makes her way along the muddy paths, she soon approaches the end of the park,her smoke spot. A huge tree in the very back of the park, it has limbs big enough to lay down on and leaves thick enough to conceal her. She throws her backpack up on the large limb and hoists herself up. She takes in the magnificent view of the Washington park. Trees for miles, a quiet creek and beautiful flowers that are all colors of the rainbow. She takes out a blunt and a hot pink lighter out of her bags and lights it. Everything is calm. The birds sing to her, the leaves sway with the slight breeze and the sun shines on her pale skin creating an orange glow. As the sun sets she climbs down the tall tree and begins her journey back through the park. Earbuds in, she gets lost in the music. Her feet carry her home, its muscle memory by now. She nears the battered down white house. She gets home at 7, just in time for dinner. The meatloaf smelled attracious, so did she. The mixture of sweat, weed and meatloaf did not sit well with her mom. Jaes mother is a strict catholic. She makes sure everything is in order and is traditional. 

“Why do you smell like pot”? 

Jae had never been caught before. He mind went into panic mode. Even through her stoned and clouded mind she could tell this wasn’t going to end well. 

“I’m going to take a shower”, Jae tried to avoid talking as much as possible. Confrontation was the absolute last thing she wanted. Her mother scared her. One wrong move or word and her life was over. This time, she knew she messed up bad. Smoking was a heinous crime in her others eyes. It was the devils lettuce. She knew she had to get away before her mother could investigate further. But before Jae could turn around, her mother grabbed her wrist. She held an iron grip. Jae yelped in pain. Her mother's fingers burned her skin. Her mother's icy blue-grey started straight into her gold- ocean blue eyes. She could feel the disappointment and punishment that was coming. It was going to be the worst she had ever encountered. Her mother tightened her already iron grip and dragged her upstairs, all while her dad and brother watched from the dining table. With each step her pulse increased. 

“Mom stop! No don’t! Please” Jae cried. But her mom had gone blind with rage. If the news got out that her daughter is a pothead, their reputation would be ruined. Jaes mom kicked open the door and threw her to the ground. She snatched the backpack from Jaes hands and threw it into the hallway. She turned back around and faced Jae. She didn’t say anything, but she started. She composed herself and grinned. A maniac, toothy grin. Jae had never seen that before. 

“No leaving the house, no electronics, no leaving your room, i’ll bring food up to you. Got it”? Jae couldn’t speak. She just trembled on the floor. She tried, but could only speak out an odd noise. So instead, she nodded. Her mother then turned around and shut the door. 

Jae layed on the dirty carpet frozen with fear. She looked at her wrist and the marks her mother's grip left. The 5 fingers were clearly visible and were already bruising. Jae could only think of one thing. 

“I have to get out of here”. She layed on the floor for the next 9 hours. Everything came to her thoughts all at once. She was overwhelmed, yet numb. At 3am, she opened her window and jumped. Leaves rustled below her as she landed in a bush. Then, she ran. She ran all the way to her smoke spot. Like when listening to music, her feet carried her. Except there was no music, only her thoughts. Overwhelming thoughts. She finally arrived at the tree. The smoke tree. This tree, at the very back of the park, was the tallest tree. Jae started at the tree. She looked up and around. She then spotted a pointy rock. Jae grabbed this rock and carved her initials into the tree. JR, which stands for Jae Rockwell. Jae knew what she had to do. So she climbed and climbed, until she reached the top. The branches were thin, so she broke them and moonlight was shown through the hole. The big moon and the shining stars gave hope to the hopeless. A crystal tear fell down her face. Without hesitation, Jae jumped. Every single thought was going through her head. Every good and bad memory tried to squeeze its way through her mind before she would hit the ground. With every memory, every thought and every dream, came regret.

“Why did I do this”?