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I didn’t want to go but I promised her. I swore I would visit it once she was gone and now that that day has arrived I find myself in the car speeding down an old dirt road. The bumps in the road shake the car as I tread carefully through the dirt, I try to keep my vision clear. Blinded by the sun like her smile, reminded by how it held me hostage. Her smile, her eyes, her clothes, her blood, it all comes rushing back. Her body cold against the hard tile floor. The screams when she was found, the feeling I had. That sinking feeling in my gut. The promise I had made to her. I didn’t want to come here. I’m not one to break a promise. I make it up the bumpy driveway. I stumble out of the car, legs weak from hours of sitting still. My mind runs through the different scenarios. The hope I hold on to slowly begins to fade as I reach for the doorknob.
My mouth curved at the sight. She stands in front of me, so alive and healthy, she can’t be real. I reach out to touch her and her skin is warm. So alive. Her eyes sparkle at the sight of me. So alive. I can’t think of any reason for her to smile at me. She’s so alive. Her green eyes like the leaves on the trees. So alive. She’s so so alive. She’s real. At least I think she is. She reaches out and hugs me. I can feel it in my chest.
THUD
THUD
THUD
THUD
It echoes in my mind. That dreadful feeling. The heart in my chest, it makes me want to gag. The memories course through my veins, every little reminder of our time together. The reminders of what I did. I try to ask how she’s here. Why? Why did she forgive me? This embrace she holds me in. Why me? All I can manage is a muffled “are you real?”
THUD
THUD
THUD
THUD
Her heart was just the same.
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She’s suffocating. Her arms around me. Her hands grasped my throat. This is not forgiveness.
Her. Everything about her. I loved her. I love her. I am such an idiot. Why did I do it?
I did it didn’t I? I killed her. I remember every thought I had when it happened. I am so sorry my love. My Kloe. Mine. I destroyed you. I feel your grip tighten. I can feel my airways close. Please! Please just
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I feel numb
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I hate it.
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The feeling of dread.
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I can’t do it anymore.
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Please stop!
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Stop!! I’m so so
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Her grip tightens.
Listen to me!
Stop!
Please!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
Sto-!
THE DEAD CAN KILL
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