THE TRYOUT

THE TRYOUT

Marty Desmond had a stubborn streak. He loved playing baseball but he lacked the talent to even make his high school baseball team. But, that disappointment didn't keep him from practicing any chance he got.

               His friend, Arnie, told him that The Major League team in their city was holding an open tryout on a day when The Major League team was on the road. Players who performed well at the tryout might be extended a minor league contract. All Marty had to do was complete an entry form on the internet.

               Marty said, "It sounds good, but most of those players will be more experienced than I, and I don't want to make a fool of myself. Besides, the chances I would be selected are remote as my baseball resume is sparse."

               Arnie also had a stubborn streak. He responded, "You'll never know unless you try."

               So, at Arnie's urging, Marty went to the internet and filled out the entry form. Two weeks later he received an email from the team advising him his entry was accepted. It turned out the team received so many responses to the tryout, they did a random draw to select the attendees. The email advised the date and time for the tryout.

               Marty got a lift to the stadium from another friend, David. Marty had seen many major league games at that ballpark. In the past when attending games, he would enter through the ticket holder portal. He was overwhelmed walking into the stadium through the player's entrance. It thrilled him to know he was treading the same pavement where the big leaguers walked. A guide directed him to the visiting team's locker room. After changing into his uniform, he took the walkway underneath the stands to the visiting team's dugout. For the first time in his life, he felt like a real ballplayer entering the dugout through the door in the walkway and spying the beautiful, big green field. 

               He stepped onto the field with the other players and listened to the head scout's instruction. The players were told the team would be evaluating them in three specific areas: Speed of foot; arm strength and accuracy; displaying power at home plate. 

               The first test was a speed race against the clock. Six runners lined up for a fifty-yard dash. They were racing not against each other but to display their fastest running time. In Marty's race, the other five runners were all toweling themselves off when Marty crossed the finish line. Speed was not his forte.

               To access the arm strength of each player the team situated the boys sixty yards out and had them throw to a catcher. Marty's tosses reached the intended target on two bounces. Whereas, most of the boys were able to zip their throws without a bounce.

               Before the batting segment, Marty's bladder went into overdrive. In stressful situations, Marty frequently experienced such an urgency. With the nearest bathroom not close by in the player's locker room Marty faced a serious dilemma. If he went to the men's room in the locker area he would miss his turn at-bat. That left him with two choices. He could take his turn hitting while performing his urine dance or let it out near first base where the stands were empty.

               Marty opted for the latter choice. As soon as he finished the deed, his name was called to home plate to take his turn hitting. Marty didn't have a lot of power at the plate. In sandlot ball, his forte of hitting into double plays earned him the nickname "DP".        Marty's turn at-bat didn't inspire the scouts to think they were looking at the second coming of Mickey Mantle.

               The tryout ended after all the players got to hit. The head scout announced that the team will send a written analysis of each player's performance within two weeks. Those players who were most impressive would get a telephone call within a week to come in for an interview.

               The players were then instructed to go back to the locker room, take showers and change into their civilian clothes. A sandwich and beverage would be waiting for them before they left for home. Sitting in the visiting team's locker room, snacking on sandwiches, and talking baseball with the other aspirants gave Marty the feeling he was on the cusp of a baseball career.

               Marty left the tryout in high spirits believing he did enough to impress the scouts. That evening Marty celebrated with friends at a local pizzeria. He recounted the events of the day raving about his performance. He confidently stated he expected to hear from the team within a week requesting an interview.

               When the call didn't come Marty scratched his head in puzzlement. He wondered how could the scouts not have appreciated his talent. Now, he waited in anticipation for the assessment letter. The letter arrived with the team's logo on the return address. Marty tore open the letter. The assessment read as follows: Thank you for attending our tryout. We hope you enjoyed the experience. We are sorry to tell you we have no interest in furthering your baseball career. What we look for in a prospect are natural talents. An attribute that one possesses that can be refined. So putting this as gently as possible our scouts’ opinions were that you lacked any of the natural talents we seek. For instance, your speed of foot matched what we would expect from a farm mule; an adolescent child would be able to throw the ball more accurately and harder than you exhibited; the only aspect of your hitting that impressed our scouts was the whiff of your bat circulating the warm air sending a refreshing breeze their way.

               The assessment letter continued: However, there is one area where we believe you have enormous talent and would be of use to our organization. We had a scout in the upper deck with binoculars who spotted you near first base “watering” the field. He submitted a scouting report on that incident. He reported your steady strong urination stream would come in handy as a groundskeeper in the event of a drought. Therefore, we are offering you a position as a standby groundskeeper. If you are interested, please contact us.

               Marty jumped for joy, realizing all his hard work finally paid off as soon he would appear on a major league baseball field.  

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