FAMILY IS NOT FOREVER

I always believed family was forever. I believed family can conquer anything. I believed any situation we can get through. I was young. My mind was young but family was everything. Here is my story.

From the time I was a little girl I believed my family was strong and tight knit. That we would be together always.

There were my parents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents on both sides. We would come together at which ever house and have fun.

There was food and drinks, music and dancing. I was happy that we were together.

Family vacations were always fun. I always loved going to Pennsylvania to my uncle's house. I loved the summers there. I loved going to the pool and jumping off the diving board.

Me and my brother always had a diving board contest. It was so much fun. It was in Pennsylvania where I met my good friend Rachel.

Rachel lived across the street from my uncle's house. We would have sleepovers at each other's houses. We would ride our bikes together, go to the movies and so much more.

My dad would take me, Rachel, my brother and cousins deer watching at night. The nights in Pennsylvania are spooky so he would tell us spooky stories.

I loved every moment. I was always sad to leave. I was sad to leave Rachel but we kept in touch. I was happy for that.

At least I had my family. Life was good. I was happy. Family time was always happy time.

Pennsylvania wasn't the only place me and my family went too. I remember a time when me, my brother and parents drove all the way to Orlando.

We had family in Orlando we wanted to go visit. It took us two to three days to get there. It was fun. I had a good time.

I had a good time seeing the family down there. We also went to universe studios. I love riding the rides. We went to the beach as well.

Then after all the fun we drove back home and back to our other family. Back to the family dinners and more good times.

Family dinners was always spent at my grandparent's house. The food was good. The company was better.

When the holidays rolled around me and my brother put the tree up in our house and our grandparent's house. Those were good memories.

I had many more good memories spent with my family and one of those memories was going to see Santa Claus at Macy's with my grandparent's.

My grandparents took me and my brother to the Macy's in Harold Square. I loved the window display. It was so magical. Being a kid was fun especially during the holidays.

I wrote a Christmas list of course. I always gave one to my parents and my grandparents. I got mostly what I wanted. I loved my presents regardless of what I got.

Memories are so easy to come by. But remembering the good times is always the hardest thing to do especially during the holiday season. Those are always the best memories.

Here is another good memory. Christmas Eve, I always stayed up to open presents. At times it was always hard to stay awake. The promise of opening presents kept me up.

I loved staying with my grandparents . When my parents were working, I always stayed at their house. They gave me a lot. I was always grateful to them.

As you grow older things change. Life changes. When you are young you don't realize what's going on around you. You are oblivious to everything.

I was oblivious to the tension surrounding my dad and uncle. The tension surrounding my parents and grandparents. My family was my family.

Secrets were there too. Secrets that my parents never told me. I'm not going to name those secrets. I was shocked to find out my family had secrets.

There was something else I never notice but I was aware of it. But never paid too much attention to. Alcohol was a big part of my family. It was an addiction my dad and uncle suffered from.

I remembered as a child seeing my uncle drinking and coming home drunk. I didn't understand what was happening. Then when I was seven, I remembered going to see my uncle in rehab.

He was getting help which was good. I just wished my dad got the help he needed. He didn't and things got worse. As I got older, I started to see a big change within my family.

We no longer had the happy times. No longer were the family dinners or the good times we used to have.

I stopped seeing my cousins from my father side. The family broke apart. It happened quick. I didn't see it coming.

I saw them from time to time. It wasn't like it used to be. The tension between my dad and grandparents were and the tension between my parents. As I grew older the tension grew ten-fold.

My parents began fighting more. My dad stayed out late drinking. I grew tried and scared of all the fighting. What was I to do?

Birthdays, holidays weren't the same anymore. Family dinners were non-existent. All the good times were gone.

Many of my cousins on my father's side moved to Florida. I rarely saw them. Time went on and I grew older. My parents grew apart.

My dad left and nothing was the same anymore. My mom was the only parent I had left. I barely saw my dad. It was hard. Life was difficult.

The good memories were still there. I had many pictures of me during the good days. During the happy days.

Once I got older, I never went back to Pennsylvania. Me and Rachel grew apart and we stopped talking. I still had the memories of me and Rachel.

Memories that's all I have of a time when a big family was part of my life. You go into life believing family is everything.

Then everything changes in the blink of an eye. That's what happened to me. I believed everything was good, that family was everything then in one moment everyone is gone and all you have left are the memories.