Lines (In-Between) Lines

Contains: Strong/Explicit language

“I am so sick of being the only one at work that’s broke.”

“What do you mean? We have money. We can save, we just have to watch our spending.”

“Sure we can or do you mean I have to save? I have to make the money. (I am so tired)”

“Wait. What the heck does that mean? What are you trying to say?”

“I am just saying, when are you going to pick up the slack? (This is your fault) You are always broke and always having to touch the savings. (I wish I had a better partner) It’s like I put money in there and it just disappears. It's pointless putting money in there.(I want to blame you)”

“All the money I make goes to bills and us. (I swear, I give everything) You know that! Can we please just talk about this(Without fighting)? I just want to know where this is coming from.”

“My god, every month? It feels like I have to take care of everything.” 

“Hey, you know that’s not true. I clean and I cook.”

“Yeah, but I have to ask! And I am talking about money! Hello!!! Anyone home?!” 

“When was the last time you cooked for us?!”

“Oh! So I have to make more money than you and I have to take turns cooking. Oh my God, grow up. You don’t even clean well. You clean like shit, always half-assed.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair.”

“No. That’s not a fair assessment.”

“The fuck ever.”

“When was the last time you took the dogs out for their walk? You were the one who wanted to have dogs. (You wanted to start a family)”

“I don’t give a shit about those dogs. If I had to choose between humans and animals, the answer is obvious when you’re not fucking stupid. (That hurt me, so I’ll hurt you) That’s what you get for getting hit in the head so much. Fuckin brain dead.”

“I don’t know. (I don’t want to fight) I can find a different paying job. I don’t know.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because you can be so mean sometimes. (Moments like these make me feel like you hate me so damn much) The shit you say”

“Here we go again! Boo hoo little old me. Always have to point and blame things on my anger. There she goes again, going crazy. But no one listens to me unless I start losing my shit.”

“Could we please just take a step back and try to solve this together. I’m not blaming your anger.”

“As far as jobs go, no one is hiring. But..See!!!? Why couldn’t you just think to do stuff like that without being told. I feel Like I’m the only one thinking about what’s best for this family.”

“You need to talk to me more about stuff like this. (Don’t let it build up and blow up in our faces) I’m here with you. With you! 

I am so sorry. I thought we were fine. 

We never ‘need’ for anything that can’t be covered and we can eat out almost every night. Just the other day, we treated our friends to dinner. We’ve helped both our families when they needed help and other times when they don’t need the help. You know? Right? (Please, listen to me)”

“You’re right. (I’m sorry) You know, I work real hard and I realized that I don’t have anything to show for it. All my colleagues and peers have new cars and are buying houses. I just want to know what I’m doing wrong (I feel like I’m losing.).”

“It’s ok, I’m glad we can calm down and talk it out. Maybe we can write it out.”

“What do you mean?”

“We can make a list, like a little expense report. It can have our regular bills and expenses matched against our income. Then we can plan from there.”

“Okay, that sounds good. I’m getting a little nervous.(What if I’m the problem?)”

“It’s ok, me too. (I hope she doesn’t leave me after this)”

******

“Wait, look. What about this part?”

“Yes, I have both cars and their insurance. Cell phones and the internet. Here is the average for the power and water, which you cover. And your work covers rent. That leaves me with about $80 and you with about $1,100.”

“What the hell? (Damn it, I’m the problem)”

“What?”

“I didn’t know.(I had a feeling, I’m so ashamed)”

“It’s ok. It’s ok. Yeah, not that I was keeping track but we do spend a lot on others and other people’s bills. (I keep track) The price of winning, I guess.”

“That’s why you always need help. (Cause I don’t know how to control my spending)”

“Yeah, I run in the red every paycheck but most times I can cover them. What throws off my budgeting are the odd expenses like renewing vehicle registrations or the post office. (I’m useful, please don’t throw me away)”

“I feel so stupid. We could've had thousands in our savings by now.”

“Hey, we know that now. Let’s just plan accordingly and go from there. (We have our whole lives to make things right) It's ok.”

“Thank you for doing this with me.”

“No thanks needed. It’s natural for us to have these talks.”

“Did you need more help? (I’m sorry for earlier) I can take over some of the bills you have.”

“No, thank you. I’m ok. (I’m sorry I made you feel alone) I’ll try my best not to tap into the savings, is that ok? (I don’t want to be a burden)”

“Yes, I’m so glad we did this. ( feel better about this) I am sorry for getting upset earlier.”

“It’s ok. Talk to me, we’re partners right? (Do you still love me?)”

“You’re right. (I do)”

******

“I thought a lot about what we talked about earlier. (How I’m not able to pick up the slack)”

“Okay? What is it?”

“I decided that I’m going back to school.”

“Ok, when? (really?)”

“This fall. I still have my post nine-eleven.”

“That sounds great. (We’ll see.)”

“Yeah, I’m nervous but it's ok to be nervous.”

“Mmhmm.”

******

“What do you think of my paper? (It’s horrible isn’t it?)”

“It’s pretty bad.”

“Ok, it’s fine. Give it here. I can fix it. (Sorry for asking)”

“Don’t get mad at me. Your writing seems like you're having a seizure. You asked for help.”

“Okay! I get it. I’ll fix it. (Such an ass) I’m not mad.”

__

“Hey, I’m sorry for being defensive earlier. (I know writing is my weakness, I felt stupid) Could you take a look again? (You’re the smartest person I know, please?)”

“Let me see. (It’s ok) Better, much better. See? That’s all I was trying to do, was help.”

“I know. Thank you and it does read better. You’re the smartest person I know.”

“See? Same here. I know you can do better. I think you going to school is making me want to get my masters.”

“Really?! You should. You could totally do it.”

“Thanks for always supporting me.”

“Of course! (Always, remember?)”

******

“Almost done! This is the study year, remember? Next year, I’ll sit for the exams and then graduate the following year.”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to get something off my chest. (I’ve been thinking about this for a long time)”

“Sounds serious. Ok, send it.”

“I can’t stand living here anymore. (I don’t want our life together anymore) I don’t think I can wait, I need to get out of here. (I am tired of waiting for you)”

“...”

“Don’t fuckin look at me like that! (Don’t stop me! It isn’t about you!) It’s just this place and the people, I’m so sick of it. So over it.”

“...”

“So, I’m applying for jobs in the states. (I’m leaving)”

“I’m sure that won’t take long. (They’d be crazy not to hire you) You don’t like this job right now?”

“It’s not just the job, it’s this place. This whole island. I am so sick of it all. The whole system is just so corrupt and the people are just gross.”

“Funny, there was a time where you told me to confront people who talked like that about our home.”

“It’s not the same and you know it, such an asshole. (It’s the same, I know. Don’t point it out, asshole)”

“Okay, okay, I was just saying. (It’s the fucking same)”

“What do you think? (Please, let me go)”

“Okay.(This is breaking my heart)”

“Really? (Really?)”

“Yeah, of course. (No, not really) I’ll make every effort to help you. (Cause that’s what you do for the people you love)”

“You mean it? (Yes!)”

“I do. (I wish you’d change your mind)”

“Thank you.”

“The last thing I’d want is to get between you and your dreams. (I thought I was helping you all this time) I don’t want you to continue to live a life where you aren’t happy. (I wish you were happy with me) How would this work? Long distance or did you have something else in mind?”

“Well, we’re together but if we meet other people – ”

“We can call it over from there. (This is what you wanted?) Just, could you please let me know beforehand? Just out of respect.”

“You too. Of course, I will.(No, I won’t)”

“There we go. (no, you won’t) No mess, no fuss.”

“Thank you. Truly, I knew you’d understand and when we’ve saved up, I could fly you to me.”

“Of course. (I don’t understand) We’ve fought and argued enough times. (For almost ten years and just like that, gone) Yes, definitely. (No, you won’t.)”