The Thaw

The cartilage in my nose and ears beg and ache for warmth. I tremble as I shake the lick of shivers down my spine. And the tips of my fingers turn a pale scarlet I’ve never seen before. Snow milked the floor of the Taiga, replacing the moss for white fur. My boots grind into the snow, feeling like thick salt beneath my feet. Everything was blue, dipped and glazed in a myriad of dark. Rosetta’s hair is too red. It’s too red like the red in my fingertips and cartilage. It’s so red in almost black as it bounces in soft longing curls down her back enveloped in wool. My dog tags weigh heavy around my neck, and I tuck them under my shirt, the metal freezing my chest more than it already did.  

“Aren’t you cold?’ She asks me softly, still refraining from turning around. I can barely make out her round features in the ailing blizzard. I smile lazily, chuckling at her question as I hear the clear worry in her voice.

“No.” I laugh out through the deep snow as I rub the smile off my face with my chapped palm. I can make out a placid frown etched into her face as she turns away. Over my weather-beaten shirt I had a husky polar fleece that kept my organs warm enough from death, but hypothermia would get to me soon if I didn’t protect my hands. Of course I lied to her. We walk in silence for another mile. 

“Are you sure we’ll find the base in time?” Rosetta’s pace slows and her eyes shut every 30 seconds. Her voice is thick with worry as she keeps her gaze on the Taiga's path. Our communications shut down from the blizzard ripping apart the poor connection. And now we had to rely on the stars to navigate us back to the base. I had experience with these things… north of Alaska, the times alone in the woods with my father and my friends. But the more her voice rang with panic, the more my heart dropped to my stomach.

“We just need to stay North until the sky clears.” I say shaking snow off of the skin of my fleece. Her eyes drag her face down again and her chest caves with a sigh.

“Do you need to stop?” I ask gently. She violently shakes her head.

“No, we can't stop.” Her throat sounds raw and her worry sheds into a demand. I bite the inside of my cheek and nod.

“If you say so…” She shivers and nods, flashing a quick smile. The eerie silence of the winter forest, arctic wind humming through the pine, dulled our conversation. I don’t remember how many hours went by while Rosetta and I treaded through the snow before the wind calmed down. I could feel her weight grow heavy and her patience grow dire as she slouches next to me. Stretching my neck, shaking the frost off my muscles, I notice the sky clearing. I nudge her playfully,

“Hey… hey look.” I say pointing at the rich white cosmic swirl in the stretch of the Milky Way. Andromeda follows it delicately. Sometimes I feel as if every time I look into the sky, neighboring galaxies are just getting closer. Her auburn eyes widen as little specks of light scintillate in her irises. And for a moment... for a small fraction in time, I could've sworn her eyes changed to blue. I smile as she relaxes, the anxiety leaving her body with the last gust of wind through the narrow Taiga biome. 

“There.” Rosetta breathes out, pointing into the expansive Polar night. Her breath is hot, beautiful clouds puffing from her warm breath as she speaks. I follow her finger and my eyes meet with Polaris. The celestial clouding warps my eyes and the baby blue strip is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. We admire the sky for a few minutes, drinking in the view. The snow still surrounds us, and I can see the sparkles in the ice as the glitter upon the moon. 

“We can go home now.” My breath caves as I look down at her.

“Shh.” She silences me under her breath as she brings her finger to her lips. Her eyes are locked on the sky. After what feels like hours she picks up her feet again. Rosetta’s body sags into the blanketed fur of snow,

“I don’t want to leave it.” She winces as she takes in a sharp breath. I readjust myself, shifting my rucksack’s weight to my other side.

“Trust me, Rosie, the night will be here for a while.” I chuckle as I continue to move against the thick salt, every once in a while glancing up at the mural of stars above my eyeline. I could feel my hands numbing again. And every once in a while I'd lose sight of Rosetta and call out for her until she caught up with me again.

“The night’s never like this.” Rosetta mumbles softly. And in that, I knew exactly what she had meant. The ice caps, the death, and the cold isn't the same the further North you are. Not here. Not now. I sigh, 

“Maybe it will be one day.” I wish I could say I never lied to Rosetta. She’s been my partner for years now and our missions never really feel the same. This one’s harder for some reason. Reluctantly, she follows me. My fingers burn and chafe against my navy blue fleece. My body felt like sandpaper against the cold. Her stillness is filled with a language I’ve never heard her speak. A language I’m scared to speak in myself. Silence. Ursa Minor hangs above us like a glittering chandelier, a guidance. We track the constellations, encouraging each other to stay awake. 

“What do you think you’ll do once we get back to the base?” The hoarseness in her voice startles me and I almost freeze, but not from the cold. I don’t speak for a minute. Soaking in her words the same way I’ll soak in the warm base when we get back. 

“I-I don’t know.” I answer truthfully. This time I wasn’t lying for her sake. I wasn’t lying for mine either. Our contracts have been limited to 10 years. 10 years after The War, 10 years after our service, and 10 years since we've been away from home. Tomorrow will be our 10th year and I’m planning on getting us there on time. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do anything else.” And with her glance, I knew that she knew what I had meant. 

“I wish I could become part of the galaxy.” She smiles. 

“You are, aren't you?” I question her as she smiles again,

“Technically I am. But I want to be that speckle of light that someone gazes upon.” My eyes linger on her hopeful words, her auburn eyes, and her ruby hair.

"You still are, Rosie." I say once more before we continue into the wild Taiga. The winter drives people crazy, and I'm thankful that she's here to keep me sane. Rosetta's eyes wander through the hollow firs and pines. She eyes the gaps between the trees that's meant for snow, but when there is none, this part of the Taiga looks unfinished.

"I wish I could grow from the snow like that." I follow her gaze to a thick plentiful shrub of witch hazel.

"Some things are just meant to endure this kind of weather." I reply, even though I knew she didn't need one. Rosetta smiles warmly and nods.

"Stop wishing to be made of stars and shrubs, Rosie." I say with a kindness on my tongue.

"You bring people as much joy as nature does." We drag our feet along the arctic landscape and my face feels like fire. And I can't tell if it's her blush or her blood that matches my burning fingertips when she grins at me. But whatever it is, it warms my chest, and my dog tags don't feel as heavy.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course." I wasn't lying when I said this to her either.

"Do you still think about The War, Adrik?" She asks as her neck is bent and her focus is locked on the stars. Her question scared me. My body hated that subject, and nausea chilled my body more than the bleak climate did.

"Not anymore." Lie. I cross my arms, the sore chorded muscle aching as I move my freezing body.

"You ask a lot of questions." She giggles softly and that smile warms my chest again.

"We never get to talk anymore." Rosie says with a faded grin and a collapsed posture. And I'm about to respond but she cuts me off-

"Home!" She screams out as the Taiga clears out. Frowning, I realize I had been looking at her the whole time. I didn't even realize we had arrived. The color drips from my face as we walk into the snowy clearing of the base down the steep icy hill. Home. Taiga ends here and so does the weakness in my body. And as I turn to her and open my mouth she’s gone. Just gone. My mouth drys. So dry, that I force out a hearty cough.

“Rosetta?” I bite out into the wind. I whip my body from side to side, looking for red. Where the hell did she go? My mind races and my heart rate burns my lungs.

“Rosetta!” I cup my hands to my mouth and yell out into the Taiga. Then I go light headed. My body aches, my hands cramping, and the last thing I see is Polaris. Then everything goes white.

When I wake up, doctors surround my defrosting body. The familiar taste of metal burdens my taste buds. Red drips down my lips and a doctor hands me a tissue to wipe up the bloody nose. My eyes widen and as I breathe, my lungs don’t sting in the cold. They melt in the warmth. My body is relaxed and my mind is soft. My fingertips and cartilage are no longer pink. And Rosetta is no longer here. I sit up and pull cords from my forearms,

"Where is she?" I swallow hard as a queasy wave folds over me in the hot ER. Some nurses rush over and help me up. Doctor Sanchez rushes over as her dark hair cascades down her back.

"Who?" She asks as she checks my vitals through the computer I'm hooked up to.

"R-Rosetta." I say as I grip my forehead. Doctor Sanchez nervously laughs,

"Adrik..." Her voice is reassuring yet cautious. She lets out a deep breath,

"I thought you got over her death years ago." My senses shake and my ears twitch in an almost animalistic way. Hypothermia can make some people... hallucinate.. Doctor Sanchez's words bleed out from my ears. Rosetta wasn't here. She never was.