Genius

Write a story about a brilliant scientist making a startling discovery.

           Eureka!!! I've found it. Like everything else scientific, it could be used for good or evil. Let us all pray it's used for good. Some say God isn't scientific, but we know better. God and I. See, God is scientific since God is energy. “God always has been, always will be, can never be created nor destroyed, and is everywhere”. “Energy always has been, always will be, can never be created nor destroyed, and is everywhere,” but everyone knows that. That's not the eureka. I've found the eureka. But, I must remember Nobel. Sir Nobel to me. See, Nobel created an explosive and he gave his famous Nobel Prize to whoever could use it for peace. My discovery: “To publish or not to publish: that is the question”. Stupid question. Have to publish. I'd be the dumbest brilliant scientist in the world if I didn't publish. Where to publish though?  JAMA? Doesn't fit into JAMA. Everyone will want to know. So, maybe the New York Times. Don't want to get into bullshit magazines like Weekly World News. Has to be ligitimate. Has to be proven and peer reviewed, but then it could be used for evil. I can already hear my fellow scientists scoffing me with lines like, “You must be, Scottie. Beam me up, Scottie!” and the like. Or “Put all my problems in your machine and send them to Santa Clause in the North Pole”. Shit like that. Hell, everyone thought light bulbs were a dumb idea since candles were working perfectly. But this is different than candles and lightbulbs. This could be dangerous. Very, very, dangerous.

           See, every living thing (except for plants like trees, or maybe they do, what the fuck do I know?) have organ systems, made up of organs, made up of tissues, made up of cells, made up of atoms, made up of protons, electrons, and neutrons? And what make up protons, neutrons, and electrons? Energy. Now, the atomic bomb split the atom and causes an explosion. But, I, being the genious I am, discovered how to split multiple atoms at the same time without causing an atomic explosion. But, it's like my uncle, the anaesthesiolist, said, “Anyone could put someone under. Hell, a five-year-old girl could do that. It's bringing them back and knowing what's going on when they're under that's the hard part.” So it is with my invention. A five-year-old girl could split multiple atoms, but putting the atoms back together the way they were before they were dissambled, that's the hard part. That's the hard part. But, I figured it out. Already, I know, if the peer reviews go well, what the tabloids and idiots will want to know. “Duh, can you beam me up to another place without reassembling the fifty pounds of fat I need to lose?” And the answer is I don't know if it's possible, but it's not possible yet. “When will it be possible?” I don't know. I don't know.

           Then, I have to remember the evil that will be done with this. Disintegrate yourself, reassemble yourself in the safe of a bank, disintegrate you and the money, and fucking retire. I'm not an evil person. I'm a scientist and a realist and I don't know how the banks or property owners/businesses could protect themselves if my invention is stolen/knocked off. Not if, when my invention is stolen or knocked off. Then, no one will be safe and no where will be safe. Then, maybe I shouldn't publish . . . but someone else will figure this out and I won't get the credit I deserve. I deserve this. 

           They'll need to set up posts, like in Star Trek, posts for being taken apart and being put back together. Only one person, animal, or object at a time. We'll need a metal detector to make sure no one brings anything dangerous like TNT or a gun. Everyone will want this. Right now it only works for other places on Earth, but imagine it working for intergalactic travel, or intertime travel. That again could be used for good or evil. Could be used for discovery or sabotabe. If it becomes mobile and everyone has one, what will happen to the airlines, to the car companies, to trains, to trucks? What will happen to the paychecks?  Imagine disintergrating products from China to America in a few seconds. That's why we must have metal detectors, to protect people from the pissed off truck drivers or train engineers. Engineers can make bombs. Have to publish and be peer reviewed. Fuck 'em. I'm going to be rich. Filthy fucking rich. So, fuck the cops, fuck the FBI, fuck the CIA, fuck the airline companies, fuck the trucks, fuck the train, fuck the auto makers. Fuck everyone but me. I'm going to be rich and famous; famous and rich. I'll take over all the D O Ts and it'll just be me and lots of security guards and metal detectors.  Fuck 'em. This could destroy planet earth. Someone could transport themselves to the center of the Earth and blow themselves up, someone could be killed in a misfire of the atomic disintegration or reintigration. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. Body part could be transferred, abortions could be performed remotely, fuck it. Who cares? I've already applied for the patent and I'll be rich. Financially secure. Never have to beg for cash or worry about where the next meal is coming from so fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. Once my patent comes through, I'm published, and rich. Fuck 'em. Let them kill each other. 

           What about legal insurance? Something like malpractice insurance for inventors for when/if things get fucked up? It'll keep working but people have fucked up using a spoon and killed themselves and sued. I mean, McDonald's got sued for serving hot coffee. Have to consult an attorney before I market this, but what kind of an attorney? A patent attorney, a human rights attorney? Don't know. First, clear the patent, then get the fucking attorney, hire an accountant, a business person, a marketing team, etc. Fuck 'em. I'm rich. 

           If I meet Jiminy Cricket, I'll distentigrate him and send him to the dictator of China. Forget about morals, consciousness, it all comes down to the dollar bill. Popularity, prestige, supply, demand, next new technology, and this is it. This is the new tech, if the patent clears. 

           Haven't told the wife and kids yet, but they'll be happy once the money comes in and then the kids can get into any school they want: Hell, even Harvard. Then, they'll thank me for my lust and greed and won't care if it's right or wrong. It's like fire. It's not right or wrong, it's how you use it. Imagine this is the new black hole. The ultimate black hole that transforms time/space and creates limitless dimensions. Imagine the money. Once the money and fame come in, they'll love me and love this invention. “Blow up the outside world” for all I care. Fuck it. Fuck 'em. As long as I'm rich and free. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all.